Should I be worried or say something to my boyfriend about his Instagram use?

My boyfriend seems to only use Instagram to look and follow gurl my age around me (not inst models). Obv he follows friends and a few boys. But he has never posted anything on it so he may as well look single to everyone that goes on his page. I don’t mind him following girls but I saw a pic he screenshoted from insta of a girl in a bikini and another one of her friend pushing up her boobs then another one of a girl in a Bikini. I know of these girls they aren’t famous or anything. It made me feel shit and I wondered why the hell does he have these photos? Did he send them to a chat or does he just look at them all the time
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  • No
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Honestly from my experience on Instagram all it is for is memes, pictures of animals and pictures of half naked women. That's it. Just because he is looking at and saving pictures doesn't mean anything. He's with you and that's what matters. Now if he is messaging these girls and stuff that can be a big issue. Honestly ask him why to see what he says. Also tell him you want him to post more pics on there especially of you two together, that shouldn't be that big of a request and he should easily oblige. If he refuses then odds are something is up and you should be more worried.

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    • Yea that’s another thing he never posts anything and there’s no pics of us together

  • I said yes.
    One because it's a dick thing to do when in a relationship. I like beautiful women as much as the next heterosexual male. But, I'm not going to seek out photo's of them on the internet, and save them. That's just wrong.

    Two, because you are being affected by it. You should not be uncomfortable in a relationship. You have every right to bring it up.

    Hope everything works out. Wish you the best.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • My ex used to do things like this, I felt extremely insecure the whole time. I think you need to talk to him about this. If someone calls you insecure, and tells you that you are overreacting, ignore them. This issue may not bother them, but it bothers YOU (and that is all that matters). If he doesn’t stop, or you two can’t find a compromise, I’d suggest dating someone else. Be with a man who doesn’t have time for these activities (my new boyfriend never does anything like this, and I’ve never felt more secure or trusting of a man).

    I think you need to talk to him. But, don’t accuse him of anything - just talk :)

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    • I love this answer. People are so quick to call others insecure when they don't know you at all. Those people who are all so carefree and let there partners do whatever are probably getting cheated on constantly 😑 so I'll stay "insecure" as they call it thanks haha.

    • In my opinion, I’ve noticed that the people that are not bothered by this behavior are often partaking in the same behavior. I personally find it rude and disrespectful. I know we are human, and humans tend to notice attractive people from time to time - totally normal! However, people must also be mindful of their behavior online. I know people claim social media is “just” social media, but we have to be mindful of how our actions can be perceived (i. e., many people are denied jobs because of their social media activity - the same applies to relationships!! Be cautious of what you do!).

  • No, the relationship is about the time you spend together, not his Instagram account. A lot of people like to look up hot pics or videos online, that isn't cheating.

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    • I know it’s not cheating but he has them saved to his phone that’s why I was annoyed

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 88

  • For one: That's just weird on his end. For you, you're in a relationship, and anything that makes you uncomfortable should be something that you let him know about. Because I feel like you're already worried about it, and rightfully so. Just go ahead and bring it up, tell him that you don't like it, and if it comes to it, ask him to delete it, who knows? But you can't just let it slide if it bothers you this much, it's not healthy for you, or your relationship.

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  • He is being a guy but it's something which isn't really I would say to pass. It's inappropriate because he knows them. He is in a relationship and if it or anything grosses you out you should tell him.

    He might be still be acting out of days of his single-hood as his peers are all same. Remind me he isn't when you bring it up and it doesn't go well with you.

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  • Looking at girls on instagram doesn't mean anything. I look at a lot of girls on instagram and I have no intention of ever knowing any of them. I just like the way they look.

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    • I agree but he screenshitted certain photos of 2 girls and saved them to his phone that’s what I don’t get

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    • I’m a good or bad way?

    • Really not sure, I can't figure out why he would need to screenshot them. Unless he is saving them for later when he is alone... lol.

  • That could be the first steps on the short trip to a full blown cheat. My late wife had more guy friends than girl friends back in the days of MySpace. I found 13 pages of her talking about the night they had. I gave her 3 chances to tell me the truth. She kept lying until I handed her the pages. Then she admitted to it. So watch out and I hope that it dont come to that.

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  • If he's crushing your self esteem, you shouldn't give him the satisfaction of being with you. While it's true that everybody has wandering eyes, he didn't need to copy those photos.

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  • Be worried. I feel like guys that do that have a higher tendency to cheat because instead of enjoying the real love they have they only care about the physical experiences.

    Just tell him it makes you uncomfortable. You don't mind that he follows other girls, but screen capturing pics of one's that live nearby is like window shopping for a new girl.

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  • He probably masturbates to them. So give him pictures of you to masturbate to. Then he'll forget about those girls, especially if the pics you give him are nudes.
    I'm telling ya, it's all about horniness and wanking. Lads sometimes do things they normally wouldn't when they're horny

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    • Girl, if a guy really likes you, he wouldn’t ss other girls in bikini. He should like your personality not body, if you send him nudes, he’s just gonna like you for sexual pleasures not more than love.

    • Um no, that's just incorrect. You can love a girl sexually and her personality at the same time. And a guy could be totally in love with a girl, but he could be horny as fuck and see a sexy girl in a bikini on Instagram and screenshot it and wank to it. I'm a lad who's experienced all this first hand, you're a girl who doesn't know what she's talking about

  • This is a commen thing almost every guy on instangram fallow hot girls but it don't mean anything and no he will most likely not chat to them just like there photos. Just don't worry about and if you start having a go at him for this it would be super annoying.

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  • Don't be worried, it's not a big deal. Indeed, play along with him. I don't mean try to distract him from the screen, but encourage him. When he's doing it, be sexy in a non-distracting way (erotic touching), be physically accessible. What you would be doing would be reconditioning him very subtly. He won't even notice when he starts ignoring the images to concentrate on the real thing.

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  • Only two things are infinite.

    Human stupidity.

    And boy's (and men) desire to look at beautiful women.

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  • Yes you need to bring this to his attention. Your boobs are the only ones he should be looking at. Be sure and tell him how this makes you feel because he probably thinks he hasn't done anything wrong.

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  • he's a guy obviously hea going to look at women but as long as he isn't making out with them or having sex or in a relationship other than friends i wouldn't worry about it

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  • I bet he looks at them and jerks off. I've done it before

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    • I agree with you and we have all done it.

    • @mobligator but have you done it with girls you know of not models or porn pics and while I’m a relationship?

  • I persinally HATE vain people. There's a difference between being confident and putting effort into how you look, and posting pics nonstop on instagram. It's vain, and only shows the good parts of your life, which only accentuates what you DON'T want people to see. The more pics you send out, the more insecure you seem. I'm just saying it as it is. I have been off social media for about 3 years now. I check in once a month or so, snd it only gets worse every day. Here is my suggestion:
    Get off your phones, go outside and do something. Anything. Take a walk. If you are mor eintroverted and enjoy being inside, play some board games. We need to be settinf an example for the next generations to get off their ****ing phones and look at the amazing and beautiful world around us. To actually take a look and see the people around us...

    Can't do that from instagram...

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  • If he's dating YOU and he Screenshot ANOTHER female your age ( I assume your under 18) then that is a red flag at best

    Therese literally no explanation as to why one would do that other than the fact of saving to look at later.

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  • Instagram is just porn for most of us guys to be honest lol

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  • He probably just has purely sexual feelings towards this woman and nothing else, I think it’s quite common. Best thing to do is to tell this man how you feel, you have to be honest with how you feel about the situation

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  • If he loves you, youd be the only one he wants to look at

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  • It's social media, where you're suppose to be SOCIAL! If you can't handle your man on these sites or apps, find a guy who doesn't use them. Trust me, they're out there, you just won't find them online 😉

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    • Why does he need to screenshot photos of girls though?

    • It’s oke to be social. But I agree with @MistQueen23 that it’s not really normal to screenshot pictures of other girls when you are in a relationship.

    • The screen shots are technically his business, why he feels the need to keep pics of girls is his thing, he shouldn't be judged as a delinquent for it. Its a "thing" of his, that our anonymous friend and maybe other women, can't deal with, but there maybe other women out there that can deal with this type of behavior, and they are better suited for him.

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What Girls Said 53

  • Screen shotting the pics is weird and disrespectful to you. He can look can't stop people from doing that, but I just don't get why he has to save pics. He should be saving sexy pics of you in his phone. Id have a long talk with him and just see why he needs to do it?

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  • He is probly just looking. Don't accuse him of cheating without hard evidence.

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    • I’d never cause him oh that I never even mentioned cheating but it just made me feel very insecure

  • Ask him, tell him how you feel about t.

    I don't like his ways, I think yeah he can like his friends and so, but why watching porn or naked girls when you already have a girl in your hands who you are suppoused to be in love with?

    You can try seducing him and show him that you are way better than those instagram girls or you can go ahead and ask him if you want, however you want to play your game

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    • Guys watch porn to jerk off because men are visually stimulated when it comes to masturbating where as women can just use their imagination when they masturbate. We don't lust after the nude porn images or have any notion of ever having sex with them, its just a tool to look at while jerking off. The mind is the most powerful sex organ in the human body and imagination can greatly enhance a mans sex life. We can get horny & hard just thinking about something that turns us on & quite often might lead to masturbating to something similar on the internet.

  • If she’s not in your area, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. She may be trying to be an upcoming inst model.

    My husband follows women on Snapchat who are scantily clad (if that). It’s super soft porn. Like if he bought Maxim magazine.

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  • He doesn't seem to be happy with the way you look or he wouldn't be looking at anyone else. Could it be he is just interested in you for sex until he can get a better offer? If he is looking chances are he is also chatting, if he can.

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  • Wouldn't be too worried no. Guys are visual creatures but if it makes you uncomfy just tell him I suppose. Not sure what good it will do really but I wouldn't worry as far it let it threaten your relationship. Just tell him your take on it.

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  • He's probably just using them to enjoy himself with. Not because he wants to be with them. Like using porn but it probably works better for him because they probably look less plastic and gross as a porn star.

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  • That’s pretty shitty.
    Girl just follow a shit ton of hot guys, screenshoot some of their half naked photos and see how your boyfriend reacts.

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    • I love the get back game. Ha ha. It can be quite liberating and you'll realize that u enjoy it and he doesn't matter all that much. Or he will and you'll both accept each other humanness

  • If I were you, I would definitely ask him what the hell is going on in his phone but if you will then maybe he will think that u don't trust him so just ask him politely or create a situation that makes it easy for both of you to talk about this situation, hope this helps.

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  • Talk to him if he has screenshots of girls in bikinis that aren't his family then that isn't right, and especially if he ha a picture of another girl pushing a girls boobs up.

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    • So along as its family it's okay then?

    • @HUNGxAF Yes unless he's into incest or something, I mean its rare people jerk off to their own family. I have pictures of my brothers on the beach in trunks but I dont look at it as dirty at all.

  • I think you really shouldn't care its one of those things you should not poke at so much cause its not cheating or being disloyal or anything cause he is not talking or meeting these women inperson. I personally find this to be very minor but its your feelings and emotions that shouldn't be lacking so much. You can talk to him about it and try to merge the topic in an amusing way to keep it light :)...

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  • I say make an Instagram account where u post sexy pictures of yourself! that way he'll forge about the other girls and focus on u more. Make the account private so only people you want to see can see and if your boyfriend gets jealous talk to him about how he always follows girls like that so your just trying to be like them

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  • I've said no, but if it bothers you that much you need to talk to him. Don't go all psycho on him though😂

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  • He would be instagone

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  • He has cheating tendencies.. bringing this up will likely end in a fight.
    You could casually ask him to stop following so many girls on Instagram, but my guess is he’ll laugh it off and dismiss your concerns.

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  • Normally if it was models or women he didn't know I would say let him be. It's like porn to some guys. But if he knows these girls that's crossing the line and I would say something to him.

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  • He's probably just using them to beat off with but nevertheless, if it's making you feel like shit then speak up about it. Because he's not just looking at them, he's saving them.

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  • people will say no. i "get it". amateur porn is the new porn. here's my story...

    my ex husband was into amatuer. i thought no nig deal, I'm better looking. im an artist so never had an issue with playboy or the likes. he liked it for its voyeuristic aspect. he was into spying on people. i didn't know untill long into our marriage it qas because he liked spying. it was a ptsd thing. he could get away spying. started just strangers. then he started taking hidden videos of my sister getting into my shower. then turned into him taking pics from our 3rd floor of 13 yr old neighbors bending over in their backyards.

    this is unacceptable. porn is ok, SHARED, as foreplay. when ever it becomes hidden it is an illness. talk to him. if he keeps it hidden, dump his ass now!!! do not turn back. if he is open with sharing, share it. it can be a fun foreplay. one is an illness, the other is a fetish. do not confuse the two.

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  • No!

    Telling him won’t really get him to change, instead I’d recommend you to simply leave!

    Find someone that already respects you, not someone you need to teach how to respect you.

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  • Depends, if u two r trying to spend time together and he has his face in that. It's become an addiction and maybe he could take a couple hours off

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    • We can become addicted to viewing nudes or erotic images while masturbating, it's called "Classical Conditioning" in psychology but most guys start doing this at about age 12 or 13 and its a very hard addiction to over come , i. e. if a guy wants to break the habit/addiction. Its hard because sex is a natural function of the human body unlike taking some type of a drug. Men just like to view erotica while masturbating, we're visual creatures when it come to this.
      Psychologists now use the term "Maladaptive Behavior" instead of Abnormal Behavior or Sex and it becomes maladaptive when it interferes with a persons ordinary or normal way of living, e. g. A man spends too much time viewing porn & masturbating and doesn't give enough time satisfying his wife or maybe it even interferes with his work/occupation.

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