Does this guy hate me? Why does he treats me differently when we're alone?

A coworker I see only 4-6x out of the year, was at a holiday party where we didn't speak to each other. He was there first, but I didn't acknowledge him because I've found something odd about his behavior towards me over the past few months. Towards the end of the night as everyone was getting ready to leave I guess he noticed I looked bit tipsy and offered to take the train with me. Again, we barely interact in person and he doesn't live on my line. He later says he'll pay for a cab for me to go home and was very insistent about wanting to use his money to pay. He never asked if I could pay and I was mentally planning to take a cab anyway as it's late. Someone else we both know ran into us and paid. I also noticed that he randomly started calling me, "My Dear". The next day he sends me a message saying, "glad you got home safe'. You played the piano beautifully last night!" I thanked him and responded to the piano comment humbly.

2-3 Weeks later his friend, who I see often, and him stop by. I noticed he decided to stay in the doorway. I then told him "Happy New Year" from where he was and he acted like he did not want to respond back, he turned away, and then moved behind the wall. He seemed fidgety and acted like he didn't want to be around. Later on I saw him walking in the hallway alone and he started looking at my face in a serious way as we walked past each other. The person will speak to me in a very polite way in front of other people, but when I'm alone with him he talks to me in a stern way. He'll write all eloquently and polite and say "Good Morning", "Enjoy" and "Thank you" in writing and in person in front of others. I couldn't have a normal conversation with him so I stopped being "nice" which in my definition of not smiling and only saying hi in passing and only walking by. Why give me compliments and next time I see you look at me or treat me funny. Why keep saying stuff you don't mean?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'd have to agree with the other comment I think the guy likes you he will be fine on his own but when friends come over or are around him he'll try not to show much emotion because guys can be strange when it comes to their friends being in relationships

    • Hmm... interesting point. I don't know why I didn't think of that before. Looking back he use to separate himself from his friend to talk to me alone sometimes in my office. When his friend is around he would become very quiet and distance. I would have to think of different instances. However, he was telling two other guests at the party that were just visiting that I was the playing and openly told them I play beautifully. I found it strange he didn't tell me to my face while at the party. He did come around, watched and then walked away.

    • Yeah usually that means from my experience anyway is that he kinda wants to show you off but some friends again from personal experience are just assholes about this kinda thing

  • He likes you

    • I'm not seeing where he likes me. How does acting that way towards me help him?

What Girls Said 1

  • Well you obviously liked him if these small details are so important to you...
    You should ask him, not us.

    • These "small details" become very obvious when the person consistently does it. You would notice too if someone is very polite to you when other people are around and in private talks to you in an authoritative/ stern tone that makes you uncomfortable. Dude even came in once sat in a chair right across from me mansplaining in my direction. He has even switched seats at meeting we went to once and sat RIGHT next to me. He was originally sitting somewhere else until I came into the room.

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