Why do men flip their guilt around on women?

[Anonymous]

I’m not understanding when men cheat or do something crazy.. why they flip their guilt towards women as if they are at fault?

Updates:

[knottywriter]

So the first thing about this question is that it can go either way. Men flip their guilt on women just as women flip their guilt on men. The answer as to why is it is actually an abusive trait that tends to be found in a lot of narcissistic behaviors but the primary goal is to be in control. By making the opposite partner feel guilty the abuser can retain control of the situation. "I may have cheated but it's your fault" or "I had to go buy a new gaming system because you were out shopping for new clothes spending all my money and ignoring me." I've heard pretty lame excuses honestly for just about everything but it has always been about "don't look at what I did, look at what you did." By making the partner feel like they are the guilty one, the abuser gets away with the inappropriate act that brought up the situation to begin with. This is never okay. I've been cheated on by a partner and her excuse was well you should have tried doing some fantasy she had with me. She had never told me about it and I am pretty open to trying things and would have eagerly done what she wanted. But to turn around and say it's my fault that you cheated is wrong. I didn't make you cheat. You could have come and talked to me and said hey this is what I feel and something I want to try... what do you think? It's that easy but some people don't even try the communication process. But it truly is a behavior of control and manipulation to make the abuser feel better about themselves and make the partner feel like they were wrong for even bringing it up. It allows the abuser to get away with it and enabling the behavior to happen again in the future because they know they can control and deflect onto the partner they are now emotionally abusing.

[KenReidCoach]

There is only ONE kind of man or even woman who would do this and wouldn't take responsibility for it and that's a person with Narcisissitic Personality Disorder. If a guy blames their partner as for their reason for cheating then that is a HUGE no no. That man will never respect or take responsibility for their action. They are deeply entitled and will not feel any sense of shame for their actions because they are DEEPLY ashamed of who they are.

[Account]

I don't know and I don't care. Anyone who attempts to make me feel guilty, can't be in my life. They are toxic and I have low tolerance for toxic

[Yuushiro]

There are a number of reasons why:
1. Immaturity
2. Lack of ability to communicate what they want to say.
3. Denying the fact that they are guilty... therefore you must be guilty.

Etc.

The one I don't see brought up a lot is the fact that HOW you bring up the discussion can define his response. I've seen women yell at a dude for something, and the guy just get super defensive because the woman is yelling. That's one reason guys will blame things on the other person.
Another reason might be that he doesn't see that anyone's done anything wrong and that you're just acting butthurt for no reason.

One I had happen recently was that I had an incident with a friend, and she wanted me to admit that I was part of the problem. I agreed that I was, and said that she was also part of the problem though. She ignored the fact that i admitted to being part of the problem and said I was blaming it all on her.

Those are just the reasons that come to the top of my mind.

I hope this helped!

Y

[Finchie40]

Girls do this as well , it just comes down to most people in general can’t accept the fact that they are wrong so it’s easier to blame someone else for their actions , it’s a selfish trait because they know before hand it is wrong but they do it anyways and when they are caught red handed they immediately blame someone else for their actions they can’t just accept the fact that they are wrong? Example: a cheater caught red handed will automatically blame their partner or someone else for their actions , cuz they already know cheating is wrong but they do it anyways , so it’s easier to say it’s their fault instead of just saying I am a piece of shit

[GraceMarie01]

I KNOW RIGHT!!!

My last relationship, the guy cheated on me with his ex. When i asked him why he just kept saying, "I don't know" a whole bunch.

A week later i broke up with him and he started blaming me and telling me I did everything wrong, and he was barely at fault. Then he starts dating this 16 year old. . . the guy just turned 21. It's fucking illegal.

[HamburgerFries]

It's called the mirror technique. Women do it to men all the time. So we do it back to you so you can see what it's like.
by the way I have never cheated. And I don't care about wahmen.
And before anyone calls me incel don't bother. It means nothing to me. It's like the "word" mansplaining. It doesn't mean anything. If it's meant as an insult it doesn't have any affect on me.
Also people who use that word just assume the guy hasn't had sex with a woman. How do they know this? By the way we write our words? Hint: we write it that way to weed you idiots out 😂😂😂😂

[Ivory_Princess]

whenever I caught my ex cheating I blocked him from social media, changed my address and refused to speak with him ever. No contact.
I didn't want to hear his excuses, appologises, reasons blame or him trying to charm his way out of it.

[Alya_pillowprincess]

Cause they're ass holes who don't want to take responsibility. If you aren't happy in a relationship you break up with them THEN get with someone else. Not the other way around. 10000% the cheaters fault.

[triff]

Not all men do at least i don't think I do Woman always have the better open empathy Men panic in shame Twist the guilt to the Lady in the hope they analyse what is being said Are they right was it me The answer is an obvious one No Lady your not

[RawIronhide]

Be very careful, men aren't the only ones who do this but people do sometimes deny taking responsibility because it preserves their ego or their sense of self worth and competence whitch I would say on adverage is a closer held value to most men but long story short if you cheat you deserve no sympathy.

[Anonymous]

"Why do men always. . ."
"Why do women always. . ."

We are not all alike. Overgeneralizing simply makes it more difficult for you to form relationships because you approach them with unrealistic ideas and expectations about who they are.

[AdithyaR]

In experience I've had both male and female friends throw the blame on me for things they did wrong.
So doesn't seem like a gender thing, it's generally a clear sign if someone being manipulative, immature and toxic.

[kamalravi25]

That's what bad men do.
They don't want to be weak.
Saying sorry is a sign of weakness to women.
Women like tough n confident guys.
They will never say sorry even if they know its their own fault.

Bad women do the same.

[Saturnxox]

Because that is what humans do.
It is natural for us to blame everyone and everything but ourselves.

[Browneye57]

Cuz it IS their fault. Well, at least partially. The simple fact is, people cheat cuz they're missing something from their primary relationship. So while you cannot BLAME the victim of cheating, there is nearly always culpability for failures in the relationship.
The bottom line is that happy couples in love don't cheat.

[Nephilim000]

They don't want to accept responsibility for their actions. And by shifting the blame they hope to not hear about it in the future

[winterfox10]

The guy is embarrassed about his behavior and he's trying to find a way to justify it. Pride and ego make people do a lot of stupid things.

[Dave31989]

look at what trump does

when he knows he's wrong, he tries to blame others

to get the BLAME OFF OF HIM

[Not_Average]

Well they cheated for a reason. I don’t agree with cheating at all. I do think the reason as to why needs to be discussed in that scenario though. In other scenarios, it’s to evade responsibility so that that they don’t feel as guilty.

[boggboss]

Its a tool used by shit people to make out like they are not bad both men and women do this

[SavageGirl101]

Because they are pussys and don’t wanna admit to their wrongs.