Do guys like good girls? Do guys like nice girls?

[XoFoolish4uXo]

Every guy I've met, especially guys who aren't bad boys...say they want to have a serious relationship with a good girl. I'm what you call a good girl. I don't do anything bad. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, swear, have sex. They've all said they like that. I am not uptight, I accept people who do these things and I'm not naive. I just have strong morals and values. I am SUPER sweet. Not on purpose it's just my personality. I care about everybody & when I'm in love I do everything I can for that person. There is no games, no hard to get. If I like you, you know it. I am very attractive, not to sound conceded. I dress nice & I can flirt & act sexy with a guy I like, but I don't with just any guy. So guys get to meet me, they all have said that I am the best girl they've ever met, that I'm a 'good girl' and a quality person. They all love me...but then they eventually end up just thinking I'm amazing, but dating a girl that likes to party, dresses slutty and is more forward. Someone who isn't as serious. Even though they tell me that's not what they want in a girlfriend. They've all said that they see themselves marrying me or someone like me. But yet they date girls like that? So my questions is do guys ACTUALLY like good girls? or are there any guys that do?

Updates:

+1 y

here's an update since everyone seems so interested in my sex life. I never said I don't do anything sexual. I said I don't have sex. there are ways to make someone happy, without actually having sex. the subject was good girls vs bad,not abstinence :P

[Anonymous]

Honey, of course some guys like good girls! For every type of person out there, there's another with the same values and things like that. Are you looking in places where you meet guys like you? You mentioned you're religious I think, so do you meet guys in church?

I think there are several reasons. Some men have a certain image they want in marriage, but most men are not ready to be married this young, so even if they know that is what they envision in the future, they may want to be with girls who are the opposite of that before hand. They may have more fun and excitement with girls who aren't labelled as "good girls." Of course, men are visual creatures as well so attraction has to do with it. And also, some men are attracted to their opposites (opposites attract sort of thing) and want to experiment with relationships like that. Even if you think your way of thinking is best, being with someone who is different can be intriguing for some people. These men are essentially hypocrites (the ones who claim to want good girls but go after girls who contradict that image, I mean) but they are also only human. I think also it may be that what we envision as perfection can be appealing but only from a distance. This isn't to insult you or anything, but it's the same with "prince charming" for a lot of girls: you see them and they look like whatever your idea of the perfect package is, and then you aren't as into it as you thought you might be. It's not getting your blood flowing like something else, and you kind of keep looking in the other direction. Not everyone is like that though. A lot of guys may love your image and find it refreshing that you are chaste until marriage and you don't party or anything. I've seen girls like that in relationships before.

I think your unwillingness to do ANYTHING sexual might hurt your chances with a lot of guys, but that simply means they aren't right for you. We all have different matches, and I don't think you should change anything about yourself unless YOU feel it's the right thing for you to do. Don't just do it for some guy, do it if you want to have sex or whatever the issue at hand may be. It's good to know who you are and stand by that.

I can't relate to your problems personally because I would be, um, the complete opposite of a good girl. lol I don't drink much or do drugs (I'm not against it though, just not for me) but I love having fun, dancing, going out, I am forward and direct, and I love having sex - I'm very promiscuous, or slutty if you want to call it that. I've had long term relationships, I've been in deep love before, and I'm pretty experienced in matters involving love and sex.

It depends on where you go. Most guys in my social circle don't really mind promiscuity but a lot of guys here on GaG are very adamant about their opinions on how its disgusting. So...lol there are types for everyone. Don't give up, you'll meet someone. It always seems to happen when you're not looking. :)

[phuongbui]

It doesn't matter that you are good or bad, what matters is that if you've met the right person or not. Why are there so many divorces nowadays? Because the girls' and the guys' egos are both high. Where is the tradition? It is that women should keep good morals. Men love attractive girls. But your morals, sophisication are what slowly attract them, once they have sensed those qualities, you'll be like a magnet, because it stays with you forever. There are tons of guys who love good girls. You are too hard to find in this society. You are the strongest human being, because you don't follow the crowd. Moreover, what's important is that you respect yourself. You look at the big picture, you see the future before starting a new relationship. It's not like other girls out there who just like giving their bodies to guys, it's cheap, and boring. Guys love to explore, so I think one of the qualities you should focus on is by not being too obvious and control your feelings. Don't be too attached to someone, when you like them, do good things for them, and be confident. If they can't understand, move on. Keep leveling yourself up, which means by having a good relationship with yourself first, a right guy with the same level will come to you. I can't stand guys who just one sex. Let me tell you my story. There was a guy who liked me and asked me for sex after talking for a while. I was pissed, so I honestly said "I don't have sex before marriage. If you like to have sex, go with the booty calls out there." Which made him like me even more. He thought that I had such rare qualities in women that he's met. But, when we were talking again after I said that let's be friends and find out each other first, he asked for kissing me. I immediately avoided him and said that "I can't be on the relationship with you. We'll never fit. I don't like guys who rush, it makes me feel like I'm being controlled and it's so uncomfortable." He still liked me, promised to change, but I never talked to him again. You see? You have such rare qualities a women could have. "You are a real woman, not a girl" That's what he said. Should you trust those people on the internet? Or those people who are different from you? Normal guys like good girls. All guys do. Please don't change yourself. But keep a cool head also, don't let your heart control you.

[tracyoc83]

your actually not that hot, you have a prominent nose and bottom lip, and a receding chin. I'm not saying your a dog your just a bit average. Also unless your actually coming out and randomly telling people your not having sex with them ever,then they probably don't want to be in relationship with you as they think your a dullard and a bit arrogant. Plus the whole 'if I like you you know it' thing might be a bit off putting, its all very well been a bit assertive but you don't want to look desperate. Lastly the 'no games, no hard to get bit' is definitely not good! men want a bit of a challenge, If its a case of you making it well obvious you like them and all they have to do is ask you out then its kinda boring and your not going to seem like much of a prize.Im not suggesting mind f***ing someone for your own amusement but a tiny bit of mystery and challenge is a good thing. Plus when your that easy to get into a relationship and then your not even going to have sex well wheres the fun in that. I'm not slaging off your morals and values, live and let live, but I'm what you consider a bad girl and I've not been single since I was 14. I've been in two long term serious relationships since I was 18 and not once in the last ten years have I cheated. in the interim period of relationships I have had many offers of relationships. The thing with bad girls is whereas you, a female, might see these girls as slutty chances are its more show than anything and I for one make every man work for my attention. I actually have a friend kinda like you who is my age and has never been in a long term realtionship and she is def not ugly looking or personality wise. People want what they can't have so make yourself more unattainable or accept the fact that you will probably be single for a long time.

[PsychedelicZebra]

Well of course guys want to marry good girls. You're 18-24, which means that the slutty girls get the attention because at that age, all the guys (nice or otherwise) are looking for sex, but probably aren't ready for marriage.

You seem like a girl with strong morals and a good head. Quality men want that in a marriage, or even a long-term relationship. But in a long-term relationship, men also expect sex, not just for the physical gratification but also for the emotional bond. So if you are laying it out to guys that you don't want sex until you're married or something, don't expect to get very far at your age, unless you are religious or something, in which case you should find someone with similar values. It's okay if, once you've been on a few dates with a guy, you make it clear that you want to wait a few months before sex. Quality men will respect this and wait. However, guys will lose interest if you tell them you're not interested in sex right off the bat, or if you tell them you want to wait like a year or something... sorry but that's a huge turnoff. How is a guy supposed to feel like you really love him if you don't want to make love to him?

Also, it might simply be that you are too serious, or you preach your morals too strongly... reveal your morals slowly over the initial stages of the relationship, so you don't come on too strong too fast. Guys want to do everything they can to make sure the girl they love is happy... if it seems like your expectations are so high that they will never meet them and satisfy you emotionally, then they will look elsewhere.

Sweet is awesome, play that up, so is being flirty and acting sexy. Being a tease, I'm sorry, that's very unattractive. So don't act too sexy if that's not what you're looking for, it sends guys the wrong message. Stay true to your principles and when something/someone doesn't agree with them, object with humour, rather than a judgmental attitude.

Good like and trust me... nice girls will always be in demand! (Way too many slutty girls in this world...)

[MrOracle]

Most guys your age *eventually* want a serious, mature relationship, but *right now*, they're just looking to have some fun. Just look at how they act, and this is obvious. Not very many are ready to "settle down", as some guys are full-on in dating mode, and others are just having their first dates ever. Most guys know that they will change a lot over the next 5 years or so, and that their situations will change a lot, so they don't want to be tied down.

So, you either need to accept that you've only got a small percentage of guys to choose from (the few who DO want a serious relationship at that age) and pick one of them, or you'll have to date some older guys. OR, you can try another alternative: date a guy without it being overly serious, and just have some fun. You don't need to have sex (granted, no sex *will* keep some guys away), but you can still enjoy each others company and have a good time without feeling like you need to start planning the rest of your lives together. Live in the moment for a while, during the part of your life where you have the least amount of responsibility you'll ever have. Later on, living in the moment will be much more difficult, and you'll wish you had.

[BluMac81]

Well, it all has to do with short-term and long-term attraction. If a guy is given time to THINK about what kind of girl he wants, he would describe the 'good girl'. If a guy see's a girl who's dressed slutty, he is not given time to think about it, and instead REACTS based on the evolutionary insticts driving him forward. Of the 3 'bad girl' traits you listed, I believe only 2 apply. Being a 'party girl' has nothing to do with being 'good' or 'bad. A girl dressing sluty as you say may seem like a 'bad girl' to you, but to a guy she seems like a girl who wants and welcomes attention from guys, thus the guy is not as reserved in terms of making a move on her. And when it comes to a 'bad' girl being forward, it allows the guy to take a break from always doing the pursuing and enjoying the welcome experience of being the persued, not to mention it also confirms the girl is interested (of course) and so the guy doesn't have to second guess on 'does she like me?'

I think you're problem will go away with age, when guys are less into dating for the fun of it and more interested in something long-term. You're going to have the last laugh, because while those slutty girls are getting STD's and unwanted pregnancies you are going to land yourself a committed relationship with a great guy who will stick by you to till the very end. I know this because this is how I progressed as a guy, I'm 29 now and no longer in to those slutty and forward 'party girls'... though they still turn me on :) If a guy knows what's really good for him, he'll go with the good girl and secure a long and fruitful relationship instead of a one night stand.

[honeyltsme]

You mentioned sex pretty casually in line with the other "vices". You need a partner to have sex, so it stands to reason if you aren't game for it, guys wanting sex before marriage have no other choice but to do it with bad girls.

"Bad girls" are also disposable (pardon the frankness) without as much guilt, if the relationship does not work out. So much so that most guys can just plunge into a relationship with a "bad girl" knowing full well it's going to fall apart in days, weeks or months.

If I were contemplating hanging out with you, if you are as attractive and fun as you say you are, I would be agonising about whether I would succeed in keeping myself from wanting to seduce you; I would be agonising over the possibility of seducing you and you being a virgin and me taking your virginity (I've not done this to any girl); I would be agonising about having taken your virginity and things not working out between us for any number of unforeseeable reasons. As you can imagine, this is a lot of agony, at least for a guy who is perhaps not entirely rotten to the core.

By comparison, hanging out with a bad girl is simple. You meet, swap numbers, do the facebook bit, do coffee, do dinner, smoke weed or take E (for whoever wants that), dance, have sex, repeat. Simple. 0 guilt, 0 agony.

But as years go by, I feel more ready to stomach the risk and agony and go through it with a nice girl similar to what you describe, with the best of intentions. But be forewarned that it would not be long before every one of your freckles on your body is accounted for and I could tell what day it is by how you taste.

[Yeahhbro]

Here is you answer why " I don't have sex" about 95% of men like to have sex and a lot of the reason why we get into a relationship is for the sex, not exclusively but yes it is one of the main reasons. We do it because we have urges just like any other man put there, getting a one night stand and a booty call is extremely difficult and only those with a lot of experience will get them, since must men have no experience doing that, they stick with relationships to have sex.

Also the when you said "I have strong moral and values", "I don't dress slutty" when you say that to men, they might think you are a one of those girls who are just too good to do anything risky and bad you know (AKA having sex). You might come out as being too good for doing bad things. And hell we men love to do those bad things, it is what makes relationships "fun" for us as well, all the cuddling, name calling, romantic and all that stuff is good but behind our minds we also want to get laid and get a frisky woman as well.

Just like how girls love "bad boys" we love "bad girls" because they are: relaxed, outspoken, they don't care about what people say about them even if they are called sluts, they like to take risks and are not afraid of anything.

[kennyk]

I have a huge crush on a girl exactly like you, so we definitely exist. :)

Most guys don't want someone like you. They may want to settle down with someone like you eventually, but they're nowhere near that point. They want to get with slutty party girls for the time being and THEN settle with someone like you. You're a commitment they aren't ready for.

Look for the nerdy quiet type. I think that's where you'll find what you're looking for. Only the thing I've found is that a lot of nice girls are shy, and so are the guys who want them. Case in point me and my crush... :/

[currannaaach]

I like girls who enjoy the same things I do.

The same is true for almost everyone else. Guys who don't smoke or do drugs (I'm not saying "good") are probably going to get along with you better. Instead of going to a party and getting hammered, both of you would probably enjoy doing something else fun.

I don't know what you mean by strong morals and values. Everyone has values. People make decisions because they value something over another.

There's no such thing as being a "good" girl (or guy). You're just being you, and that's great. Don't label yourself and others. Try and find people who are like you.

I drink like every weekend and hang out with friends at parties. It's fun, and I'd like a girl who likes doing what I do.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I love good girls :) smoking is bleh, a little drinking isn't so bad, but no drinking is fine and cool too. No drugs is smart, etc. And not having sex kinda sucks, but not having casual sex is awesome. But ya, if I love a girl, I don't mind if she doesn't want to have sex until marriage, I'll wait. I'm with her for real reasons, not sex.

Btw, your avatar his attractive :P hah. I love the blue shirt. Basically I love blue >.> :P But ya, still, guys like girls like that fine. Any guy who doesn't isn't worth being in a serious relationship with. Simple as that.

[GoldGriffin80]

If you ask me, you're completely awesome (from what little you've described yourself so far, anyway), and the type of girl I always dream about meeting! If there's ANYTHING wrong with you, it's that you might seem TOO perfect, if that makes any sense. I knew a girl like you back in junior high: she was tall, gorgeous, smart, funny, athletic, friendly and kind-hearted. Perfect. Yet none of us guys would even TALK to her, if we could help it. Why? Because none of us felt worthy of her! She was intimidating, without trying to be. We all liked her, but we knew she could get (and deserved!) better than any of us, so why humiliate ourselves asking her? Looking back, I very much regret not getting to know her better. Maybe, if she tried a bit harder to be friendly to us, we'd have realized that she was just as human as anybody else! :)

[InquisitiveMale]

There are definitely guys who like good girls such as yourself. I'm somewhere in between. I like a girl who can be both good, bad, and wild when the time is right.

I like a girl who can go out to the pub with me and the guys and not be afraid to make a complete ass of themselves. I like a girl who can go to meet my parents and be the well rounded girl they want for me. I like a girl who can be spontaneous and rambunctious. I like a girl who can be hormonal and enraging. I like a girl who can both cry, laugh, and scream all in the same day.

[EZlats]

Most of the time guys THINK they like that. It's exactly like when girls say they want a nice guy but the only date assholes. The thing about those party girls is they're easier to figure out and please. And while the overall quality is much much much worse and there's little chance for a real relationship, they don't, care, don't think that far ahead or hope that they'll be able to change them enough to keep them around.

But there are guys looking for serious relationships with good girls, just keep your eyes open and don't just automatically rule them (or anyone) out (the keyword having been "automatically")

[G-Daz]

I LOVE good girls, I would deffinitly prefer to marry one. I think your main concern is to seperate the douches from the good guys, (if good guys are what you are into). A guy who is a douche is likely to not be willing to take you very serious regardless off how sweet and good you are, generally you won't be fully appreciated. Just look for a guy with the same morals and beliefs as you :). I think being around this age its harder to actually meet a guy who will appreciate how you are but they are still out there. Many haven't matured quite yet

[bprox]

hmm morals are completely subjective, but besides that. I don't even date anymore, but I know a lot of guys that do this and here's the reasons I think they do this

A.) Makes them look good

B.) sex, maybe if they got a girlfriend it makes them feel more moral than just a hookup

C.) "moral" girls or good girls seem great, when you want kids or want to get married... so you can get all of the guys who love commitment and wnat to marry you to date you (which is very slim)

D.) naughty girls are more fun...

[Sim00]

Well sure We love Good Girls :) but there is no Good Girls in this time , I will explain to you what happen to me and you tell me , I meet a girl last year I was just for vacations in my country and I was about to back to italy , anyway when I meet her I liked her , she was an angel a sweet person that care alotof ..so I decided so stay near her.. after few months things become complicated I swear I never been nice to anygirl like I'm doing with her even right now , now she keep wanting a break , no more care no more love , all she want is to watching me suffering ... I helped her alotof when no one helped her , I even forget my self ... how come you do good things to someone and in the end you get hurted? isn't bad those things you tell me where is those nice girls your talking about?

[Anonymous]

girls like you are for settling down because you don't put out easily and are more relationship material. if I was a young guy in my prime and my priority was having fun, why would I want to date you? I would be friends with you and then if you were still single when I feel like I want to settle down, I'd go for you.

so I think you should either wait until you find one of the rare guys you like who are ready for a serious relationship...or think about dating a guy a few years older. maybe like 3-7 years older than you. someone who has a good head on his shoulders, morals and is similar to you.

[Dylan1989]

I love good girls. I hope to meet a girl like you someday. And yes, I actually mean it. Sorry to say this but most guys in your age range probably will not want a girl like you because they want to do all the stuff that you mentioned you do not do. They want to have fun and sleep around and get drunk and smoke etc. When they want to settle down they may start looking for a girl like you but that probably won't be until their late 20's or something. But there are equally good guys out there who would love a girl like you.

I'm not trying to be conceited but I am a quality guy and I wish to meet a girl EXACTLY like you.

[Mexicoman101]

It also depends on the company you keep, if you hang with slutty looking girls then you will look slutty. And guys don't like abstinence girls, we think that they are just playing with us, unless you make it known that you abstain so that we can quit while were ahead. We just like it when they make us earn it over time or effort, not free, because a girl that puts out too soon isn't given as much respect.

[Anonymous]

I've seen girls like you before, and when that was what I wanted, they rejected me.

Apparently their reason was valid, but still.

Now that I got over thinking that I am supposed to be in a relationship, girls tend to find me a better choice.

The truth is, there are guys out there who would like you, and guys you would like, but the feelings will often not be mutual.

A sidenote, having sex when you get closer to a guy is not a "bad" thing, you don't have to marry someone to do it you know.

[Milesdavis2998]

Guys don't care if you're good or bad. They want someone to bend to their will and cater to their needs. Men are wretched animals and however bad you might think some girls are, they pale in comparison to most guys. Good girls find nice guys later in life, not now. By the way, abstinence blows and doesn't lead to anything interesting. Bleh

[Raider_Z]

Umm... sounds like men having been using you emotionally... kind of hilarious in some sick way because it happens to men all the time. Sexy Sex is part of monogamous boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for most men. If you don't want to put out, you get to take care of your male friends' emotional needs while the sex kittens take care of his physical needs. Most guys would love to have 1 girl that can take care of all his needs, but only a lucky few end up in those situations.

[lvax06]

when it comes to the possibility or the reality of choosing the mother of our child we can be picky as women are. a good girl is wanted when we want to be serious bout settling down. who wants a whore for a house wife?

[martyfellow]

Most guys will date the more forward girls. They just want to have fun at the time and aren't looking for a marriage partner.

Just wait until they want to settle down. You may have to ENCOURAGE them to settle down...