Are there any single good guys out there?


they're stupid and worthless. they have no problems playing with your emotions and manipulating your feelings. they are incapable of being honest and straightforward. they can't have a single conversation that is honest. they're always lying about something or other. they pretend to be the nice guy, the caring guy, the sweet guy, the guy you can also count on and when you fall for them, their truth self appears -- the douche.

isn't there a single guy out there is is genuinely and truly nice? and not just pretending for an ego boost?

but where are the good ones? I always seem to end up with the jerk
but I don't go after the bad boys. I go for the nice ones. it's just that after dating for a period, they turn into the jerks. in the begining they're all so sweet and great and so nice, but then they into someone else. and I don't know why this keeps happening


Most Helpful Guy

  • 80% of the time you'll end up with a jerk because you're looking for someone who's outgoing, probably has their act together, and won't be clingy or change who he is. He has self esteem and doesn't care what you think, and very likely could be a jerk.

    The nice guys, are generally more quiet, thoughtful, might not always have a plan, might worry more, be more inclined to being clingy, probably haven't been in as many relationships, and might be more vulnerable. They're the type who'll be more likely to care for you because of various reasons, but they're honest. They're quiet, so you might have to put more effort in, especially when trying to get them to open up about their feelings because, well, they'll feel differently about things and be more worried about what you think because they want you to like them and fear that you might not.

    What you're ACTUALLY asking for, is the middle ground - the good guy, who's confident and has self esteem and all that, but also is caring and kind - they're the hard ones to find.

    How do you find those guys? Well, look somewhere else from where you have been, and I almost guarantee you won't meet them in a bar. The other problem? A lot of guys in our age group are still discovering who they are and growing into that, a lot of older guys probably seem mature because they've gone through this, but a lot of guys never get there, either.

    So, where are they? Probably right where you are, in front of their computer screens. Be more open to people, meet them everywhere you go, make more friends, do things - people are out there, they're just not going to walk up to your door while you're on the computer and say "Here I am!" ...Unless they're stalking you...

    • Great answer +5 !

    • Excellent! +1

    • Dude I agree with your point, by nice guy you are describing a feminine guy. A real man is not clingy and vulnerable. A real man knows what he wants and how to get the girl. And when the girl behaves badly she is out, period. A real man won't manipulate and use women either. So, yeah, a real man would be in "the middle ground" so to speak between the jerk and the nice guy.

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What Guys Said 15

  • If I say the following, many, many guys will relate to it:

    "I hate women, ... They have no problems playing with your emotions and manipulating your feelings. ... they can't have a single conversation that is honest. they are always lying about something or other. they pretend to be the nice girl, the caring girl, the sweet girl, the girl you can count on and when you fall for them, their truth self appears - the b*tch... Isn't there a single woman out there is is genuinely and truly nice?... "

    There's bad people in both genders. I can tell you from my experience. there had been girls I have give everything to, just to be used, manipulated and made feel miserable.

    by thinking this way, be careful, it can be self defeating. No man who respects himself will want someone who thinks like you do about men. And normally the good men are the ones who do respect themselves.

    A real man, a good man, won't treat you like what you descrive, probably the problem is all in you, for choosing as*holes and not paying attention to the good men. Besides, good men are very selective when they choose their woman. Are you sure you measure up to a good man's expectations?

    • this isn't my fault. not to sound conceited but I'm pretty awesome. I'm a good person, I volunteer, I'm educated, I'm fun, I'm kind.

    • Wait, I'm not blaming you and I do not doubt you are a good person, but are you flexible? are you a giver? do you have integrity and respect men? do you accept men without trying to change them... no amount of volunteering can give you those.

      I am not saying that you are not flexible, giving, etc. But those are the things a good man probably will look for. And when you say "I hate men... they are worthless... " and the alike, you surely are showing you are very disrespectful toward men.

  • See. They make us all look bad. Rotten apples and people like me end up being associated with them. Pisses me off.

  • to be honest with you the guys that are attracted to you are jerks to start out with, a jerks mo is to start out being nice to a degree that's how he lures the victim in. how ever your probably wading through a stream of nice good guys and not know it because you don't see them as boyfriend material.

    you may even have some relatively close to you right now that would make an excellent boyfriend .

    ya, someone you've probably put on a back burner somewhere thinking well he's nice and all but I just see him as a friend. yep that guy youput in the friend zone . the guy you see as just a friend , he's the one that seems a little clingy or maybe assexual , or is just to nice to be true. but yet he's the best friend ever . hmmm...

    did you know girls in your age group (14-24) make some pretty bad choices in guys. be honest here look at your track record (otherwise why would you be posting this question).

    i would even go so far to say thart this guy friend that's in the frind zone would bend over backwards to do anything for you most likely. these guys didn't just become (just friends ) because they thought they wanted or needed another friend in their lives. they were interested in you for more than that (but because of up bring ,teaching of parents mostly of mother saying girls wants a nice guy, and the like ) he may have not expressed himself in ways that more confident guys (the jerks and players and badboys may have) which is why he's now in your friend zone for.

    another note of interest as girls like you get somewhat older ?(25-& up) they realize (as your finding out right now) that these type guys aren't for you. so these (just friends type nice guys who generally doesn't get the girl while young) gets noticed (he hasn't changed much since school though basically the same guy yet now all the things he was rejected for while young the girls now see as good qualities for a long term relationship. to bad many of these same girls couldn't see that while young they could have adverted much of the heartache and bad treatment they received from guys they thought were hot ,good looking hunks, popular like jocks,

    I've posted a question on here based on this and put the article by a women no less about this kind of thing.

    here something to consider

    before getting in the next relationship check the guy out (/no not his body lol)

    1. how does he treat people in general guys and gals? (poorly and well)

    2. how does he treat other girls in school? (poorly or well does he bad mouth any)

    3. how does he treat his mom/sister/s /or other female relatives (poorly or well)

    4. how did he treat past girlfriends (if known ask them poorly or well)

    the obvious answer if any of the above is negatively he'll treat you the same way most likely.

    never get it in your head you can change a guy like that. the ratio of success is to small for sucess. am I saying it doesn't occur yes it can happen but only (and I mean only if he wants to and generally they don't) .

  • In the beginning they're all so sweet and great and so nice, but then they change."

    Thus they were putting up a show and you didn't see it, probably because you want to believe the show.

    Taking some background info on the guy might help you (talking to his exes for instance) If you bought a car or a computer, you'd first gain info too, wouldn't you? Or do you buy on the sales talk?

    The old Romans had a saying 'Caveat emptor' (Let the buyer beware) It's still valid.

    • that's crazy. you can't just go around interviewing everyone they had contact with about their personality...

  • there are good people in both sexes and bad people in both sexes. You just evidently have not met a good guy yet.

  • Update: you always seem to end up with the jerk ? Then ask yourself why. All those jerks you end up with have at least ONE thing in common: you start liking them. Why those guys and not other guys?

    • i don't know. I go for the nice ones, or at least the seemingly nice guys. but then it's like they have a personality phase once we reach the comfort level in a relationship and he doesn't feel the need to be nice anymore. what is with that?

    • In the beginning they're all so sweet and great and so nice, but then they change."

      Thus they were putting up a show and you didn't see it, probably because you want to believe the show.

      Taking some background info on the guy might help you (talking to his exes for instance) If you bought a car or a computer, you'd first gain info too, wouldn't you? Or do you buy on the sales talk?

      The old Romans had a saying 'Caveat emptor' (Let the buyer beware) It's still valid.

    • Ichierzen posted the right answer to that, 7 minutes ago.

  • They're either taken by someone that found them, alone because they don't get noticed, or are in the process of learning to be an asshole so they get some success with women for once.

    That being said, they aren't very likely to be interested in a girl that prematurely hates them. Might want to work on that one.

    • i went into it liking him and left hating him due to HIS actions. he caused all this hatred.

    • Show All
    • *guys suck

    • That's precisely my point. You're going to meet guys and automatically assume they suck. No self-respecting nice guy is going to have anything to do with you, and the guys that suck don't care what you think. It's not as though you can tell right away whether a guy is nice or not, which means you're going to give of a disrespectful, hateful vibe to any guys you come across. Regardless of what happened in your past, you are now the problem with finding nice guys, not the guys themselves.

  • you really shouldn't put me in that group, I'm not like other guys, I've passed up getting laid a few times because I'm not that kind of guy.

    you're judging us all based on the bad judgment you made.

    you got played and now its easier for you to blame all men for being assholes than it is to admit that you made a stupid mistake.

    this happens so often they even made a movie out of it.

    • i'm a nice guy, ask anyone on this site, if they know me, they'll tell you.

    • I'm sure you are. but you don't represent all guys unfortunately. there are more jerks than nice ones

    • i know... I hate it, those assholes ruin it for the real good guys like me.

      they hurt girls and make them suspicious and untrusting of men in general.

      i'm always honest tho, as you can see from my answer.

  • I know many genuinely nice guys. girls don't like them though. reap what you sow. lol.

    • Some girls seem to believe that jerkish guys are more fun.

    • i have never dated a guy that was a jerk right off the bat. but they always turn into the jerk a few months down the line

  • Being genuine is something that is rare in the society we live in. Being genuine is suicide, it is getting hurt, it is being alone. I always tell the truth even when I lie.

    • Maybe you are not looking hard enough, maybe you over look a lot of guys because you think they are not hot enough. Well to tell you the truth the hotter a guy is the more likely he is to be a player. If he can have almost as many chicks as he wants why wouldn't he? I give you an example link

    • trust me, I don't care about appearance. the guy that I'm referring to above was not that attractive but he had a "good" personality. he made me laugh. plus he was shorter than me if that says anything to you

  • people in general are bad; the gender doesn't matter.

  • i'm really a nice guy

    • you're part of the minority on that one

  • well I had the reverse and she put me in the hospital because I couldn't understand her anymore so don't feel bad your not alone

  • Go for the jerk, in the end they will show you more respect then the "I'm such a boring nice guy with no backbone, why won't anyone love me" guy.

    From what I hear most from all these whiny nice guys on forums, is if you are the type to get women, have confidence & don'tgive 2 sh*ts what anyone else thinks about you, "your a jerk, or douche. All the rest are nice guys.

  • well are you a genuinely and truly nice girl?

    or are you just pretending for an ego boost?

    well then if you are nice and not pretending there is bound to be maybe just one more guy like that on this globe for you...

    • I am a nice girl lol. I would never deliberately hurt anyone. I'm always polite and caring. so what is wrong with me that I'm attracting the wrong type?

    • ever hear of lasik surgery?

      you need love lasik surgery...this is not a put down

      the men you think are so nice and everything in the beginning and turn into jerks...well they are actually jerks in the beginning also but are just good at it...only way to eliminate it is to get decoder glasses or ask a guy like me how to figure it out earlier

What Girls Said 4

  • disagree.

    boys are just as confusing as girls are

    there just as bitchy as girls are

    there like girls in strange ways

    you just have to figure them out

    get to know them

    give them what they want to an extentshow them their boundries

    you have to show them you're not to be f***ed with and when you want to be with them you're the only one theyre going to be with

    you have to seperate the "jerks" from the "nice guys"

    its really just a matter of opinion, who the jers are and who the nice guys are

    nice guys aren't always the best guys either

    you can't just generalize every guy and say you hate all of them

    theres someone for you


    • i know he's out there, but where is he?! lol. so tired of running into frogs that do not turn into princes

    • well. you learn from your mistakes I guess. don't date a lot of guys because every guy will turn out to be a jerk if they just wanna get some or whatever

      i had the same problem last year

      i haven't dated a guy in a while because I make sure the guy won't turn out to be a d***head

  • Whoa, now not all guys are like that..There are plenty of terrible women out there, not saying that includes either of us, but hey some guys do deserve a chance and should not be put in the "douche bag" category. Just as in really good women, great guys are randomly placed. There aren't specific areas with more or less.

    • i can't seem to meet a nice guy. I always meet the worst kind, the ass that pretends to be the nice boy next door type

    • Hmmmm I have had lots of bad oes, but am with a fantastic one right now. I know you're feeling of hatred. It will blow over soon enough. Maybe you should try to learn how to read guys and not fall for the fake ones?

    • i'm not going to lie, I am full of hatred towards the male species at this moment

  • u can't say the all apples are rotten, when u've just ate some that turned out to be rotten.

    • where are the good ones? because I sure haven't met any

  • The fact that you spent 10 min thinking of posting this question and another 5 for writing it & probably months/years for having such feelings towards boys>>> It means you really want them in your life but you just don't admit it. It's SAFER and EASIER to have such feelings of hatred :)

    • what are you talking about? I don't understand. I do want them in my life, I just can't find the right type

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