What are reasons why men start to pull away?

Is it because he found a new interest? Is it because he’s scared of the feelings he’s developing? Is there something going on personally with him? Any other reasons? I know the three examples I have are very plausible, but which one is most common?

Before we had a break from school, the guy I was talking to seemed very interested, spent a lot of time with me (almost everyday) and admitted he would miss me. We didn’t talk much over the break because we were both with family and I didn’t want to be too much of a bother. If he saw me post something on Snapchat, he would usually comment on it however and I the same. When we got back from break, he still wasn’t talking as much and didn’t rush to hangout. When we did hangout, though, he was very cuddly (and wasn’t trying to imitate sex) and said he missed me ( randomly, I didn’t ask him). We also had good conversation. The next day though, once he left, he went back to barely texting back.

I know I shouldn’t take texting seriously, but when I say he’s always on his phone, he’s ALWAYS on his phone. So responding to a message 1-2 hours later consistently is rare for him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Most men will immediately express their interest for a woman; there's much less beating around the bush. If he doesn't seem into you, he's not holding back, this just isn't going anywhere. If he seems into you, he's not being nice, he actually wants to make something happen.

    Your situation is more unique– he was acting really interested, but now he's dialled it back. To be blunt, it sounds as if his interest has faded a bit. It tends not to go up from here. Based on what information you've given us, he finds you interesting and attractive enough to spend time with you and be somewhat intimate if he feels like it, but I don't think he wants any more than this. When someone decreases their enthusiasm for any real amount of time, it's a big of a black flag.

    How much do you like this guy? If it's a lot, don't come on too strong. Give one or two attempts to make something happen, but if he keeps being dismissive, don't waste your time. You mentioned him always checking his phone, yet taking forever to answer you. Fairly recently I was dating a girl who checked her phone a lot more than I was comfortable with when we hung out, but took forever to answer my texts. If someone cares, they'll make time to talk to you.

    I think you're a lot more into this guy than he is into you. Sometimes people do suddenly become more interested, but as a rule, these situations don't end well. He's leaving you hanging and giving you mixed signals. Although it's not necessarily over, you do deserve better.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Give and take is very much part of a relationship. Remember, you both were not speaking for a while (being away) etc, I'd ask him if he wants to go out if he says yes, spend quality time. Maybe he has a lot going on with job, family, friend etc just find a convenient time to meet, make it fun and see what happens.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 27

  • I feel he may have been really interested at first, and wants to feel something with you. But just ended up not as interested as he thought, this happens and it's unfortunate. He may not be ready for a relationship. Hopefully you'll get an explanation

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  • When a woman consistently exhibits a positivity to crazy/drama ratio that exceeds her hotness. Or he’s detected personality disorders or other turn-offs. Maybe he feels like she just doesn’t pull her weight, put in enough effort or she’s just using him. Another girl more fun is another possibility, but it’s usually either her negative behavior or something she’s not doing, and it’s boring him.

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  • Well it could be a few different reasons why men pull away maybe they feelings have changed or maybe they never felt anything in the first place they were just trying to get sex or could be that the person that they were would have changed. It could be a lot of reasons for anybody that's been through that I suggest you talk to the person and find out why they pulled away

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  • I've actually done this before. It was actually because I liked her more than I thought I should have so early on. So when I was with her I acted how I felt but when I wasn't I tried acting distant so she wouldn't think it was too much or get weirded out.
    It's cuz of your story that I realize I probably only sent mixed signals instead of creating a balance.

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  • A lot of the time, its because lack of maturity, understanding, or just being scared of the commitment. If a guy pulls away and there was something going, ask him about it. If there was nothing more than a few flirts, it may just be his nature.

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  • Maybe he liked your physical company, but realised you were a bit boring so found someone more interesting, or you became too clingy and demanding of his time (I mean you are complaining he is taking 1-2 hours to respond, come on chill).

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  • It sounds like he's got something personal going on and he's trying to find a way to express that but cannot find the words. Maybe offering words of comfort will help

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  • Hmm in this case I think you shouldn't put to much into it. If it really bothers you though, ask. Seriously ask why you feel like he isn't talking as much. And say that you want to talk more.

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  • Its Probably personal reasons. If he's shown that he likes u, but won't date u, means he probably isn't ready for a relationship and thats something u can't really help.

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  • I think it is odd for a man to pull out. Normally he would push in as hard and deep as he can until he orgasim it gets flaccid and pulling out is the only option.

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  • He is seeking physical attention he isn't getting any physical attention or not as much as he wants is it bad to want it, can't say but thats the deal.

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  • i am a guy and it all matters on the relationship some guys want someone new some guys just want to be single and some guys just dont love the other person

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  • Maybe you're not expressing interest in him and he doesn't feel like trying

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  • Because he's letting you to chase him and avoid the friend zone :p

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  • Deep deep down he might be a player... but he does like you.

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  • Distance makes the heart less fond.

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  • What's the main reason you would pull away?

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  • bad sex

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  • Something you said hit home to morals

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  • Bad sex or no sex

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  • He sick of having sex with you

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  • When ego starts getting hurt

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  • Hmm. He could just be busy? It really depends.

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  • Feels trapped and walls closing in

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  • Depending on the color of your skin.

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  • Once we have sex, we no longer need to put up with your bullshit.

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  • Too clingy - too fast. Smothering.

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What Girls Said 10

  • I guess his interest died down a bit over break, maybe pull back a bit and see what he's does. He still acts distant and uninterested then I wouldn't bother any longer.

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  • Sometimes he's a little bitch, other time he's playing games, and very rarely he's into someone else, it's mostly cause he's a little bitch.

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  • Maybe in this case he is waiting until you initiate conversation to see how interested you are or if you miss him type bit?

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  • As the movie said, he is just not that into you

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  • I'd ask if everything is ok

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  • Because you are too complicated

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  • Scared of feelings

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  • I would walk away

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  • Because you're no more beautiful in he's face

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  • Possible that he has something personal going on. Just let him know about your thoughts and you will be there for him if he wants to talk.

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    • 7d

      This is the most pathetic thing you do. Always talking about being there but yet your not just don't. I've already listened to this TRASH for nearly 20 years. Y'all are liars so don't suggest that she set herself up for failure the shit's pathetic to listen to, believe, consider, waste time on.

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    • 4d

      That's my point @Kronky they do that all of them and whether they are there or not they have no clue what's being told to them then they tend to respond to their interpretation instead of clarifying their interpretation before giving an irrelevant response that has nothing to do with the message the man wants to convey. We may be "the same" speak the same language but the male female interpretations of conversations, tend to get misconstrued a lot.

      Okay @Owner if you feel you can DO THE JOB make sure to update us on how well or poorly you did.

    • 4d

      Oh @Kronky my point was they do that scheduling and all but they're bad at interpreting the truth of the argument. They try and be there but they refuse to be understanding in full to deconstruct what's being conveyed and return the essential feedback to inflict change.

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