His little actions said he loved me but his big actions said that he didn't care about me. What did he really feel for me?

I thought he loved me because...
- he wouldn't ever pressure me for sex and even would deny me sex just to lie in bed and talk to me
-he rarely apologize but when he did he expressed deep remorse and even cried while telling me how sorry he was and how I didn't deserve to be hurt
-after sex he would hold me and say he loved me even when he was hot he would do it so that I wasn't sad
-or he would go more rounds even after he was tired so that I was satisfied
-he would tell his friends and family that he loved me and that I was his girlfriend
-he would stare at me sometimes for a while and when I would ask why he was staring he would simply say " I love you"
-he told me serious secrets that you dont just tell anybody
-he spent maybe hundreds of dollars on gifts I never asked for and continually offered to buy me things
-he would say he saw a future with me
-he would say he missed me and needed my support
-even when he was mad at me he never called me names or said anything hurtful. Actually he seemed to know exactly what to say to give me the impression that he really did care about me because even while angry he would reassure me that he loved me
-Im 99% sure that he never told anybody about our bad times or talked about me behind my back

But it was all contradicted because...
-we were broken up and even when we would makeup we argued so much we never officially got back together
-he had a tinder app and kept in contact with his ex girlfriend and had girls in his phone
-he lied to me about big things in his life. His "brother" wasn't his real brother and his "daughter" was a step daughter they were both realeted to his ex girlfriend
-he didn't trust me or and often doubted that I really cared about him
-he would go weeks without talking to me
- He. wasn't really there for me when I needed him (with the exception of 1 time when my family member died)
-He abandoned me many times
His little actions said he loved me but his big actions said that he didn't care about me. What did he really feel for me?
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