Why do married American women grow to hate their husbands with such a passion for hate, even Husband is nice.

I was married for 19 years and for many of those years I was hated and had a miserable life with my then wife. I waited for years for things to change and have love and romance, but it was all in vain.

It grew worse and worse each year, her dislike for me.

After the divorce then, I realized how much she hates me, even to this day.

I am not a abuser and I had very good employment. It happen to other guys I work with to, the wife just hates them and the space they take up on this planet.

Why Christian women can have such a hate for husband

I have 2 grown sons, she is American and I am AmericanAfter the first year sex become less and less, and she started coming homelater and laterunkind words become the normal in houseI thought of divorce for years, but the Bible says no.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I'll assume that you saying "American women" that you aren't American? I was reading stuff a few months back on why men (usually those who are able to travel) are starting to prefer European women over our native American women. It's a very interesting topic, I'd suggest reading into it if the topic interests you.

    Basically what a lot of men are discovering is that our lack of culture outside of our media driven culture is turning a lot of American women into dull and mass produced "things", rather than interesting people. I noticed this pattern between what a lot of men who have experienced both types of women have said. Mainly Europeans seem to have a rich sense of culture and certain amount of tradition that they are raised with. They had different lifestyles than women in America, which these men said was a refreshing change to what they have always experienced.

    I've also looked up what women thought about this. There wasn't too much on the topic from women's perspective, but it was a 25/75 split. The 25 said that they were actually impressed and somewhat envious of their European counterparts. The other 75 however basically gave the same response, "Keep it in America." I guess they don't have any arguments to counter the European women "taking their men", which might show something.

    So if this stuff relates to your question, then I'd suggest looking into it more. I can't say one way or the other since I've never dated a European woman, but I'd like to.

    • I am now looking at Asian ladies, they seem to still value a man. either China or Philippines the ladies seem to still show kindness and understanding and place value on the relationship and its not all about them. Its well know where I live Married women grow to hate the husband and do all they can to make life miserable for her man...

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    • 1) I never said there weren't exceptions, even very large exceptions.

      2) I didn't intend for this answer to turn against American women, only to provide food for the QA's thought, so that he might arrive at his own conclusion (or even find an interesting subject to read up on)

      3) Let's assume for a second that I did generalize. Do you think generalizations aren't useful? You'd be wrong.

    • I'm not getting hostile by saying this, but I don't need to prove to you or anyone else that I do or don't generalize. I understand you disagree with what I said, but I'm not putting it up for debate. At the most, it could be used to learn a pattern in cultures.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Where are you from?

  • Why does she hate you?

    I'm a Christian women from the United States. Not originally ofcourse, but not all women are like that. You can't always generalize that way.

    • For us many guys it has happen to we find ourself making this general comment and its very true here in the Midwest. Us guys would just like to know what happens to make a Christian women so full of hate, and bitterness to a normal guy. I did not realize the depth of her hate until after the divorce. I ask this to so guys will know if wife says no more love or sex, get out of that relationship, it will not get better..

    • it has to be a communication problem. I am married too, and my husband and I have fights. But we talk, and it's like... you have to change this and that or what do I have to change? stuff like that. You need to talk it out and try to make one another happy and if one is not happy then that person should have voiced their displeasure. You guys probably had a misunderstanding. But I guess it maybe too late since you are divorced now, but did you KNOW why she hated you?

    • I can generalize like this, its true, I was watching Dr Oz last week and He said that 40% of American women do not want sex or romance, and only 12% or those are willing to seek help. So one problem is many American women are not having desire for romance or sex, and are not interested in getting help. so that tells me most American women could care less about the guys desires and needs in a relationship.

What Guys Said 3

  • -Why did/does she hate you? How did it show? Did she ever say it?

    -How long did you date before marrying?

    -Do you have kids?

    • She is American and I am American

      It started to show after the 1st year of marriage

      This has happen to several guys in my work group

      She became disagreeable some

      and become harder and harder to make decisions with her

      she became distant and more distant as the years rolled on

      she had romance less and less until about the 2nd year there

      was no romance hardly at all, if I begged for awhile I might get lucky

      finally she said nothing no more Romance .

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    • I don't think being Christian or Muslim or atheist does make a difference either

    • What are her griefs? Is she under the influence of her family or under the ifluence of a sect?

  • maybe she just hated being married and took it out on you. Women don't need to rely on marriage or men anymore. maybe she would prefer to be an independent person in a relationship. I guess some people don't find this out until they get married. I'm English and to be honest its no different over here.

    • I was watching Dr Oz on TV last week, and He said 40 percent of women do not desire or want sex, and 12 percent of them only would seek help, (key would seek help) So there is a lack of desire in a lot of women, I think that helps to explain the many ladies who are online that just tease guys, they enjoy the attention and that is all they seek is attention. Maybe younger girls still desire sex and love, but something happens after marriage or even in a relationship.

  • Really, you stayed for 19 years why? Did you look at your behavior at all during this time? Sometimes as men, we don't listen to what our significant other is telling us which then turns into anger. I've been there but we loved each other enough to work it out. I'm not saying only men don't listen, sometimes women don't either. So before you put all the blame on her, maybe take a good look at yourself and see what you could have done better. You can go the MOB route, however, enter at your own risk, do research and take your time. Just because the woman is from another country does not mean anything will be different if you're not willing to look at your flaws as well and fix them. Remember, it takes 2 people to make it work or ruin it so I find it very hard to believe that only she was at fault here. And to be quite honest, you do not speak as though you are from the USA.

    • Yes it takes 2, I tried counseling, we get home and she said she was not going to do none of it, the suggestions the counselor make, trust me I have relived this marriage many times the past few years, wondering what it was about me that she hate so much, My Aunt give me answer said I just was not the guy for her, and she hated the fact she married me and so hated me. But as a Christian, she not even show any kind of understanding or kindness to me, I do not understand Chirstian Full of hate

    • I on't think that being Christian or Muslim or atheist or Buddhist does make a difference in this. It's communication between people that makes the diference. You tell us what your griefs are but don't tell us what her griefs are. What are her griefs towards you? About what does she complain? Is it justified?

    • I am in the USA, I just watched Dr Oz last week and he said 40 percent of women do not want sex, and only 12 percent would seek help...key would seek help...so if a women does not desire sex, she does not desire romance and cares less about her mans needs. This has happen to several guys I know, its not something made up. I try to go to counseling with her, but she refused to meet me half way or even a quarter way. I had my faults all people have faults, but, I have no vices.