Ended things with friends with benefits and I feel so bad. Did I hurt him? Is he mad at me? Should I message him again and say sorry and that I care about him still?

Question

I’d been friends with benefits with a guy for three months. We hit it off super well from the very beginning and he had told me that he didn’t want anything serious at the beginning. I didn’t think I did either, but then after 2 months he started doing things that seemed more than what a causal hookup would do. He would open up to me about his personal matters, his family, his future plans. We shared our favorite songs with each other, messaged every day, etc. Many times we would even meet up and hang out and have a great time without the “benefits.” So I caught feelings for him. Then I felt him getting distant again. I was confused but didn’t want to let it occupy my mind too much. I was swiping on a dating app just for fun (no intention of meeting anyone new) and then his profile popped up, with updated photos and everything. I swiped to see what would happened and we matched. Anyway... he said “hey friend” and I came right out and told him that if he’s looking for new people to hookup with, then we need to end this because I couldn’t do that. I told him that I have the dating app too, but it’s because i didn’t know where this was going, but i wasn’t looking to actually be with anyone new and unlike him, i hadn’t updated my profile since we met. He told me that he didn’t know where this was going either and he made it clear from the start that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. I told him i was getting confused because we’d been getting so much closer and to me it seemed like more than what a casual hookup relationship would entail. He said he’s sorry and that he does like me a lot, but he isn’t looking for anything serious rn. So, I told him that i think we need to stop at least for now, because i can’t force him into being serious with me but if it’s not gonna go anywhere then I’m just gonna get hurt. He didn’t reply to my last text, and two days later he removed me as a Snapchat friend and he deleted his dating profile (it said ’deleted user’). Is he mad at me?

Answer 1

Bad_Man55 | 806 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

He's probably just disappointed that he is loosing the relationship you had and the sex. He prob just needs some distance, just let him deal he will be ok

Asker

9 mo
I was thinking of texting him in a couple of days to apologize for being so blunt, and reminding him that i still appreciated the time we had together and that i hope everything goes well with him. I just had to do this so i won’t get hurt. Bad idea?
Bad_Man55

9 mo
I feel like that opens up a conversation if he responds to you. in my opinion you were not that blunt the topic came up and you said how you feel and took the mature route. Not sure why he would delete you that seemed drastic. You could still maintain a semblance of a friendship if you both acted maturely, seems like he is choosing not to. If I were you I would not apologize or anything. Just let him know you enjoyed what you had together and that you wish him the best and that you will always be friends in your book.

Answer 2

Asker

I was thinking of texting him in a couple of days to apologize for being so blunt, and reminding him that i still appreciated the time we had together and that i hope everything goes well with him. I just had to do this so i won’t get hurt. Bad idea?

Answer 3

Bad_Man55

I feel like that opens up a conversation if he responds to you. in my opinion you were not that blunt the topic came up and you said how you feel and took the mature route. Not sure why he would delete you that seemed drastic. You could still maintain a semblance of a friendship if you both acted maturely, seems like he is choosing not to. If I were you I would not apologize or anything. Just let him know you enjoyed what you had together and that you wish him the best and that you will always be friends in your book.

Answer 4

spartan55 | 13.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Wow, what a surprising story. He was honest from you from the start. Blame yourself for this one.

Answer 5

alance99 | 485 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

You wanted something serious with him and then at same time you were on a dating app as well and if he is just your friends with benefits then he can meet any girl anywhere

alance99

9 mo
And same applies for you too

Answer 6

alance99

And same applies for you too

Ended things with friends with benefits and I feel so bad. Did I hurt him? Is he mad at me? Should I message him again and say sorry and that I care about him still?

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