Independent man - yes or no?

Think about a man who isn't just able to make enough money for him and maybe his family but is also able to cook some food, wash clothes, clean the house... A man who doesn't need anybody else to do the work for him. Now...
... guys, would you like to be that kind of a man?
... girls, would you like it if your partner is that kind of a man?
Independent man - yes or no?

  • Yes please!
    Vote A
  • No thanks!
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My partner is that kind of man. He can do everything, BUT that dosnt mean that he has to. In a relationship people should share those tasks depending of how busy they are. But for sure im happy that he can cook and wash his clothes so that when im not there for some time i know that he won't starve and wear dirty clothes.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I voted "no thanks".

    Because I ~am~ that kind of man. Partly just because that's just how I am, and partly because of my wife's medical condition.

    I get up, I go to work, I come home, and I do all the housework. I cook, I look after the kids, I wash the clothes, I clean the house. I go to sleep.

    That's my existence, and I don't mind telling you that I'm over it.

    On my lunch, I come here for some reason. I used to read the news, and it's just depressing. Surely there must be something better I could be doing with my time.

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What Girls Said 78

  • I EXPECT a decent man to be like that. Cooking food or cleaning are really, really basic skills that pretty much every human should be able to do. I would consider a guy a manchild if he wasn't able to do those things, and I'm not willing to become another adult's mom just because he doesn't know how to boil water or turn the washing machine on. I'm not even talking about being capable of making gourmet-level food, it's enough to know the basics and be able to pull together some yummy dishes. It's also enough to vacuum about once or twice a week and do some surface cleaning, as well as being able to pick up after yourself and wash the dishes. I'm not expecting him to do a spring cleaning-level cleanout every day.
    I also wouldn't really call that independence. Even when I was living with my parents, I was expected to pick up after myself, do the dishes and keep my own room clean. It's such a basic living standard that I can't understand why anyone would ever want to go out with someone who doesn't know how to cook or clean.

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  • Yes. I couldn't be with a guy who couldn't do anything for himself. I'd feel more like his mother if he expected me to do everything for him.

    At least when I'm at work, and he's off , he'll be able do the cooking, cleaning , washing etc instead of expecting me to do it all when I get home.

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  • EVERYONE, guy and girls, should be able to do those things for themselves and for others. That being said, running a household isn’t a one person job. These responsibilities should be shared. You help each other out. To think that a guy who can cook a little and clean up after himself and do his own laundry is a big deal is ridiculous. Like, oh my goodness, he’d BETTER be able to do those things.

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  • I don’t call that independent. I call that “being an adult.”

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    • Yeah I know... Enough people said the same 🙄 to me it's part of being independent and independence is part of being an adult. That's a matter of definition. I just realized that a lot of guys I know are unable to take care of themselves and I've want to know what others think about it. Didn't knew it would be so difficult to get a "yes" or a "no". The question is still the same even if it's what makes the difference between adults and children for you.

    • Why would I want to be in a relationship with a child?

  • My boyfriend is like this !! He does a lot for himself and I don't feel like a glorified maid unlike with my ex. My ex could do for himself but would rather have me do it for him. My current boyfriend loves to help out around the house because it makes my burdens lighter and he's not a bum lmao

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  • Yes please. I'm sick of the guy that thinks his only job is to hold a job. It's unattractive to be such a lazy sluggish spoiled brat. Guys would almost never accept that in a lady but feel entitled to be taken care of even if she works too, makes more money, or just does all the "adulting" in the relationship. No matter how much is on her plate that guy is everywhere. It's refreshing to see a guy hold his own weight just as I'm sure the same can be said for some guys.

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  • I want partners who are adults and know how to do all the normal adult things. When I am with someone, I want us to develop interdependence on things we decide, not just default.

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  • Personally no, I'd want to take on the traditional gender roles honestly so then I can be pulling my weight by doing what I know I'm good at like cooking, cleaning, washing etc. And it would be my way of showing him how much he means to me.

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  • If I was at home with children, I wouldn't expect my husband to do all that unless I couldn't keep up with it all or some reason. If I was working full-time, I would expect some help.

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  • I know, I am going to come off as a complete bitch, but guys should already know how to do a majority of those things: cooking, cleaning, and laundry. If they don't, all the burden falls on you (the woman or man as the SO in the relationship).

    As for making money to provide for him self is obvious, but I personally wouldn't expect it from the person who has a whole family as well. Where I live it either takes a lot of luck or 2 breadwinners.

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  • Only if there was more men like that. I think it's great if a man can be independent.

    I do like to look after people and help out my guy friends with cleaning and cooking mainly because there hopeless but I think it shows their moving with the time's and have their shit together when they looks after themselves. Women have the own stuff to deal with as well now like careers and don't have the time so it's good if he can help out once and while

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  • Lol I hope my future hubby can cook. My cooking experiments usually end up in the trash or burning down buildings. (Exaggerating)

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  • Na I want them to need me for something... And if they are doing everything there is no time left, I know, I do everything and I don't have enough hours in the day. The point is to balance the load so you both have a chance to enjoy life a bit.

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  • The point of a committed relationship is sharing the burdens - I don't "want" a guy who'll do everything.
    But being able to take of yourself properly is important, of course.

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  • yes I would. I'd love to be with someone rich so they can pamper me, but I would also work beside them. as for food making, yes he should do that with his woman... its supposed to be a partnership, not slavery

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  • I’d want to share the household chores and I think they’re important skills for every adult

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  • Yes, yes, a thousand times YES! I don't like men that act like children.

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  • It's very attractive for a guy to be able to carry his own weight especially since, in this day and age they definitely want you to carry yours. I personally think that's just called being an adult.

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    • Sure but if a guy is out working and a woman is at home, don't you think she should pull her own weight and help out so he doesn't have to come home and clean up everything after a full day? I think 10 hours is enough time to clean and cook at home. After that it should be shared.

  • Tempting, but his cleaning/cooking ain't gonna help me pay the bills. We both need a job and we both need to help around the house

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    • But his cleaning and cooking might actually save you energy to work and pay the bills.

    • @DiegoO nah we both gone work. We do minor cleaning (dishes, vaacuming, etc) on weeknights and major cleaning (bathrooms, bedrooms, etc) on weekends

    • Cool.

  • That's what a real man is a man able to have an intelligence like that im that as woman now a specialist in a decent job many friends a perfect mindset of bkth sides if gender and i was a kid no one wanted nor wanted to take care of i had a bad start in life now i have it all i still dont have much money its nothing important i dont need it if i need something someone says I'll help out i return the favor if i have something to give back even if it's a mere conversation i became then the alchemist manys thankful my minds money not money for itsself ☺

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  • Yes. I don’t want a guy who always expects me to cook, clean and do his laundry. It’s not that I would be opposed to doing it from time to time, but he needs to be able to take care of himself.

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  • I’d be content with working if he can hold down the fort! If not then we’d have to make something work but if he can hold down the fort and cook I’d definitely take it. I’m not really into being a house wife, But I will if I have to.

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  • A guy who can cook is always a bonus! So we can cook together! And we can share the duties

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    • I love cook that my specialist think for real I loved do this

    • I'm independent guy sorry I try talk clear for not surprised my school is street teachers.. just now I'm the teacher for to many peoples

  • Even though I said yes.
    I like being needed so even if he is completely independent. If he can depend on me sometimes, that would be very nice.

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  • This is just being an adult. These are the thinhs adults should already be doing so yes, that is very important to me. Critical even.

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  • isn't that just being an adult?

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    • Yes. But he wants attention and a cookie.

    • Show All
    • "that may have been basic knowledge back then.."

      Wow, so this generation regressed.

      That hasn't happened for 130 years!.

      Thats pathetic. 20 yr olds can't even do basic stuff to be functional adults

    • They deserve a gold star for doing the bare minimum.

  • I've been postponing answering this question because of the way it's worded. I won't answer the poll but give my opinion. I believe everyone should know how to do basic stuff like cleaning, doing the dishes, washing their clothes, etc. And definitely have a job. That's not exclusive to one sex. Every adult should know how to do those things. Independence is one of the most important aspects of adulthood. And of course, I'd like to be with an independent person. But relationships are based on team work. Both people should do those things in a relationship.

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  • Being independent means your at a certain level of maturity, which Is perfect! Plus, if were both helping around the house that's 10/10 for me

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  • That's a huge requirement to be with me... A Nan must be self sufficient able to take care of himself, I'm not there to take care of him...

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  • I think its always good to have a partner who is self sufficient and can take care of themselves those around them. Even if you hold the job in the family, its always good to be able to pull your own weight and let your partner know you can.

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What Guys Said 130

  • To add to what has already been said. A man's role in the family has changed. Even though women still prefer to do the house work in general, by nature. But they don't have enough time to do it all in addition to a career and raising children. They don't have time for themselves, which is important. So men have to be able to cook, clean and take care of children, everything, to be able to give them a break once in a while.

    Also, with an economy, that treats both genders equally more and more, the reason for even starting a family is changing. We start to no longer require each other for survival. Hence divorce happens ever more frequently.

    The reason for a family now must probably be escape from oneself, from being independant. Becoming emotionally (and even spiritually) dependant on others. This way, a man becomes independant from himself and his own small desires and childish ways.

    A child can learn to take care of himself. But it takes a man to take care of others corporeally and emotionally.

    So the reason to start a family is self growth.

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  • i do.
    it was really bad at first to live alone, work and back home to make food and clean my shit.
    after 1 year it was good and i felt like i control everything.
    now after 10 years i can't imagine myself living with someone sharing my home and stuff! :D

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  • I am that kind of man. After moving out of my parents house at 18 and living on my own, you don't really have a choice but to do everything, which I did and did well. Of course I helped around the house growing up so I already knew what needed to be done. But now that I am Married and have a kid the workload is balanced out.

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  • I've been doing for myself since I've been 10 years old, washing dishes, my clothes, cleaning everything from my house to car etc.. and fixing everything.. It's so bad that if a woman does something for me I feel guilty LOL because I'm so used to doing everything!

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  • Women only think they want a completely self-sufficient man until they try to play bullshit head games and he drops them off at the corner like a sack of garbage. I'm too busy taking care of shit to deal with the average woman's crap. She isn't a necessity, because I can do everything myself, so when she goes from being a benefit in my life to being a nuisance or a drain on me, I can cut ties without a problem.

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  • Well nowadays a lot of what you have said is not an option anymore, but rather a necessity, so it is good if a man can get well by himself, specially considering that kids nowadays aren´t being trained to do basic stuff from a relative young age, today´s education is turning out to be a disaster.

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  • Sharing the work is fine, but I guess some context would be nice. If I'm supporting my wife then I will expect her to do at least most of the cleaning and cooking. If we're both working then of course sharing the chores is natural. I think most men can do all of this for themselves and just don't like to.

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  • if either person is doing everything, they may aswell be single... the point of a relationahip is to operate as a team... to share joy, love, work, sorrow, resources, etc... neither party should be able to to be a leech on the other... how these things are divided is pretty fluid based upon the needs and preferences of those involved...

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  • Well, I AM this kind of men. Imagin if my girl is tired or sick, or pregnant or traveled somewhere. I would have to chose between staying in dirt and buying overpriced fastfood or to clean my house and cook clean cheap delicious food. So i have higher savings and i take care about my girl if she's not doing well. But other than that. We can share the chores.

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  • It is all about balance. A man should be able to take care of himself without a woman doing it for him. Just because he is a man does not mean that he cannot pick up a dishrag and wash the dishes. Anyone can do simple household chores and cook a basic meal.
    Managing a household is all about balance. Find out what your spouse can do really well and play off that, who knows, he or she may actually like cleaning the bathroom while you hate it.

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  • Though I am not at a stance where I am able to make that type of money, as I am neck deep in academics, I work on those skills now, by cooking for friends at my appartment, or theirs. I take on new responsibilities as I go on with my life until I can go into the work force

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  • I am that man and have no shame about it. I was injured at work so have not worked for three years, but even when I did work, I usually do/did the shopping, love to cook (am good at it too) and do most all the laundry. My wife drives an hour each way to work and works 9 or 10 he's a day. So its what we have to do. 10 years ago I was putting in 75-90hrs a week and she had to do it all. Its called teamwork. And yes ladies I even iron! Lol

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  • I was self-dependent when I was single. Everything from cooking to mowing the lawn.. What's fun is when you entertain a lady and they see that. Eggs Benedict and Gewurztraminer wine for breakfast in bed.

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    • When you are free-standing, a love interest knows you don't need her there to serve you... you WANT her in your life.

  • I'm able to cook clean and do everything for myself heck me and my girlfriend have been together for about 8 months now and Wendy together at my place at least twice a week at her place twice a week I have cooked almost other meals she has cooked twice as well as I do all my own cleaning

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  • I have been on my own since 13. I now travel so much for work that I don't have a place anymore so no personal house crap anymore. I would say I am independent. Also, the hell with LTRs.

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  • Of course. This is incredibly basic stuff. I want to have a nice life, so i have to provide it for myself. It is not going to magically appear out of nowhere.

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  • I don't get the point of this question. What's the alternative to the guy you are describing - a mama's boy who can't figure out how to do dishes and is too dumb to use a washing machine, and only eats frozen dinners? Why would anybody before that?

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  • That's not enough, unfortunately.

    I cook. I clean. But women aren't impressed. They mostly want the douchebags.

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    • Did you try to cook something tasty for the girl you have a crush on? Maybe it could work to break the ice.

  • One of may hobbies is cooking, I find it enjoyable, chilli con carne , chocolate cake , merengues all done them. Cleaning I don't enjoy but I can do it if needed. Am i independent mostly, can cook for myself , clean up and do spots of DIY.

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  • I am a fully independent man, cook, clean and earn a healthy living. It is to share, that way done quicker and spend more time doing leisure or pleasure

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  • Everybody is expected to be independent, either gender. This isn't anything new.
    And no, most mature adults are not interested in babysitting another adult.

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  • Why would anyone answer no to be honest? "Would you like to be able to do this, but also this or would you rather only be able to do only this?" Lmao

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  • No because its will not make your partner active and she will not learn anything should in case she doesn't even know how to clean the floor and you will Never know how good and bad she is in terms of cooking and other house work does to me.

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  • Duude flip the question rather. I know a shit ton of girls who dont know how to cook, wash clothes... fing barbaric. And even worse they kinda expect the man to do all of it (20-27y/o) I almost lost the will to date everytime i meet a girl like that.

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  • I am that kind of man. I've lived on my own for a long time - even when I've had girlfriends, many preferred not to move in full time - and I have no problems doing any domestic task.

    That's not to say it isn't great to have someone to share those responsibilities with, but I certainly have no problem cooking a meal or doing a load of laundry - OR doing most household repairs/upgrades.

    I think EVERY adult should know how to do those things - even if they CAN afford to pay someone to do them.

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  • Any guy can share in the household tasks. It's just a matter of being motivated and somewhat organized/disciplined.

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  • I lived on the road for apmost a decade, so I've been like this since i was 19 or so. Sure its nice to have someone to meet me halfway, but i dont need it

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  • I think I have no choice I'm going to be that type of man anyways because I'm not born rich and have to work my way through the top so I'll start here... But this is unfair to have a family in such hard conditions so I should endure this alone

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  • That's me through and through, it fucken sucks sometimes though. If shit hits the fan you got to buck up and not say a word then get to work on fixing it. Girls love a man with his shit together though something i realized myself is sometimes you have too much of your shit together that you feel you don't have time to "deal" with a woman. I said that one day when i was stressed and a girl who had been trying to flirt with me for months at work started up at it again. The key word that i realized it "deal". It puts things into perspective when you break it down on pen and paper. There's nothing to really deal with but the unknown and a second person in my house. I think the fear of the unknown and how it could affect my current lifestyle is what scares me of having a girlfriend.

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  • I had to become that guy. I'm raising 4 boys now as a single dad. I was scared at first but God really set things up so that I could do it.

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