Confused why guy I like makes me feel weird and uncomfortable yet comes off respectful?

Question

i like this guy who seems to like me too or maybe just wants to bang me. He makes a lot of weird comments to me about wanting threesomes with me and other girls and I've told him many times I'm not interested and that if I did have sex with him I want to be in a relationship with him. He seems respectful of my boundary of nothing sexual. We just make out when I see him. But he asks me sexual questions and makes sexual comments to me that make me feel uncomfortable and I don't know how to respond to them. He also asks me to spend the night at his place in his bed. Which I did about 5 times. Every time I did, it was the same routine. He would ask me to get naked, and I sleep naked anyways so I don't mind and he just caresses me without getting sexual. He doesn't pressure me. Then in the morning, and I mean first thing in the morning, he tells me how busy he is about to be and that he has plans and basically kicks me out in a nice way. We have never even had breakfast together because it really is the very first thing he says after we get out of bed each time. I'm confused why he asks me to spend the night if he knows he won't get sex from me then wants me to leave when morning comes. The whole thing is just weird and it makes me feel used and gross when I leave even though we didn't have sex or do anything sexual. I told him I don't want to spend the night anymore and that I find it weird we don't do anything the next day. He still asks me to hang out after I told him I'm not into him anymore. I'm super confused why he still bothers talking to me after I said I don't want to date him anymore. I can't figure out what his intentions are or why he does and says what he does. What does this mean? Is he respectful and nice? Or just an asshole? I can't tell but it doesn't make me feel very good.

Answer 1

GingerGuy | 3.5K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

If it was just "respectful and nice", you wouldn't be uncomfortable. So time to cut off ALL ties. Tell him again you're not interested and you've decided that you're not a match and you wish him well, then that's it. Don't talk to him again. Unless you want to be friends, but if so, make that very clear. No more spending the night or sexual things (naked and caressing is sexual).

Twocherries

26 d
Thanks for your teply. I'm not asking for advice. I'm asking what his actions MEAN.
GingerGuy

26 d
You're a fwbs to him. You're not sleeping together... yet. But like TheRealQuestion2 said, you actions suggest soon, or you might "give in" one of these times. His "respectful and nice" is patients. And/or he's just satisfied with the intimacy part of this for the time being (you naked in bed is better than nothing, even if no sex). You've told him you want to end it, but still talk to him, so if there's a chance, he'll still be there. You women can go get another guy tomorrow, but he won't find another women to fill your place as easily. When he asks you to hang out now (still), what do you say? Have you ever said yes? Like I say, time to cut off ALL ties I think. So this MEANS you are being used (like you feel), and he's not going to give up as long as you're still talking to him and/or he feels like you might give in one of these times, and/or in a moment of weakness. So it's a bit of both, kind and asshole lol. He's not forcing himself on you, but also using you.

Answer 2

Twocherries

Thanks for your teply. I'm not asking for advice. I'm asking what his actions MEAN.

Answer 3

GingerGuy

You're a fwbs to him. You're not sleeping together... yet. But like TheRealQuestion2 said, you actions suggest soon, or you might "give in" one of these times. His "respectful and nice" is patients. And/or he's just satisfied with the intimacy part of this for the time being (you naked in bed is better than nothing, even if no sex). You've told him you want to end it, but still talk to him, so if there's a chance, he'll still be there. You women can go get another guy tomorrow, but he won't find another women to fill your place as easily. When he asks you to hang out now (still), what do you say? Have you ever said yes? Like I say, time to cut off ALL ties I think. So this MEANS you are being used (like you feel), and he's not going to give up as long as you're still talking to him and/or he feels like you might give in one of these times, and/or in a moment of weakness. So it's a bit of both, kind and asshole lol. He's not forcing himself on you, but also using you.

Answer 4

TheRealQuestion2

Xper 6

He wants sex. Honestly tho, your words are saying "no sex", but your actions dont match that. Spending the night says "maybe sex", sleeping in his bed says "probably sex", and sleeping naked in his bed screams "f*ck me already!". Yeah, he's grumpy in the mornings, your actions made him expect sex.

Twocherries

26 d
Thanks this makes sense

Answer 5

Twocherries

Thanks this makes sense

Answer 6

ColHathi | 322 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

I can understand not feeling good about that. I'm as confused as you are, lol. That sounds really strange.

Answer 7

Iron_Man | 6.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Just split up

Twocherries

26 d
We aren't together

Answer 8

Twocherries

We aren't together

Answer 9

Bidensucks2020

Xper 6

got to watch those

Twocherries

26 d
What do you mean?

Answer 10

Twocherries

What do you mean?

Confused why guy I like makes me feel weird and uncomfortable yet comes off respectful?

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