Why exactly do good guys finish last?

Question

i feel that a lot of times, good guys are some of the more emotionally mature people out there, a lot of times they're aren't followers of the crowd necessarily, they typically want to find love and a commitment more so than just get laid. some good guys are better looking than some bad boys that get girls after them all the time. some are more socially developed, like how a guy will confidently and effortlessly have an intelligent conversation with someone, while another guy might just totally blow someone off, or ignore them or barely even look them in the eye. I've seen a few thuggish or just ratty guys, that tend to be real "lady's men" totally blow off somebody in a rude, immature fashion. some have even had girls on their arm, right at that time. real attractive let me tell you. lol

i mean, in just observing people and dating trends in general, none of it really makes sense. a guy can have confidence, and be a good guy, and have a future ahead of him and have a lot going for him, and yet, he will have a hard time with women, then you find a guy that lacks that certain "class" this other guy has in public, and many times he's with a girl, or something. and I mean, you see a lot of ratty guys with girls in college and high school anyway.

there seems to be something missing, something beyond all the dating advice and whatnot... if you get what I'm saying. why exactly do good guys have such troubles with "attracting" a female? a lot of times, I don't see why they're not the most attractive guys out there to begin with. they actually look like they're going places in life, so what keeps the ladies away?

Updates:

+1 y

...not to mention socially mature as well. (good guys). many are family oriented and non-partying types, or would prefer to not party, but still like to have fun in a non-superficial sense.

+1 y

...they uphold a higher sense of integrity and morale as well. yet the ladies... steer clear.

+1 y

my bad, I sorta said social maturity twice... unnecessary update lol

Answer 1

Anonymous

i disagree. being a "good guy" does not mean you are mature at all. and technically they are still following old fashioned morals and norms. the bad boys are rebelling and indulging in a new way of being. they set their own rules and do as they please, they enjoy life, they give off confidence, etc. there's more than just one type in each umbrella category too by the way.

a lot of good guys have horrible social skills, no confidence, can't really communicate well with women, etc. some of them are not physically attractive at all, and they aren't funny or witty or anything. many don't fit this stereotype though, just as many bad boys don't fit the stereotypical box you try to put them in.

im a bad girl though, so obviously I see things differently.

and I find that to be the issue as well. are you going for good girls or bad girls? I know tons of good girls who don't date any kind of bad boy. I also know a lot of good girls who feel like guys overlook them and aren't into them. so are you letting the good girls know you are really interested?

there are types of people for everyone. many of us like good guys, many of us like bad boys.

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Asker

+1 y
well I want a good girl, be she has to be pretty! It's just that most pretty girls are into partying and are popular, well, because they're pretty. life seems so easy for pretty girls and you have rub them just right in order to date them, and that's near impossible, especially for a guy with morals like myself.
Opinion Owner

+1 y
everyone has morals, they just may not be the same as your own. if you want a good girl, that's understandable and totally fine. there are a lot of pretty good girls. I've seen some really attractive ones, so I don't buy that. being a bad girl is more about how you behave. I'm always told I'm beautiful and sexy, but I know a lot of bad girls who are not the prettiest. I think we tend to have great bodies, but I've seen some busted good and bad girls. so looks really aren't the only thing
Opinion Owner

+1 y
being bad is so much more about how you act, what you do, etc. tons of bad girls are just okay without makeup on. you can't just sit there pretty. that's not going to make you a bad girl at all. and not all popular girls are bad girls. and some girls only like occasional partying but aren't there 24/7. I think you must have a narrow view on what's attractive or maybe you just don't focus your attention on good girls. don't give up because just as many of them are looking for someone too.

Answer 2

Asker

well I want a good girl, be she has to be pretty! It's just that most pretty girls are into partying and are popular, well, because they're pretty. life seems so easy for pretty girls and you have rub them just right in order to date them, and that's near impossible, especially for a guy with morals like myself.

Answer 3

Opinion Owner

everyone has morals, they just may not be the same as your own. if you want a good girl, that's understandable and totally fine. there are a lot of pretty good girls. I've seen some really attractive ones, so I don't buy that. being a bad girl is more about how you behave. I'm always told I'm beautiful and sexy, but I know a lot of bad girls who are not the prettiest. I think we tend to have great bodies, but I've seen some busted good and bad girls. so looks really aren't the only thing

Answer 4

Opinion Owner

being bad is so much more about how you act, what you do, etc. tons of bad girls are just okay without makeup on. you can't just sit there pretty. that's not going to make you a bad girl at all. and not all popular girls are bad girls. and some girls only like occasional partying but aren't there 24/7. I think you must have a narrow view on what's attractive or maybe you just don't focus your attention on good girls. don't give up because just as many of them are looking for someone too.

Answer 5

sexystarfishiguess

Xper 5

i know this is kinda late but I agree that it's a strange phenomenon. I've also noticed it with some girls, myself included: they can be smart, good-looking, not socially awkward (as in, not nerdy), but they still don't get a lot of guys. my thought is that a lot of guys and girls, even at the age 18-24, are still not mature enough to pursue marriage, and as such, they are not looking for marriage-material people such as those who are "good". that would be my theory.

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1 Person

Asker

+1 y
I would like to agree, but how do you know if you're marriage material or just flat out unattractive? there's a world of difference there :/
sexystarfishiguess

+1 y
haha well I've never been called unattractive... when I've asked friends what they would honestly rate my looks on a scale of 1-10 (1 being fugly and 10 being drop-dead gorgeous), I consistently get 7/8's. so I know that I'm at least moderately good-looking. lol for yourself, I guess you could ask people to rate you... the only thing is knowing if they're the type of people who are brutally honest or the type that lie just so they're not mean.

Answer 6

Asker

I would like to agree, but how do you know if you're marriage material or just flat out unattractive? there's a world of difference there :/

Answer 7

sexystarfishiguess

haha well I've never been called unattractive... when I've asked friends what they would honestly rate my looks on a scale of 1-10 (1 being fugly and 10 being drop-dead gorgeous), I consistently get 7/8's. so I know that I'm at least moderately good-looking. lol for yourself, I guess you could ask people to rate you... the only thing is knowing if they're the type of people who are brutally honest or the type that lie just so they're not mean.

Answer 8

peace-love-couture

Yoda

Same reason good girls finish last.

Guys and girls want the alpha male or alpha female. Even when they whine and complain about not receiving attention, what they really mean is "the alpha male/female isn't giving me attention, the good girls/guys are, but I think I'm too good for them"

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2 People

Asker

+1 y
seems to me the only thing that makes someone an "alpha" is to be obnoxiously outgoing and completely self-absorbed. that's really the extent of it. they're all like that.
peace-love-couture

+1 y
And that's exactly what guys like in girls too
Asker

+1 y
well I like shy girls, that are still charming and fun, but usually they turn out to ultimately be somewhat like this anyway. :/
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AgentWD40x

+1 y
I don't want an "alpha female". I want a girl who will submit.
alltheabove1212

+1 y
""Even when they whine and complain about not receiving attention, what they really mean is "the alpha male/female isn't giving me attention, the good girls/guys are, but I think I'm too good for them""

You just answered a sh*t ton of questions as to why girls complain about not finding anyone.

Understandable point though :)

Answer 9

Asker

seems to me the only thing that makes someone an "alpha" is to be obnoxiously outgoing and completely self-absorbed. that's really the extent of it. they're all like that.

Answer 10

peace-love-couture

And that's exactly what guys like in girls too

Answer 11

Asker

well I like shy girls, that are still charming and fun, but usually they turn out to ultimately be somewhat like this anyway. :/

Answer 12

AgentWD40x

I don't want an "alpha female". I want a girl who will submit.

Answer 13

alltheabove1212

""Even when they whine and complain about not receiving attention, what they really mean is "the alpha male/female isn't giving me attention, the good girls/guys are, but I think I'm too good for them""

You just answered a sh*t ton of questions as to why girls complain about not finding anyone.

Understandable point though :)

Answer 14

art84 | 210 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

I myself am a good guy, I not drink or smoke or enjoying going to bars and stuff like that. I would prefer a girl like me who cares the same characteristics like me and doesn't enjoy partying with her girlfriends and dancing and going to bars. I am sure nice girls have problems too as guys think of her as a nice girl and probably put her off as the type that he would get bored with easily. I think nice guys might come on a bit too strong when talking to a girl, they put all of their cards on the table and end up telling the girl that they love her or like her. And she gets scared and ends up ignoring him cause the guy wanted to go from friends to more than just friends. It happens I done it before and I am learning not to repeat it.

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Asker

+1 y
the so-called nice girls only have a problem getting guys because a lot of times, theyre not as physically attractive. a guy can be physically good looking, but still have a problem with finding a woman. girls basically just have to be fun to be around and look good. a guy can be fun to be around, good looking, but still just be classified as friend material. but really so can girls, I guess its really about finding the right person.

Answer 15

Asker

the so-called nice girls only have a problem getting guys because a lot of times, theyre not as physically attractive. a guy can be physically good looking, but still have a problem with finding a woman. girls basically just have to be fun to be around and look good. a guy can be fun to be around, good looking, but still just be classified as friend material. but really so can girls, I guess its really about finding the right person.

Answer 16

latinagirl1993

Xper 5

they might finish last, but in the end theyre going to be the ones with the steady relationship :) Understand that lots of girls now look for the guys that make them feel wanted, especially with someone hard to get,

but in the end, we realize its stupid, and we just want someone good. Hang in there, you sound great, and you'll find someone right for you :)

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Answer 17

Anonymous

I think they dislike 'pleasers', rather than good guys in general. You know those guys who are weirdly forward and show a lot more interest in you than you are giving back.

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Asker

+1 y
while I admit some people cross the line (with both genders), if you care about someone, won't you be forward with them and let them know and such? games are manipulative, which kinda goes against what love is all about. if you can't appreciate someone being forward, then you still have some growing to do in my opinion. ya know? some still, do cross the line a bit. but you have to appreciate someone that doesn't want to play games with your heart. that's love right there.
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Yes, but showing a lot of unrecipricated interest can make girls think you're desperate or being pushy. From my experiences anyway..
Asker

+1 y
or a guy is just fighting for what he wants... as long as he's not pressuring her into doing something or being forceful or whatever I see no problem in that. its an admirable trait. at least a guy is trying unlike a lot of guys that a girl will find attractive, because they're "challenging" simply because they don't care about her. see what I'm saying?
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Opinion Owner

+1 y
Just make sure you're not giving off a desperate vibe, cos that's a big turn off.
Leocris

+1 y
"Needy" is the word. Nice guys don't finish last. Needy guys finish last. They call them "nice" guys because they let people walk all over them and don't stand up for themselves.

Nice guys call to make sure she made it home alright. Needy guys call 11 times a day just to see where she is and what she's doing.

Nice guys hold the door for her. Needy guys hold her purse, while she dances with some other guy.

Answer 18

Asker

while I admit some people cross the line (with both genders), if you care about someone, won't you be forward with them and let them know and such? games are manipulative, which kinda goes against what love is all about. if you can't appreciate someone being forward, then you still have some growing to do in my opinion. ya know? some still, do cross the line a bit. but you have to appreciate someone that doesn't want to play games with your heart. that's love right there.

Answer 19

Opinion Owner

Yes, but showing a lot of unrecipricated interest can make girls think you're desperate or being pushy. From my experiences anyway..

Answer 20

Asker

or a guy is just fighting for what he wants... as long as he's not pressuring her into doing something or being forceful or whatever I see no problem in that. its an admirable trait. at least a guy is trying unlike a lot of guys that a girl will find attractive, because they're "challenging" simply because they don't care about her. see what I'm saying?

Answer 21

Opinion Owner

Just make sure you're not giving off a desperate vibe, cos that's a big turn off.

Answer 22

Leocris

"Needy" is the word. Nice guys don't finish last. Needy guys finish last. They call them "nice" guys because they let people walk all over them and don't stand up for themselves.

Nice guys call to make sure she made it home alright. Needy guys call 11 times a day just to see where she is and what she's doing.

Nice guys hold the door for her. Needy guys hold her purse, while she dances with some other guy.

Answer 23

Anonymous

Because they believe they will finish last, so they do

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Asker

+1 y
interesting answer, so how do you believe that you'll finish first? :D
Opinion Owner

+1 y
darling, I've already won
Asker

+1 y
im asking how would one go about believing they'll finish first? how would they make a change?

Answer 24

Asker

interesting answer, so how do you believe that you'll finish first? :D

Answer 25

Opinion Owner

darling, I've already won

Answer 26

Asker

im asking how would one go about believing they'll finish first? how would they make a change?

Answer 27

dwiller943 | 397 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Because they choose to.

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Why exactly do good guys finish last?

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