Do you think im wrong for wanting to marry a guy at work who does this stuff to me? And if so what is wrong with me?

Anonymous
Disclamer this is a serious question.

He says he wants to have sex with me all the time, he points out my flaws and says im frustrating... he's nice to everyone else and he's popular.

Why do i still want to marry him?
Part of me thinks i keep going back to him mentaly/emotionally because I have bad memory and to cope with abuse I tend to forget it and try to focus on a peaceful future (although he keeps doing it again and again where he'll be nice then mean for no reason then nice and so on as a cycle). I think part of why i go back is due to proximity. he's right there at work every week.
Do you think im wrong for wanting to marry a guy at work who does this stuff to me? And if so what is wrong with me?
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