Why do I always feel like I have to keep this hidden and I won’t be accepted?

Anonymous
Why do I always feel like I have to keep this hidden like I won’t be accepted

At my university literally the only people who know I have an autism diagnosis is the disability services office. Like I already get treated in my classes differently often times I find myself sitting alone and this isn’t by choice. I had a lab last fall where I was one of the first ones in I sat at a table and the room started to fill out by my table was still empty and I was sitting alone until I’m embarrassingly asked another girl if I could join her table and it was the same in my other classes when it came to groups I often wasn’t picked and my professor had to assign me to a group out of pity. Like I just wanna be able to be myself so currently I’m masking if you know about Asperger’s you understand it’s a way where someone with Asperger’s can appear normal on the surface even though they are not. Problem is this can fall apart really quickly especially under intense stress which happens a lot In my classes because I spend most of the class thinking about why people don’t like me instead of actually focusing on what the professor is saying. It’s like I get things held against me that aren’t my fault it doesn’t come natural I also didn’t choose to be this way
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27 d
I have read some very helpful information
Why do I always feel like I have to keep this hidden and I won’t be accepted?
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