Is it normal to beg myself to change?

So I've been pretty irresponsible for years (probably my whole life), and I'm just lazy overall and play video games a lot. I've been trying to change for years also (I'd say at least 5 years) and be more responsible, get better grades, etc. I've reached points that I'm so lazy, but at the same time feel guilty about not studying, that I decide to literally do nothing and sleep all day. Right now, I'm at a point that I'm literally, in my mind, begging myself to snap out of this illusion that life is either just simple or just complicated all the time. It's a combination of both. What makes me feel strange is that I was just enjoying an assignment for one of my CS courses, and started BEGGING myself to start doing assignments on time because I'm so tired of being like this. Even if/when I'm responsible, all I can think of is playing video games or doing some other hobby (like drawing or playing guitar) at the end of the day or even going out (although I don't have anything interesting to do outside). Is it weird that I'm begging myself to change? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm exhausted of the life I've been living...
Is it normal to beg myself to change?
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