My stepson is distancing himself from me after turning 13. Did I do anything wrong?

Me and my stepson used to have very good relationship. We used to laugh and spend fun time together but, since he turned 13 he started to distance himself from me. He spends more time alone and whenever I try to ask him what's wrong he says that there is nothing and he only need time alone.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Boys that age are changing rapidly, so it probably has to do with him entering puberty rather than anything to do with you.

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    • 3d

      I just miss our old days together and now it's like we're strangers living at same home.

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    • 2d

      He means a lot to me.

    • 1d

      Just let him know you're there for him when he's ready to hang out.

      Thanks for the MHO

  • Wow, so many of these answers are way out to lunch. That's crazy, but yeah... he's just going through the changes and growing up, he'll come around in time.. everyone goes through puberty in different ways.
    Just always be the cool step mom who loves him.

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    • 2d

      Of course I love him and I'll be always there for him. I'm worried about him that's all.

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 18

  • No he is a teen, teens do this stuff. He will likely distance himself for a while and then randomly come back like nothing happened. Still though, keep and eye on it because it could be the signs of something more serious going on with him.

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    • 3d

      Oh my god something serious like?

    • 3d

      Maybe he is being bullied or maybe he has reached out to a girl and got rejected? It could just be as simple as hormones and messing his head around a bit. It could be a lot of thing.

  • Sounds like puberty to me. Just give him an occasional reminder that you are always there for him and I’m sure everything will be fine.

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  • He's probably attracted to you and doesn't know how to handle it.

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    • 3d

      Why do you think that?

    • 3d

      He's 13, his hormones are going to be putting crazy thoughts in his head. Most young males around that age will focus on other female figures such as family friends, teachers, celebrities, etc, but when you have a young woman in your home who isn't related to you, then that's just the most likely place his head will go.
      If it were me, and I were his age, I'd feel uncomfortable around you at times. I'd be aware of the thoughts going through my head and I'd feel embarrassed by them. The best solution would be to avoid you.

      I mean that might not be the reason at all. I just remember how my brain was all over the place at that age.

  • Hormones kicked in, he's going through puberty and he's maturing.

    Now in order to address the matter he's isolating himself from you; I guess he knows you're not his real mom and if it's indeed you in the picture, he MIGHT (MIGHT, not necessarily DOES) began to view you sexually -- after all you look very good on your profile's photo. I get that you don't want to think about it, but already some other folk (Cammy137's response by far is the most perfect one and I absolutely agree that when hormones arrive, they put absolutely crazy ideas and thoughts in boy's head, been there myself) in comments said pretty much the same thing, so give it a thought.

    And since he's only 13, he doesn't know how to handle it, thus he resorts to the "out of sight, out of mind" method.

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    • 2d

      Reading this hurts. I hope it doesn't turn to something like that

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    • 2d

      I don't see why it would be a bad thing. Back when I was 13, about quarter of my classmates (myself included) had a girlfriend/boyfriend. My niece (who's 16 now) got a first boyfriend when she was 14.

      I guess it depends on country/culture, but I don't see anything wrong about it.

    • 2d

      I think I'm being overprotective and I should that.

  • He's a teenage boy. Those things happen. I was the same. I started distancing myself with my parents around that age.

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    • 2d

      Then what happened?

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    • 2d

      Thank you so much for sharing.

    • 2d

      No problem. Just don't push the interactions, simply show support and that you're there for him. If he doesn't open up or get close, that's fine, as long as you're there when he's ready.
      Patience is crucial.

      Good luck

  • Either he got a girlfriend or u might have turned hot for him..

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  • He knows you are not related to him..
    You do not share same pheromones as him since you are genetically different..
    Hence your pheromones are capable of turning him on..
    Since his puberty is kicking in he is becoming receptive to your female pheromones..
    Just maintain your distance with him now..
    Because you getting closer to him means him getting unwanted Erections up to 10 times everyday..
    I know this because I spent my teenage years sitting in class filled with girl's.. And controlling my Erections..
    He does not understands what is going on either...
    He just knows he needs to Stay away from you...
    He biologically doesn't needs a mom anymore..
    Just take of his stuff like laundry and food etc for him.. If you want to.. Give him space.. And maybe help him.. Get the girl he likes in the school.. 🤘🤣

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    • 3d

      Does this mean he is going to be like this for a long time?

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    • 3d

      There are a 1000 things I can guide you on..
      I was a teenager boy for the last decade of my like.. But only in PM.. Don't want snide comments from this platform

      Nothing personal just rule to solve this jigsaw you are facing with him..

    • 3d

      Thank you so much. I'd really appreciate your help.

  • No, he's 13. He's going through that difficult "asshole" phase.

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  • Um, he's 13! Let the boy play games and etc. Sounds much easier than a stepdaughter..

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    • 3d

      This is all new to me that's why I don't know how to deal with it.

  • He is growing up puberty and hormones. Give him his space. But keep talking and trying.

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  • I think its just his interest changing, I see that some people think he might be attracted to you which, I mean you are pretty young, do you think you've been in his life long enough and been a motherly figure to the point where his mind wouldn't cross that line, because let's say you been in his life 2 or 3 years, that's less like a blood mother and mor like a hot babysitter, I mean biologically speaking you can't really be his mom, not to say your not a great mother, but I'm just saying the age barrier isn't big enough to be a factor so its all about your relationship,

    I hope he doesn't think sexually about you but he might, only thing is I don't see why that would make him more distant if anything it would make him wanna be closer to you, he's probably just getting into new things, girls, games, making new friends, sit him down and talk to him

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    • 2d

      Everyone needs to stop telling me that he is attracted to me because I'm sure there's nothing like that. Because I'm this young doesn't mean things like this will happen.

    • 2d

      im just exploring it, i dont think thats it either, like i said if that was the case that wouldn't make him distant,

  • More alone time? He probably discovered the joys of masturbation.

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  • He has a crush

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    • 2d

      Why everyone is telling me that? It never crossed my mind and I will never think of such things.

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    • 2d

      Read the other's comments. It's annoying. this question about trying to understand his behavior more since it's something new to me. I didn't ask if he is attracted to me or not because I know this can't happen.

    • 2d

      O im sorry just blokk them there being nasty assholes

  • Normal teenage behaviour.

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    • 2d

      When will it stop?

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    • 2d

      Oh my god this is a long time.

    • 2d

      It can be. That is one of the problems of being a step parent, you don't hold the same status as the real parent. The best way foreward is not to push your views upon him, but just be there when he needs support.

  • He's 13 and want to be alone

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  • You were 13 once. You already know the answer

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    • 2d

      When I was 13 I went through rough days and I rather not talk about it. I don't have kids on my own yet and all my brothers are older than me. This is the first time I experience this thing and I want to understand what's on his mind more to be there with him but he is not helping me by distancing himself.

    • 2d

      The similarity is, he'd rather not talk about it either

  • he is experiencing puberty

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  • No he's a male that's very normal.

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