Why don’t guys like to express how they feel?


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Most Helpful Guys

  • 1. Men learn at a very young age that they are to be strong and tough and to "suck it up" and not whine about their woes.

    2. Men are not used to being vulnerable - really ever - and sharing our feelings makes us vulnerable, and that's scary and too often is used against us - if not immediately, then later.

    3. Nothing dries up a vagina like a whiny man.

    Men have to have a tremendous amount of trust in a woman (almost always one single woman) in order to share his deep emotions, and she has to earn that trust over time. And many women simply aren't trustworthy, and others who might be don't invest the time and effort necessary to build that trust.

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  • "Because no one cares about how men feel and it's girly to feel". When you grow up as male and you have the past generations basically telling you to man up if you get hurt and start to cry, to hold in the tears, to be tough... it really beats down a lot of men and they grow up emotionally reserved. I wasn't like that growing up. I was naturally emotionally reserved. I've always relied on reasoning because my emotions have gotten me into trouble more so than help me. I also repress them so I've never truly understood my emotions or feelings so it's hard to express something you don't comprehend.

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    • We even get it from women..."suck it up" they often say when we express anything. Or worse, they simply laugh! When we are being dead serious.

    • And then other women wonder why we don't express them. Just take a look at the world and watch quietly. It reveals all of itself eventually.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Because, for one, some people call them pussies for doing so, and secondly, because unlike women in this day in age, it isn't as encouraged or supported by society by means of social/political correctness and resources.

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What Guys Said 39

  • This is a very good question and deserves a good answer, but it will take time to explain.

    Something you need to understand is that males at a deeply instinctive level know a fundamental fact about the world:

    Information about you that others have = power those others have against you.

    It is that instinct which isn't even conscious in us that is the same reason why we are quiet and don't take much nor text much nor initiate conversation/texts.

    It is important to understand why we have this instinct and it explains traditional gender roles...

    As a social species that eventually would live in villages and such, females would stay home with the kids and do what is necessary keeping the community functional. This is one reason why females are more gregarious and social than we are and have a stronger sense of hearing regarding certain sounds like babies crying. However, males usually left the community to do two things:
    1. Kill predators - threats to the community.
    2. Kill prey to eat.

    Now, if males are quiet, then:
    1. They are more likely to be able to sneak up on predators or prey to kill them.
    2. They are less likely to be detected by and eaten by predators. Especially, if a male is injured because crying out from injury alerts the predator who then targets you. (This is a very deep instinct which is the same reason dogs do not alert us of pain they may have.)

    The talkative males get killed and don't reproduce. The quiet males live and reproduce. Thus, over time, males are evolved to be quiet.

    But there's another kind of predator and that is other humans - especially competing males. To a man, if he admits things about himself, that may be used by other men (or women) to bring about his downfall. Furthermore, even if a man trusts his woman, often, at an instinctive level, he does not - not that he thinks she is evil, but he understands that females are more gregarious than we are, so if he admits things to her that he does not want anyone else to know, he runs the risk that she may inadvertently communicate that to others and that information will ultimately get to enemy males.

    Understand?

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    • Yes, this is perfect!

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    • @AdriaticScarcrow
      It's all evolution and something called "emergent behavior".

    • Men are supposed to be cavemen, we’re not supposed to adapt to modern society. We were meant to be wild and free, not in captivity.

  • beacause men aren't supposed to show emotion... its just how a man is. now yes there are plenty of emotinal men, some just dont... i sometimes dont and my girlfriend wonders why... and i break down and cry and sometimes she wonders why... its hard for a man to show emotion sometimes. hope this helps ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡ )

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  • We get judged. That's why it is said that it takes courage for a man to express his feelings because not only does society look down on it, the opposite sex tends to also.

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  • Why express how you feel when you get ignored or cold shouldered?
    Not too many people care about guys feelings.
    Which is why I choose to be emotionless.(No love, No hate, just nothing)

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  • Because when they do they get mocked. Society teaches guys to bottle up their feelings and emotions from a young age so by the time they're 13 it becomes an instinct, and a guy who does express how he feels gets labeled as a weak whiner and drives a lot of women away because it's not seen as attractive.

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  • You'll learn this once you're older but some women feed off the emotions of men who express themselves and take advantage of it for their own gain.

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  • In my case I have no fear of communicating my more vulnerable thoughts (feelings, i. e.) to someone. It's fine.

    I still don't do it that often though because the more mature I've become, the less "emotional" kind of thoughts I tend to have. By that I mean negative, counter-productive kinds of thoughts on life, stress, etc.

    I don't have a hard day at work and come home thinking emotional, negative, counter-productive things like, "My life is shit, I hate my job, this is all bullshit, I just wanna die!" I genuinely don't think like that these days which is why I barely ever complain about anything. I think more like, "Phew, that was a tough day today. Let's have a beer and have some fun!"

    So these days I just don't have that much in terms of what people call "emotional" to complain and vent about beyond like how happy I am at the moment or some funny joke I just thought up.

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    • When I most communicate my deeper thoughts and feelings on anything these days is usually when people around me are upset. If someone I care about like a good friend is upset, I'll try to share a more deep and vulnerable point of view I have to him/her in order to kind of see if that helps them to cheer up and also just share things about me that might be useful somehow in building a stronger bond and mutual understanding.

      I've also found it a useful way to deescalate conflicts, like I share my thoughts and feelings on something with the hope that someone else does the same. If they do the same then we come to a good understanding of each other, and with that understanding we can usually work something out that makes us both very happy.

  • Because its stupid, and whenever i do i regret it a lot

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    • well i came across to people like that more than 50 times im damn sure and im tired of it now, so its better to keep it all inside me

  • Because people don't understand guys feelings, even if you're open with things people don't know how to take it making it just awkward and detrimental. It's not hard to get guys who are closed of to speak. Not much but enough to understand.

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  • As soon as we do, we're labeled as weak by both men and women. I used to have someone I could confide in, but when I told them I was depressed, they basically told me to get over it. Now I confide in no one.

    I am absolutely certain that the person I once confided in would have treated me with much more care if I were a woman.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Some guys do. I am lucky enough to be with the one.

    by the way, as they get older, they mature. Although some never do lol.

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  • Although moreso when they’re young, guys are afraid of opening up and being rejected for it.

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  • Deep down inside he's gay.

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