See, often times it has less to do with lack of confidence and more to do with an over abundance of fear that drowns out any outward signs of confidence. It's common for guys to have confidence in their own self worth while doubting that it'll be conveyed properly or that it won't matter for some reason. The whole "believe in yourself" speech gives no mention to the reality that it isn't worth a damn if no one else sees what you see, and it's rare that others see what you see during a first encounter.
I agree though that if a guy isn't broadcasting signs of confidence then his chances are pretty much nil at that point though. My only issue with avoiding the approach in that situation is guys who do that NEVER approach anyone and end up as bitter incels, which is a whole other not great scenario. I think approaching despite your chances is the least bad option in the current dating market, although it'd be ideal if there was a way to gain a little assurance that things will work out. Not sure what that looks like in practice or reality though, so it's really nothing more than an ideal.
some guys have friends that are girls and then they ask out their friend that they like and have gotten to know
So those guys almost always start those "friendships" with the intention of asking the girl out in the end. I've tried doing that a few times and when it goes badly it suuuucks. The idea of "get to know her, then ask her out" actually fails more often than not. It's very rare unless the girl is already thinking along those lines from the beginning. 0/10 strategy. Props to the ones that work, but I wouldn't recommend that as plan A for "how to get in a relationship".
Okay well the only way I would ever go out with a guy is if he was my friend first and I'm sure many agree. Act like you know women if you want
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