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When you feel strong enough to confront him about it. Very often cheaters will react to this confrontation with hostility. They will try to convince you that it's not their fault or that it's even your own fault...So again - whenever you will feel ready to do so :)
That is something that really surprised me. A couple I knew and was friends with both people went through that. The wife confronted the husband. He denied it at first then threw it back on her about how she was this way and he didn't want a wife like her any more. Then came it is all in your mind and some really creative lies. I think he got confused after awhile. I was so surprised because he had always been such a straight arrow and careful man.
@sejla Cheating is a difficult situation. The irony is, that this subject is easy to understand for the one that is being cheated... For them, it's all black and white. "He cheated on me, he's a bastard". But for the other side, it's usually much more complicated. Why did he start to cheat in the first place? Why with that girl in particular? Did he initiate the cheating or was he seduced by other woman and just fell for it? On the other side of cheating it's not so black and white.I'm not trying to defend the guy, don't get me wrong ;)
On thing is he started hanging out with a wealthy family member. Super wealthy and this man liked to travel to nice places without his wife and kids. This was something totally foreign to the husband as he was always careful with money. His wife was content to stay home so she told him go with him if you want. I think she was wilder when she was young but was going through a relaxed period. She noticed him starting to change. They had broken up 3 years before that after almost 30 years of marriage but when they got back together they seemed to be doing really well. They both had changed for the better. I really do think being around that other male friend sort did their marriage in faster. The man was kind of one of those men who collected other men to go have fun with without any thought of them being married. He tried to pull another male friend in from the group and the wife told her husband you go with him and I'll leave you. I do think there was his side to the story but both of his adult children have no contact with him any more.
@sejla Complicated situation indeed... So they already broke up about it?
They broke up about 3 years ago. He since remarried and had a child which is kind of wild since he is in his 50s. Not the original woman but another one. I'm sure his family back home influenced him a bit too.
@sejla Hey, just because you're in your 50s doesn't mean you can't do anything in bed ;)And that goes for both genders!
I've already confronted him on several occasions, just took my phone and deleted everything. I have back ups, but he acts like he's not doing anything wrong and its my fault he's doing what he's doing, i never cheated, had private messages or phone calls. I was the one doing everything right but he was the infidel
Of course, that is true. Supposedly according to his wife he has some kind of problem that she was patient with. My daughter just thinks it is silly that he started all over again but she says the boy is smart and sweet so I guess it worked out well. To be honest it was probably for the best. It is just too bad people can't just say I think I'm done now. I do believe there is no end date on sex. It should be something we do until we pass or are no longer physically able.
Look, I think you need to focus on the fact that YOU feel hurt by him. You don't need proof, you don't need phone or anything for it. Just focus on that message - You hurt me!If he still cares about you, this will get to him sooner or later. It may not get to him right away. But it will sink in like a poison. IF he still cares :/
He says he does but actions speak louder than words
gaslighting you most likely. I was watching a korean drama during the period of time when my friend was caught cheating. Who ever wrote that drama about a spouse cheating must have seen someone do it. Every time I would watch an episode about the cheating husband my friend's husband would do the same thing. It was crazy to watch. If you really think he is guilty. Decide what you want to do. There is really no reason to stay with him if you really think he is cheating not you having an issues of some kind. Just move on to someone who thinks you are as great as chocolate cake.
@sejla Good attitude! Just make sure you won't be hurting some third parties during your fun in bed like some other guys...
LIsten to harvest. He is on point with his advice. also, not everyone is willing to forgive and let go. I have a very close friend who told me her husband cheated on time but he told her did it I believe. They survived. He was upset about a misunderstanding and to be honest his biological family is a mess. It's surprising he turned out to be a pretty good person. It worked because he became a transparent caring husband. You don't have to forgive him and you can leave the relationship.
I'm single, I'm a hard core monogamist, not a casual person and I try to inflict the least amount of pain on the opposite sex. I"m pretty much vanilla and ok with that.
I like both opinions. 3rd party is helping me through my mess and im helping him in his, giving n taking the advice we give one another. Everything helps but why is it so hard to let go. I know i have to leave this toxicity, for myself sanity and my family. But leaving, he has a grip on me i can't explain. A dominance that scares me, im afraid to leave but i know i have to get out before im rocking the orange jumpsuit
It is hard to leave. I had to leave a marriage for other reasons. You will feel a put to stay but think about is this person someone who will take care of you if you get sick or if you have issues when you are old or are you going to be tied to someone who is selfish leaving you married but having you to fend for yourself. Eventually that pull will weaken and what he does after you leave will make you fall out of love with him.
He takes off for days at a time ir on his phone when I get sick, i take care of myself and everything else. He gets taken care of when he's sick. I give and give, im not giving anymore, i don't have anything left to give.
Then you have your answer. it doesn't matter if he cheated or not because either way you won't be happy.
I would think as soon as one has the information unless waiting gives the non cheating person needs time to get their finances in a good place if they know they will be getting a divorce or have to leave a living space.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-KGfp2aTnHs&t=119sThis is the way to do it.
As soon as you get the proof you confront that cheater the next time you see him face to face and show him the proof and it doesn't matter if you had him investigated you have the right to because he's cheating on you
One to one in private no female emotions.The moment you show female emotions. He wins.
Hard to do when I care more. We're both in separate states.
well female emotions will make you lose.then thats the tricky part
In person its hard to talk to him, he gets aggravated faster, so when i write it down or on the phone im capable of telling him what its like. But one on one is where the showing of emotions and feelings come out to play
If you can't talk to him without him reacting then you aren't in a healthy relationship
As soon as you are 100% sure of all the facts!
As soon as you're sure about the cheating.
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