Girls, I am a feminist and my boyfriend comes from a macho culture, what do I do?


(warning: if you are a man who is triggered by the word ' feminism', do everybody a favor and go pollute another thread - I've heard 4chan is full of oppressed white males who will sympathize with your plight, maybe try to go there instead.)

So we've been dating for 1 year and I love him so much. He comes from a Latin country and has internalized a lot of macho values. At first glance, it's not too extreme: he's pro choice, agrees women are entitled to equal pay aso. But over time, little things kept piling up and it's starting to get on my nerves.

1) he's jealous. If I go out with my friends (we have a long distance relationship and I do a lot of activities without him) he will get upset if any boy was present, or ask me "why I feel the need to go party" when he has plenty of drinks with 'the guys'. If a guy approaches me, he assumes something in MY behavior has triggered it.

2) he has a strong opinion on what a woman should act/look like. I am more on the tomboy side, and he never fails to police me. He would say things like 'Why do you have to sit with your legs open?' 'I like it when a woman wears perfume and makeup' (I almost never wear those) or 'why do you wear these horrible pants'... He keeps repeating this and it makes me feel so bad about myself.

I confronted him, but he thinks I'm nagging him, when he's the one pointing out all of the ways I don't fit into his stereotype.

3) he tries to control the way I dress to prevent guys from looking at me. I don't wear bras and he requested several times that I put one on because 'people can see your breasts and that's indecent'. I pointed out that many men run bare chested and no one is offended, and that the shape of my natural breasts should not be a problem, but his reply was that ' it will incite other men to look at you'.

It's becoming a reoccurring issue. He says something that upsets me, I explain why I don't like it, and he just sighs ' here we go again '.

What should I do?
Girls, I am a feminist and my boyfriend comes from a macho culture, what do I do?
Add Opinion