Do guys like to be chased?

On GAG I always read coming from guys "Why don't girls ask guys out, why do guys have to", but when I show interest or chase guy, for example I like this guy he had gigs and I would always come to listen to him play the guitar and I was always in his presence.. he ended up ignoring me and said to my friend boyfriend that I was annoying him. That's just one guy out of many. Guys run away the second a girk shows interest.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Because we want you to show interest, but not aggressively so. Imagine you went to sell something online. You had a few potential buyers call. You know there is interest in what you are selling. Now you want a buyer to call you once and ask a few solid questions, then you know they are genuinely interested. But if you get a caller who calls you thirty five times in ten minutes and asks you a hundred questions, you get annoyed and pass on their offer and look at other buyers. Same applies to flirting. You have to show a couple decent flirts to show you are interested, but leave it at that. Like smile, hold eye contact slightly longer than you normally would with a typical stranger, and maybe approach for a light conversation of small talk. Then leave and make him want to pursue you after that.

    This way you have him signals, but not enough to turn him away. But enough to get his attention and make him want you

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    • I do smile and keep longer eye contact, they do respond positivly, they just aren't interested, but I don't get it why do they respond positive if they aren't interested.

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    • And how to move forward if they are nervous?

    • Just imagine your favorite celebrity, or someone of huge status, ran into you at the store. I am sure you would be pretty nervous right? Well just try to think what they could do in that situation to calm you down.

      Essentially what I am saying is, just try to approach them, but do it as a friend would. Walk towards them, or say something to them in a way that calms them. Try to lead with a joke, or maybe lead off with something that you think you might have in common. Are you a fan of Game Of Thrones, or Breaking Bad? Maybe a certain sports team? Go with that. Once the conversation starts flowing, nervous guys tend to feel more content and can open up. Before you know it, he is telling you everything about himself and is asking for your number to meet you again

  • It isn't true that guys always run away when a girl shows interest. It is true that he would have to be interested in her too. That's the same risk that guys take when we show or declare interest in a girl. We take the risk that she isn't interested. What guys are saying is that girls should occasionally step up and take that risk too.

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    • So basically I'm srewed.

    • No, that's not the case. Nobody is all things to all people. Sometimes it's our approach that isn't right, sometimes it's us who isn't right. Sometimes those things can be fixed. Always go to strategy before accepting the limitations of physicality, that's what I say.

    • exactly this ^

      also I don't know how 'screwe'd came up out of what he said.. its a risk. that means there's a chance. like anything else in life you do. :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • girls do the same to guys. unless they are interested. if someone is not interested they get annoyed. i think its dumb bc someone is interested you should be flattered either way. anyhow, thats not bc you are a girl its bc you are a girl they do not lie.

    guys DO like getting approached. people like people approaching them-if they are interested.

    any guy who says no he does not like it is just lying or crazy. if a girl he really liked asked him out, he's not going to say no. unless he is crazy.

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    • people who approach get rejected, thats how it works. doesn't mean you're doing a wrong thing... sometimes someone likes you back. mostly they don't. the more you trey the more rejections but the more chance to finding a person YOU CHOOSE you like, not just a guy who shows up and asks you lout. :-)

    • Sometimes I think being homosexual pays off..

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 55

  • Well, now you know guys feel. You put yourself out there, you make yourself vulnerable and most of the time you have absolutely nothing to show for it. It's confusing, it's terrifying and it's emotionally draining. The unfortunate reality is we like to be pursued by people we're attracted to and we'd prefer those we aren't attracted to leave us alone. This is true for men and women. Just because someone likes being pursued doesn't mean they like being pursued by you. Most of the people you like will not like you back. Such is life.

    We're not suggesting you pursue men because being the pursuer is a highly effective dating strategy - it's not. Just ask a man. But if the guy you like doesn't interact with you and you don't interact with him, the chances of anything happening is exactly zero. If you go after him, the odds will not be in your favour, even terrible, but they will not be zero either.

    I always try to be understanding but I hate to admit I always feel kind of angry when I read questions like these where a girl decides to pursue a guy, he's not interested and she decides that it sucks and it's a waste of time to pursue a man and it's better to let guys come to her.

    At least she has that option. For men, the choice is either to constantly put yourself out there and get shot down again and again and again until you're finally accepted, or being completely alone. Unless you're extremely attractive you can never count on a woman making the same effort for you. If you're unattractive, you could wait your whole life.

    And what adds insult to injury is that some women rationalize this by thinking we "like the chase". Maybe some do but the vast majority of us do it because we must. Even more insulting is the whole "if he doesn't move mountains to be with you, he doesn't really love you" shtick.

    This is what we experience all the time. We can't just quit when we want out. I wish women realized that.

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  • Yes, they do! The thing is, people only want to be chased by those they find attractive. Unfortunately not everyone find every single person attractive, so unless you think they might like you, it will feel like constantly playing a losing game. Just keep going, you've just run into the wrong guys by chance!

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  • Welcome to the world of men. Just because you try and put forth effort it doesn't mean the guy will fall for you. Most men fail more than they succeed. This is why men want women to chase them once in a while. But just like you won't be intrested in every man that pursues you, we won't be interested in ever woman that pursues us.

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  • As long as I am single and she is desirable, definitely. If she is, for example, a crazy stalker who smokes, no way. I would go on a date with most women who asked, in part to reward them for taking the initiative.

    Musicians have tons of women interested in them, so they can be an especially difficult guy to reel in (some athletes, too).

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  • You can think of me as a real life doctor house but instead of medicine i know a lot about technology. If a girl shows interest i`d either push her away knowing what an emotional wreck i am or go along and try to make her have fun and eventually turn her into a friend.

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  • It depends on the type of interest the woman shows. And to be honest he just might not be into you. Next time you see him just ask him out for a drink or dinner.
    If I were him and you were always around I would feel like you were stalking me and to be honest that is a little creppy.

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    • Then I guess I should stop reaching out, because it seem pointless.

    • It is never pointless. Remember guys are dumb for the most part we dont pick up on hints. Be bold and be direct. Tell him you would like to do something together.

  • Depends on how well we actually know you. If there has been positive reciprocation between the two, it can be quite a confidence boost to a male to be chased. If the reciprocation isn't really there, the chances of positive reception to your chasing go down. And that's universal across the sexes.

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  • Some me like it some men don't
    If you like some guy and he isn't coming to you then he is either Not interested or is uncomfortable coming to you
    If you go to him he might say no or he might say yes if he says no you are no worse of if he says yes you are ahead
    So just go for it

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  • I don't understand that I think it's very nice if a woman shows interest in a man sometime they are skeptical they don't believe it they have to think about it they have to get it in their mind all about it it's not like a man asking a woman out that something is always supposed to happen now you have reverse things on him and he has to think about it

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  • Hipsters and closeted homosexuals do. You lose the masculinity but hey at least you get the effeminate ideal you've been looking for in one of those options. No wars in sight, so they won't be dying like useless flies anytime soon ;)

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  • I guess it's about how hard you chase and how much he's into you. If he really likes you and you're not to pushy then things should pick up pretty quick. But a lot of dudes don't really catch on very fast or know how to make a move. And then there are the ones that would rather do the chasing then be chased. It just goes from guy to guy

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  • It is a turn on when a girl goes out of her way for a man instead of the other way around. It is so rare that it is amazing when it happens.

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  • Pretty much only when they like the girl already and are open to a relationship. Otherwise, best case is he'll like the ego boost or maybe easy hookup opportunity assuming he finds her cute enough.

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  • I'm guessing these guys you chanced didn't feel the same back?

    I'd love it if I liked her as well. Even if I don't, I appreciate and respect her for approaching.

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  • >> Guys run away the second a girk shows interest.

    A guy could come to the same conclusion if he gets rejected several times in a row, e. g. If you take on the role of the pursuer then rejections come with the territory. Doesn't necessarily mean the other person dislikes anyone who pursues.

    The tricky thing to me with girls pursuing is that I don't think most would like a guy who takes on the role of the one being pursued so much. It's like how many girls want to ask a guy out and risk being rejected, arrange the date, lead him around, pay for everything, and then initiate the first kiss? Most girls seem to prefer guys who take on the initiative.

    The other issue is that a guy doesn't need to like a girl that much to have sex with her. So if a girl pursues a guy and his interest in her is not so high, he might take the offer and sleep with her but not be interested in much more, when the girl might have been hoping for more.

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  • Some guys don't mind, like some want to make the move themselves. Also maybe the guy isn't into you. There are a lot of different things, though my personal opinion I don't mind if the girl makes the first move, makes it that much easier.

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  • I know what you mean! I love a really confident women that most importantly can also lead a conversation it’s really great but doesn’t happen often enough

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  • I think every man is different when it comes to this issue. There are men who have no quarrel taking the initiative and pursuing a woman that they truly like, but they also wouldn’t mind if that woman took the initiative and became active in showcasing interest in him. There are some men who fall into the far ends of the aisle and either want to be the sole initiators or want the roles to be reversed in this manner and have women approach and pursue them for a change. I think most men are in the middle like my first example, including me.

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  • Yeah one of the best feeling, in ur case he really is stupid

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  • I don't want to be chased, but I do appreciate straight-forwardness in any person. If they are entertaining thoughts of liking a person I would imagine that person would like to know too.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Of course they like, it's good for ego, and that attitude saying you are annoying it's normal too, if you stop chase him, you will see he will miss you.

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  • I don’t like guys who play games. I like to be straightforward about stuff like this

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  • I believe that's a turn off for them. They like to do the chasing

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  • And then they say girls are complicated..

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  • I think guys like to be chased

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  • The opposite actually

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  • Well. Now most men are like p#ssies

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  • Even if they did enjoy it I would never chase after a guy because of the exact same scenario you had to deal with—once they know you are interested and they don’t have to do anything to attract you they can easily turn around and call you annoying or think you are desperate. Chasing a guy only feeds his ego. If you can’t at least meet in the middle in terms of attracting the man, then just resign and let him go because nobody has time to deal with these kind of games.

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    • Ever thought that he was never interested in the first place. It's really that simple. It goes both ways. Whoever does the chasing takes that risk. The risk being they aren't interested in you.

    • That’s very true.

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