Has a guy ever made you feel bad for being easygoing?

Exibit a;

You go on a first date, and the guy asks if you want to sleep over at his place (you politely decline.) The next day he tells you he's happy you didn't stay over because he might have tried to go further then just kissing, and that it was more out of hospitality. (You say you are slow in these things) and he compliments you for holding back.

(True story, happend to me)

Exibit b;

A guy offers to walk with you at night to your neighbourhood (not home.) Then he proceeds to tell you that you're reckless, and that i should be more careful. (True story happend to me.)

Bottomline, why do some guys do this? It really feels like they are just testing how easy you are. It makes me trust them less and less. I have more examples but ill keep it short, any other guys and girls that this happend to?


Most Helpful Guy

  • In exibit a:
    What most likely happened is that it was indeed just a nice offer, but in hind site he realized what he might have done when tempted in such a situation. He then said that your choice was the right one to assure you that you should change.

    In exibit b:
    I will almost always bring a girl to the train or her home when its dark out, both for safety as for manners. But me and my friends know that i have the right intentions, but if somebody just met me they just guessed. He most likely had the right intentions, but afterwards warned you that you should just go with any guy (since you dont know there intentions). If he had said this upfront he would have possibly scared you away. Though i have to admit that there formulations were verry confusing and unclear.

    All in all, most guys know what guys (including them selves) are capable of and some will warn you. In exibit a it was a warning over themselves in hind site, in exibit b it was more in general.

    I hope this helpes you

    • Thanks it really does help! It was weird I've seen that guy only ones and we talked beforehand in the second bus, yes it was winter, yes it was dark, but he just put me down for trusting him, while he offered it to me. which was just weird ahahha

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    • Hahaha plenty of times hahaha..

    • That's rough, but the right thing often is

Most Helpful Girl

  • Itโ€™s never happened to me. I really hate this testing thing though, I think itโ€™s bs. Iโ€™ve never deliberately done anything to test a guy.

    • Me neither.., i hate it too, I've heard some girls say they test guys just to see if they care about them.

      Theyll say things like *yeah i have a date* while in reality they don't...

      In my mind, if you are that insecure, he or she is probably not the one. If you ask these quistions you usually already have the anwser. I basically lost all interest in the guy in situation a ๐Ÿ˜‚

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What Guys Said 8

  • YES !!! .. I had a (friend zone) lady do me that way for year. .. She would spend the ENTIRE day with me nearly daily (no job at the time) we would hang out , she would Flirt heavy where (nice) revealing outfits . When when i was be like. SO wanna date (not the words I used) . No i think of you more as a friend.. Grrrrr. then WHY ARE YOU taunting me Im not a raid boss.. You definitely have my attention.. Of course when i would show my attention to another young lady , SHE NEW when she would let down her hair I thought she was the most pretty girl ever. and she would bait me back in... Finally... I just Say... while she was laying with me on my bed.. I said WE are about to fuck.. i put my hand down her pants and sure enough.. She said FINALLY... I was so confused... still am

    • Sounds close to what i experienced, the guy in situation a was trying to feel me up, and trying to get me horny.

      He then texted me the next day he was happy I didn't sleep over, because he still thought of his ex...

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    • Its like they chicken out or something๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Thats a good way of looking at it...๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

  • Huh well okay then if u don't accept positive advice what do u like is it negative advice also do u like it ruff like dp or gb or BBC cause ur on ur way angel

    • Say again to clarify because im not sure what you mean

  • Yeah because if a girl is easy than guys don't wanna date them. It's kinda stupid because girls adapt their "sluttiness" depending on how the date went. So for example, of a girl went on a date with an attractive guy but she didn't see a future with him she'll just have sex with him right away... but if the guy was attractive and she saw a future with him she would hold back as she didn't wanna seem too easy.

    In short, girls deceive guys to give off a good image when really they aren't so good. Make sense?

    • It defineatly makes sense!

      That said, I think, it's really dumb to test someone. Think about it;

      If you are that insecure about someone he/she probably isn't the one.

      If you have to ask yourself all these quistions you already have the anwser.

      As for the analogy i don't really recgonize myself in it. I absolutely have to romantically like someone in order for me to think about them sexually. I can't really split these two emotions, so i really wouldn't know๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Buy a pistol.

    • Hahahaha if only i didn't live in the Netherlands ๐Ÿ˜”

  • Interested arenโ€™t we ๐Ÿ˜›

    • Hahaa in?

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    • Sooo you're saying the guy just wants sex?

    • I gotta tell you, it kinda backfired he was talking about how he kissed me to see if he was over his ex or not, ๐Ÿ˜‚ sooo yeah no i lost all interest

  • A girl does that with me

    • Owh shit, its so shitty huh

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    • Haahha well no one said it was easy, you could be asking what you want to do with it, confront her and put effort into it? Or ignore it and move on..,

  • Because they know what no means and respekt women

    • Uhmmm sure they do, but that wasn't the quistion๐Ÿ˜‚

    • weeeees rekpekt womoan

    • Respekkk to wahmen๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • You'd have to ask them, I have no idea as I'd never do this lol. I think you need to find different types of guys :-P

    • Damn i guess you're right, hahahaha if only,

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    • I was hoping you guys would know, ๐Ÿ˜‚

    • But im glad to know I ain't the only one ๐Ÿ˜‚

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