I tried doing that but it felt like I was talking to a brick wall. I told her this doesn’t make me feel good but she wasn’t seeing my side
I did exactly that. I told her no more but the way I handled it was immature. She probably won’t speak to me again. I felt me always being available was my downfall in this situation. She knew that she could do anything I would take her back. I’m confused she would say stuff like I really care about you but when I try to meet up to Catch up she never showed up. She would text me at 2am saying I’m thinking about you but still treated me like a low level acquaintance. I often asked myself what am I really getting out of this
It’s not even about the false hope because you can’t force someone to like you so once she said I’m not interested I moved on. She kept texting me so I thought she was least interested in being friends. I was wrong. It seems like she only wants my attention and because I’m always available she text me when she is bored. Other than that she has no interest in anything. So are we really friends? Ultimately like you said I should just find someone that is interested in my life whether that be friends or relationship. It is in my best interest to cut her off and stop entertaining her nonsense because I’m getting nothing out of this.
I didn't mean "false hope" in a romantic sense. I meant it more like you were expecting something else that you weren't getting. Her actions fed some of it, until you realized that you were her last-ditch contact (she said that she wanted to be friends, but a friend won't always rate you dead-last every time).The one I met years ago kicked me to the curb for another guy, but said she wanted to be friends. We never hung out after she met the other guy, and her actions made it clear that I wasn't anyone important to her.She IMed me on AOL Instant Messager (yeah, AIM was still popular, that's how long ago it was!). I let her carry the conversation since I had realized a long time before that she wouldn't even give me the time of day. She finally sent, "I should have free time this weekend. Here's my new cell number (...). Call me and let's set up plans." I took that as, "Yeah, I let things fall apart. Here are the pieces. Now put them back together for me." I emailed her back and said that I wasn't going to waste my time if she wasn't going to make it worth it. I told her my view, and that if she wanted to be friends, then to email me some specific days and times that she would be free, things she would want to do, etc -- I told her to be a friend and show some effort.I didn't hear back from her... for 1.5 years. One day I got an email from her asking if we could make amends. After some email discussion, I eventually told her "no."Stand up for yourself. In the end, you're the only person that can consistently do it for you. If she's not going to do anything to be worth your time or effort, then you're better off without her.
I agree with you. After 3 years I finally stood up for myself and express to her the stuff you’re doing is bothering me. The way I handled it was very immature I admit but I got my point across. Ultimately something had to be and it led to us not speaking anymore. I wish it didn’t end this way.
"The way I handled it was very immature I admit but I got my point across."I saw your response to @anniisa. I'm assuming you were honest about the facts.I actually don't think you were immature about it. Not raising your voice, not insulting her or cussing her out, etc. is actually a very mature way of handling it. If you said it to her face-to-face, even better (I didn't get that with the one I dealt with -- she cut things off and never allowed any in-person contact, anyway, so I didn't have a choice). She took you for granted, and you told her that you weren't a disposable commodity. Good for you!
My first choice would’ve been to say this stuff in person but she didn’t want to meet me with the 3 years I’ve known her so it wasn’t possible. The reason I said it was bad the way I handled it because it was through text and it was bad timing due to covid-19. I apologized for that and she didn’t respond. She definitely took me for granted and used me as a guy of convenience and boredom. She had no interest in anything at all but essentially would waste my time with no substance text. I just wish I could go back and change things
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It’s been 3 years and we haven’t even hung out once so there was no way for her to help me find a girl
Sounds like you were super close friends.
Are you being sarcastic?
I did but I regret how I handled it
What did you say?
Okay I didn’t curse or say any insults. I said I believe you are using me for attention and ego boost. I said you want your cake and to eat it too. I said I was probably the only guy there for you when you had no one else yet you throw me aside when I want to hang out or better options are there. I said you send me mixed signals and it is affecting me. All of this was said in a argumentative way and of course she denied it. At the end I said take care and I wish you nothing but the best because I had enough. Now that I look at it I didn’t really blow up at her. She takes advantage of my kindness and me always being available. Whenever I voice my opinion to her about how I feel she never took it into consideration. Essentially my needs didn’t matter. She was selfish. I said you should apologize to me for the last 3 years of the emotional roller coaster she put me on. The wishy washy behavior.
Well if you've been dealing with this for three years I can understand why you would be annoyed. But yeah it wasn't handled in the best way. Try not to feel too guilty though, it kind of sounds like she had it coming.
I agree that was the worst possible way to handle it. That just shows my immaturity. I make mistakes which is why I apologized. She didn’t respond but it’s her right not to. It’s just I bottle up everything and eventually I have to say something and everything comes out you know what I’m saying? I’m not gonna play the victim and blame everything on her because I was doing some fuck shit also.