Of course. Men raised without fathers don't know how to be men more often then not. They are coddled by their mothers, take on their mothers neurotocism, become easily afraid, childish etc. because they get babied and are never forced to grow up. They become emotionally stunted because a father is the one that forces discipline upon the child, forces them to learn to control themselves and to put aside their comfort to do what is not wanted but what is necessary.
Others are held down by their mothers who refuse to allow them to grow up so they become prisoners in a fashion to their mothers who in their desperation not to be alone keep their son/s in a weird psuedo lover/child role (I don't mean that in an incesteous way but rather that because they have no man to be the provider, protector etc. they start pushing their own son into a similar role so that they can feel like they are not alone. This stunts the man and drives him insane more often then not (in the extreme cases you get the Ed Geins of the world).
If we look less personally at it, men (and women) raised without fathers are statistically more inclined towards criminality, academic failure, poverty, substance abuse, promiscuity (which sadly perpetuates the issue), and according to some studies even increases the risk of not just mental health problems but phsyical health problems like heart disease, stroke, and even cancer (more then likely due to their higher level of stress hormones like cortisol in their blood stream).
This is just right wing propaganda to promote family values. It has nothing to do with the gender of absent parent. Single father, single mother same increase of crime tendencies. Secondly young people who have college savings are more likely to go to college. Home owner single parents children also less likely to engage in criminal activities. Ergo single parent kids don't struggle in life because they miss daddy but because of financial inequality. Don't get me wrong it isn't nice to grow up without a father and I actually support the family value thingy but not by spreading false information.
@J2ohhhhh That is factually incorrect. We have not only longitudanal studies and meta data on the subject, we also have cross cultural data as well showing this. This is an absolute fact, claiming its "right wing propaganda" is a meaningless statement because you stating something is propaganda has no impact on whether or not it is and again, scientific data shows this is the case, their is no question about it.
@J2ohhhhh I provided my argument and you provided no evidence or argument what so ever. So if you want an argument fine, if it was poverty then we would see MORE whites doing these things then blacks, we would see more hispanics doing this then blacks because their are more poor whites in this country then poor blacks (because they are a larger population (and if you think that all white people have money then not only are you racist, you have never seen the real world (go to apalachia, southern illinois, large portions of florida and the south and you will find plenty of poor white people (they are every where but those places they are in high concentration)). Yet that is not what we see.
We would also have seen all of this happening for all of history yet in the 50s blacks were more likely to be employed, more likely to be a highschool graduate, college graduate (with the exception of black women who having more opportunities then anyone actually graduate at high rates), more likely to own their own business, and were less likely to be arrested for violent crimes and robberies compared to today.
Further we have seen that the more fatherlessness we see in the black community the more of these symptoms listed we see occuring, i. e. its occuring at identical rates which is highly improbable that they are purely coincedental.
Immigrants who are poor statistically earn more, in fact they are far less likely to commit a crime, far more likely to succeed and far more likely to make good money and move up the economic ladder hence out of the top five highest earning groups in the country the top three are all Asians (indian, thai, and Filipino).
@J2ohhhhh If it was racial then African immigrants would have to be fairing equally badly yet African immigrants (with the execption of somali immigrants) not only fair better then native born blacks, they actually out earn most white americans, earning an average of 20,000 more a year then the average American and are less likely to commit crimes as well.
So if it was poverty we would see other populations that are impoverished suffering the same things, we don't. If it was poverty we would see that for the entire duration of time that they were poor this would be occuring, we don't. If this was poverty, we wouldn't be able to mark the trend of their decline (meaning they started better off then they are now so clearly not a poverty issue) with the increase in fatherlessness. If it was poverty then we wouldn't see routinely other groups managing to not only avoid all of these issues, but to also lift themselves out of poverty to become the dominant economic groups in the country. If it was racism we would see African immigrants in the same situation as native born blacks yet they consistently fair better thus showing it is not racism. So that is the argument, the evidence, and the facts (none of which you will likely accept because this is simply how this always goes with only a couple of exceptions).
I didn't say racism I said inequality. If you have to pay for education the kids whose parents are not able to pay will be disadvantaged (inequality). I didn't name a reason why they are in inequality. But if you really wanna bring it up hold my beer. You said there are more poor white kids than poor black kids because there are more white kids. If you really think about this the same applies to single parent house holds for the exact same reason. And the ratio is basically the same. There are about 4.5times more white kid, yet only 2 times more poor white kids or white kids in single parent household. You cannot really distinguish difference between children in single parent household and in powerty because one if not the consequences of the other but increases the likelihood to a significant extent.
66% of black kids are from single parent household and 46% of them lives in powerty. Yet only 9.9% of black kids live in powerty with two parents household. It means that 64.59% of black kids who live in a single parent household are also living in powerty. What means single parent household black kids are 6.52 times more likely to live in powerty than black kids in two parents households. You cannot distinguish single parenthood from powerty. And from that moment it is questionable whether the absence of the father or poverty is the main cause of higher crime tendencies.
The rate of single parent households were increasing, so do violent crimes. However since the early nineties violent crimes are decreasing yet single parent households just keep increasing. Funfact though that powerty rate hit it's highest in 1993 the same year when violent crimes were peeking. Hence the curbe of violent crimes is fallowing the curbe of powerty rate not the single parent household.
@J2ohhhhh No you didn't say racism, but that was what you were getting at and we both knew it so I just preempted you. As for the rest of your statement, your an idiot. First and foremost, no, the average number of whites born out of wedlock is like 28%, for hispanics its 35% or so, for blacks its 74%. We also know that the more fatherlessness we see the worse it gets i. e. one person without a father who knows plenty of other people with fathers fairs better then one who doesn't (which is what we see in the black community). So on both accounts you are wrong (unsurprising).
As for the violent crimes decreasing your ignoring reality (again, unsurprising) as crime OVER ALL has been decreasing due to multiple factors yet its been minimal within black communities. We have seen a drop but that started in the 90s due to INCREASED POLICING of those areas, as well as harsher sentences for crimes which kept criminals in prison for longer. So again, you are wrong (I hope your getting use to that). You dont get to ignore some data and accept others thats not a valid argument.
Any way I'm done speaking to you, your an idiot who will never accept reality and I do not have the patience to sit here and argue that reality is in fact reality with some one who is not interested in the truth only pushing their political and ideological agenda.
People are too quick to place blame. They see something they don't like and feel a need to legitimize it somehow. Though blame doesn't change the facts, people seem to feel it eases the discomfort, at least slightly.
We are who we choose to be. We're not lumps of clay to be molded by others. Yes, an absent parent is an additional challenge to face. We all face challenges throughout our lives. It's up to us to determine what we'll do with those challenges.
People talk about ideals, like kids are better off with both parents. Kids are better off with stable parents apart than unstable parents together. Without stability, it's harder for us to lay down our guard and focus on our own growth, but that doesn't make it impossible.
We can blame our parents (or any other thing) for who we are, but then we're always looking back and dragging an anchor through life. On the other hand, we can admit we have been influenced by our parents, determine the person we wish to be and then move in that direction. Whatever direction we focus is the direction we will go. Being critical of the negative will give you more negative; Being appreciative of the positive will give you more positive.
Let's not find excuses for ourselves or others and accept people as they choose to be. We don't have to associate with them if we don't like what we see, but others are just as unlikely to change for us as we are to change for them.
I never heard about men having daddy issues. I heard girls have daddy issues and men have mommy issues because girls are daddy's girls and boys are mama's boys. This affects how they view marriage also. Girls with daddy issues become feminists and men with mommy issues become incels because mother is the first impression of women for a son and a father is the first impression of men for a daughter. Overall, their marriage is also the first impression of marriage, love and relationships.
Even according to science, a father will pass on his illness to his daughter and mother will pass on her illness to her son.
P. S. I appreciate you inviting me to so many questions even though I am 10 years younger than you. You still value my opinion. It makes me feel like I need to come up with a really good answer to live up to your expectations. I try my best to respond, give a satisfactory answer or at least like the question. 🙂
Honestly I have a great father who I respect and love, and I have to say I wouldn't be the same without him. He's taught me plenty of things my mother never could and he filled a role in my childhood that my mother could never fill. I love my mom too, she is a great mom but the fact is that if the father is positively involved in a kids life then the kid is gonna be better off. I have some family where the mother kept the father from her kids and demonized him to them. He was a great father, always paid his child support and I've even seen him go days without eating to save money to get them gifts. Despite this his kids treat him with no respect because their mother is a bitch who keeps filling their heads with lies because if they ever decided to live with him she wouldn't get a child support check. He hardly sees his kids despite wanting to. So he's been mostly absent from their lives. And 3/5 of those kids smoke 2/5 drink and do drugs, and 1of them had a pregnancy scare already. So it might sound a bit fucked up but me and my sibling turned out better then they did and I for me at least I say that's because I had a father in my life and my mom wasn't a bitch
I am not sure. In my country, divorce is extremely rare. My parents have never loved me, I didn't get much from them but disapproval and hate. I have emotional issues, but if anything I protect men and women who can't defend themselves, rather than hitting anyone.
I don't think I'm a bad person, even though I have lived a difficult life and I'm only 26. I was born with ADHD and I have some symptoms of borderline personality disorder ever since I was 6-7 (I don't remember anything before that). I remember crying every night to sleep, and I had some weird experiences of someone squeezing my toe every night but no one was ever there, maybe I was hallucinating.
As a child, I lived in a violent neighborhood and got beaten up every other month by my own best friend, who I'd forgive the next day because I was an idiot and so socially challenged that I failed to understand that you're not supposed to be friends with people who beat you up.
Sometimes there'd be kind of gang wars (you could say) in the area, between two different ethnicities, who belonged to two different political parties as well. As a result, the police would throw tear gas whenever the gangs would create chaos. I experienced my first tear gas when I was 8-9, I wasn't part of a gang though.
At about 9-10, I got molested 2 times on a bus, while my mother was sitting 3-4 seats back. The molester just asked me if he can slip his hands in my pants, I said yes. Once for a whole month I got molested every night by an older cousin, he'd lie on top of me and rub our dicks together, I'd try and stop him but he won't listen so easily.
My extended family on both sides did not like me, every single one of my cousins would just ignore me everytime my mother's whole extended family gathered. As for my father's side of my extended family, I haven't met them much because they live in other cities, and they don't really like me because I left my family's religion, and quite publicly.
When I was 11-13, my father worked everyday and quite hard, after he had lost his business. He'd do physical labor the whole day and bring groceries, so there'd be food, my mother wouldn't use the groceries to cook anything though, so me and my siblings would often go without food for days. It was a dark time in my life, the apartment building we used to live in didn't have running water for more than a few hours, I'd go down 3 floors through the stairs everyday and fill 3 gallons of water. After every 3 gallons, one person would be able to take a bath. So, I'd go down again and fill up more and more gallons and bring them up to the 3rd floor every morning. On top of that, everyday, we'd only have electricity for about half the day, but that was a countrywide problem.
At 14-15, I made a friend. He was a popular guy and I don't really know why he befriended me. We were quite close but he was very controlling and I was desperate for a friend. He emotionally abused the hell out of me for years. Around that time I dated a girl who was quite unstable, and long story short, she thought I was cheating on her and told this one guy that I was asking for his girlfriend's number, that guy started a whole drama, came around with a friend of his, who was a gang member of a gang that basically functioned as a group that did the dirty work for one of the political parties in my country. Quite surprisngly, nothing happened and we talked things out, it could've gone in a very wrong direction for me though.
Around the age of 16-17, one of my cousins moved from the UAE to my country. I got quite close to him. By then, my parents had pretty much disowned me, I just lived with them. I had to rely on this cousin to buy clothes, and most of the other important stuff that everyone needs. He was very good to me, and I helped him build up his confidence and self-esteem, made him a man from a boy, because I loved him like a brother.
When I was 19, I made an online friend (she lived in the US) and it was like love at first sight. After a short time of friendship, she poked and messaged me one night on Facebook at 2:58am, I poked back but did not reply to her message and went to sleep. I woke up the next day and replied back, then I went to her wall and read a post, it was a suicide note, and it was timed at 3:00am, 2 minutes after I ignored her. I have not been able to forgive myself for that, and that guilt will live with me forever. I don't know why she committed suicide, but I should've been there to listen. Her suicide plunged me into depression and I gained quite a lot of weight then.
About 2 years after that when I was 21, I came home one day from my high school exams and found my father lying on the floor, I asked my mother what had happened and she basically said I don't know and told me to not annoy her. My father and mother never liked each other. I called the ambulance and took my father to the hospital, some elders from my extended family came to the hospital as well, so my mother popped up at the hospital too, and started crying and all about how was she was so sad.
I plunged further into my depression and gained even more weight, tried to join the army but they didn't take me because I weighed too much. I was at a terrible point in my life then and felt pathetic. It became worse though, because my brain decided to sexualize my patheticism. I got into weird fetishes that I don't even want to speak of.
Around when I was 23, I made an online friend in one of the darkest places of the internet. She was a feminist, and helped build me backup by basically becoming my therapist, she did this for years without ever asking for anything in return. I owe her my life because I was thinking quite a lot about suicide in those days.
But just when you think it can't get worse, it gets worse. One day, my sister came home and my mother started beating her, because my mother suspected she was out with a boy, and the boy didn't belong to the religious sect of Islam that my family belonged to, and that is a major no-no. I defended my sister and that night we went to sleep.
The next day I woke up to my sister's screams, I ran and defended her from my mother again. This time I pushed my mother to the ground for hitting my sister. My brother was home all this time, by the way. He didn't care enough to do anything though, I think he was playing a game on his phone.
So, I threatened my mother, told her that if she hits my sister again, than there would be consequences. I left and went to a cousin's house (the one who moved to my country from the UAE), and asked him if me and my sister could come live with them, and he enthusiastically said yes. So, I took my sister to their house, we stayed one night. The next day, these cousins of mine and their mother, who were so close to me, kicked me and my sister out on the road.
I had no idea what to do, so I asked my sister and she said that I should get her married to the boy she was out with, so I did that. The boy came through, he really did love her. I left her at his home, where he lived with his family. I decided not to stay there because it seemed so inappropriate. So now, I was homeless.
Word got around, and the religious sect that my family belonged to officially removed my sister from the community, because it's not allowed to marry outside of the religious sect. Since, I helped arrange my sister's marriage, I was kicked out as well. I didn't care though. I never cared for religion anyways.
After almost a day of homelessness, I got a call from one of my cousins from my father's side, and apparently she knew what had happened. She asked me to come to her city and live with her family for the time being. So, that's what I did. I was wearing filthy clothes at that time, borrowed money from someone and hopped on the train for a 22 hour ride to her city. The city she lived in was also the worldwide center of the religious sect that my family belonged to.
I was suspicious of why she offered me to stay with her and her family though, because they were highly religious, and since I just got kicked out of the religious sect all of us belonged to, it was odd. Family or not, people become lifelong enemies of those who leave the religious sect.
After living at her home for a few days, I decided to visit the religious sect's head office and asked them if me and my sister could come back into the community. The man I met to talk with was very high up the chain of command, he told me that he was happy I was kicked out of the religious sect and he hoped that it stayed that way. So I left, realizing that nothing can be done, I wanted me and my sister to get back into the sect, just to appease my immediate family and cool things down.
Living with my cousins family, I realized soon enough that I was called there for a purpose, that I didn't know of. I got anxious, and worried that perhaps my immediate family was going to try and get my sister back through force (It can be done, because women don't have many rights in my country).
Once I got on the train to go back to my city, I was made aware that my sister had decided to hold a marriage ceremony to which my family was invited to, but she didn't bother to invite me, that was quite a blow. Later on, I found out she put the blame on me for the whole thing and told everyone that she didn't even want to marry anyone.
I still went back to my city and looked for a friend there, the popular guy who emotionally abused me, because I had no one else to go to. I went to his home and he offered me a job, I accepted. But I still had no place to live.
So, I decided to play dirty, and chose to blackmail my family (how I did that is another story), and they caved. I went back to my immediate family's home and they were forced to keep me. I started working for the dad of the popular friend of mine, but when it came time for my first salary after a month of work, they only gave me about 35% of what they were supposed to. That amounted to about 30$. I left that job.
Then I decided to blackmail my family more harshly, and they caved again. I've been living with them for years now and I have them right by the balls. I never had it in me to be as ruthless as I am now. Soon enough, I'll be moving to Turkey to study, and I'll be making my family pay for the whole thing. Once I'm well settled in Turkey, I'll cut them off and never contact them again.
The point of telling you this whole story is that it doesn't matter whether you had a single mother or a single father, or no one. It doesn't matter how you were raised. Who you become is who you choose to become, despite the challenges.
Lynx122 | 379 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Guru
28 d
Yes it's a lot harder. As they say boys have to become men and if you have nobody to show you the way it's a long hard and lonely road. I did have a dad but he didn't teach me much of anything.
I often felt very alone in trying to figure out what my role was even supposed to be, what people expected of me and what were fair and good expectations and which ones were ones I should push back against etc. There's so many people who think they can just decide what a man is and push their view of it on you just to get you to do what they want you to do.
But at the same time if you reject all the responsibility then it just leaves a lot of emptiness and lack of purpose. That's why it's important to have a role model to know where to draw the line. I feel like I still have a lot to learn.
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someginger | 214 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Yoda
29 d
Well as someone who didn't have much of a dad growing and some people in my family also don't.
It goes one of 2 ways eother it maoes them stronger or it makes them stupid. I personally believe it has made me stronger, since pretty much any man thing i had to learn on my own and i had to learn how to stand on my own two feet.
But many people without a strong male role model tend to get into drugs and crime.
So yeah just depends on the person, generally it's better to have the dad around assuming is he a good dad/person.
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AndrewMG | 103 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Yoda
27 d
My Dad wasn't absent but was in the Navy and worked on Nuclear submarines so I'd go months without seeing him when he was on duty as a youngster. It's probably affected my Dad more than me as he's a hard man that isn't comfortable expressing feelings, but we have our moments, I had a beer with him just before the pandemic struck and halfway during the night he tapped me awkwardly on the arm, that was the equivalent of him telling me he loved me and giving me a hug lol. So I love him to pieces and understand why him working away from home was his way of providing for our family-but we're both too male to admit that we love each other lol
It doesn’t matter. Many times even a child’s father isn’t man enough. Most times in fact.
A father needs to be bold and confident, especially when his children are watching.
But that will only teach the children to respect their father. That’s it. That doesn’t make the children strong or bold.
Lacking the father isn’t the issue here. It’s the lack of exposure to social fear.
ANY man needs to face their fears, especially social fears. They need to face it all and learn from it and keep improving.
And they also need to understand that facing that kind of fear is necessary, they can’t become confident if they try to run away from those fear. They need to accept that it will be difficult but will be fruitful in the long run and they need to face it with all their might.
So I don’t agree that the child will be unable to become a complete man due to a lack of his father.
It happens because of lack of exposure to social fear
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John_Galt | 61 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Xper 6
28 d
Without a father in the house... A male is 10x as likely to quit school. 5x as likely to go to prison. 8x as likely to have a child out of wedlock “and perpetuate the cycle” 2x as likely to Be abusive to women. this list goes on and on.
the data is clear on this, the best advantage a child can have... is not money, it’s not Social standing, it’s not a higher IQ, it’s not being a certain skin color. IT IS HAVING TWO PARENTS IN THE HOME!!!
@Bluemax no doubt... to me it’s very simple, anything that by intent or by side effect, that destroys the nuclear family! Will create nothing but human suffering. that sounds hyperbolic... but at some point we have got to pick our ground and fight this culture war and the nuclear family sounds like a good spot to me!!
I see the effects it's having on my nephew and his mother. Not good. Shuffled around from place to place, being raised by his mom and his grandparents. The last time I saw him on Halloween things were sad for him.
@Bluemax I hear you man. That sucks. there are a lot of people suffering these days. all we can do is help out the people close to us and try to educate our communities.
My dad died when when I was a teenager, I wish I had someone to show me and tell me a bout guy stuff but had to basically learn on my own. I mean I was raised with women around me and they did great but a male figure would of been better to teach me.
Women can explain about guy parts but can't really know fully as they arnt them. It's like a father explaining to the daughter about women stuff.
I don't know if having my dad around more would of changed me more in my adult life but would still of liked it.
I've had no male role model really in my life vs
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Finchie40 | 558 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Yoda
28 d
I am pretty sure it takes an impact on their lives , even though most people hate to admit it but we tend to have a lot of characteristics from our parents whether we like it or not. Ever hear someone say you act just like your Mom or Dad? They are telling you the truth even though we might get upset and think I am nothing like them! The reality of it is we are , so yes not having a father or mother in your life can definitely have an impact on how someone is. I notice a lot of guys that didn’t have a father growing up tend to be on the feminine side , almost like they are gay , A guy that grows up without a Mom role model tends to be a women hater , This happens to girls that go through the same , I dated a girl that grew up not having a father , she pretty much just hated men period and automatically didn’t trust them so yes it is very possible that it can effect and make an impact on their lives and how they act
I think in either case whether it be a son or a daughter, an absent parent will definitely have an affect on them whether it be a father or a mother.
That's not to say they'll all go completely off the rails, but there is that feeling of longing for the absent parent, asking yourself why they left, etc.
I don't know the specific ill-effects, but I'm sure that it's more ideal to have both parents who are positive, stable influences on their child's development than to have either missing or one or both chaotic. That being said, a man/child can always rise above harmful or pernicious effects of his environment and strive to better how he acts every day.
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Bluemax | 468 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Guru
28 d
An absent father can have near calamitous effects on boys.
A good man teaches boys how to be men. A good man models a good relationship between a man and a woman. A good man models how to raise good children.
And so on.
Consider that the jails are *filled* with men raised without fathers.
Absoloutly. Your father is who you look up to, and who sets the first standards in one's life. A father takes the shit to do the right thing even when no one likes it, and you can't get that same result from a young man modeling himself off his mother. It also messes up the family heirarcy to not have a father, as there is no one for the mother to accept provision while she focuses on nurturing and growing things.
I think there's too many factors involved to say one way or another... Ideally a two parent family is considered the best for children... But that's not always the reality... And living in a two parent family where there's constant fighting or abuse is far more damaging than living in a one parent household where there isn't... And not all behavior is a result of upbringing alone...
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RolandCuthbert | 239 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Guru
29 d
Well, it is an issue in the "Black" community. I am thankful to my now deceased father for giving me a stable environment for growing up. Without that, I would not be who I am today.
The weird thing is. . . this is framed as a political or a racial issue. When it is specific to the African-American community with no regard to political affiliation.
Well, in the "White" community. . . I thought it was framed differently. Mostly what I hear is that it is used as a way to control men. I actually get told a lot that dead beat dads don't exist. It is a term made up by feminists.
It can. But not as a rule, having a father is always good and benefitial for a boy, but it isn't all over for him to not have one. My own father passed when I was four, and I still turned out alright, thanks in no small part to my fiercely loving but also strict and disciplined mother.
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iseekpinetrees | 96 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Xper 6
28 d
Half yes half no. Some mothers are manly lol. From my experiences it doesn't matter if the father was in someone's life or not. I've met good guys without fathers and bad guys with fathers. So it just depends on their life experiences. It doesn't always take a good parent to make a good person. Many come from shifty situations.
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WhiteGlaze | 55 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Xper 6
29 d
Sure, but doesn't mean better or worse. I had a dad most of my life but didn't teach me anything, except how to grill and lie. And the effects of cheating, also how easily people are persuaded. My mom hasn't been much better though, but she means well and teaches how to follow the rules and be white and not productive. Unintentionally of course she's just grown to be scared of social interactions and rely on family for everything which haults a lot of things for me mostly. Anyway I say parents dont matter in your upbringing or they do. But it all depends in how they were raised that effects whether they are helpful to you. Its a domino effect from when where and how they were raised to you. Just always focus on getting a sense of the whole world around you and get out there. Do things with random people. Learn cultures, experience things noone else could. Thats how you come out better as an individual. Learn for yourself.
Bet. I appreciate my mom for what she's done but if she didn't spend most of my teen years playing online mmos and actually got involved with my life in ways that mattered instead of ignoring I had a life outside of home. I'd talk about girls as I was losing my mind trying to just talk to them and noone knew what to do but eventually yell. Maybe I'd had a girlfriend once if they'd had a clue. Maybe I'd understood the dynamics of males and females and groups of people I wasn't used to. Maybe I'd had reason to give a damn about school if my life wasn't lived on video games as that is what I had for inspiration. Bet dude. I'm greatful to live with enough for what we have. But we have no connection. They barely have a sense of reality, they lived by statistics and ignorance. Our dynamic works better these days but looking back this is what I learned.
Don't take this the wrong way but after 18 your parents aren't responsible for your life or you're actions. So past 9 years it's all on you. What you should done turning 18 was become a man. Be part of the solution by getting a job. Not playing videogames. We all played videogames but we still has life outside. Get mentorship. Sign up with YMCA CLUBS. many ways to do things positivelty. Don't doubt yourself you're doing great. Am harsh myself to my life. If I don't fail and learn from my mistakes how will I learn life. If I don't take chances and get into fights and learn how to fight when am younger how will I learn to defend myself when older. You get my drift. So again thank you for sharing really appreciate it. It take guys to vulnerable something am still fighting within my own demons lol. You taught me something tonight.
Anpu23 | 587 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Guru
29 d
I do, as do most psychologists. The issue is the lack of good strong male role models. Empathy is shown to be taught by fathers, not mothers article and things such as work ethic and grit often come from the fathers influence.
That's very interesting, i did not know that empathy was taught by fathers, you would be led to believe the opposite. But actually it makes sense.
MrOracle | 3.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Master
28 d
Absolutely! A man growing up without a male role model is going to be "lost" in many ways, and he's likely to be insecure, and he is likely to go to one extreme or another to try to prove himself or to try to win male praise that he didn't get as a child. It's a huge problem.
There's also the issue that something like 82% of men who are felons grew up without a father in the home. The correlation between no father and crime is crazy high.
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OlderAndWiser | 2.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Master
29 d
A father teaches a boy how a man treats others, how he earns respect, and how he can respect authority and still be a proud man. Yes, the statistics tell us that kids who grow up in a home with two parents have much better outcomes than those who grow up in single parent homes.
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Gedaria | 1.5K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Master
29 d
I have always wanted to be a female, with 3, older sisters it was easy just to be another girl. Dad use to get stressed about it. Mum said he will grow out of it, wrong I'm still the same. But when he left and mum divorced him the house was so great. Even now I prefer female company than men...
Depends on who and how he was raised. Everything starts in childhood where the brain is being rapidly developed.
Every child can't have a father as some abandon their child or die when their child was very little or before he was born.
A badly raised child is almost certain will turn out as a loser as an adult.
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Jjpayne | 997 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Master
29 d
It's who they model after. Their father. But they can have other role models. Depending how many male role models they have in their life. If they have a decent supplement, there is no change at all. But lack of male role model can lead to a lack of confidence
If the mother educates the child correctly, there should not be any problem with having no father. It is hard, doesn't always go good, but a mother alone can teach his son everything he needs to know, including what the father would teach.
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I-C3_ME | 103 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Xper 6
28 d
Well my father's actions have forged a big part of my romantic mindset, like absolutely under no circumstances shall i ever cheat on my wife, nor shall i break the heart of my first born son (my brother).
Don't get me wrong i get it and understand that he didn't intent this outcome but i won't do the same. What can we do more then learn from our parent's mistakes, no?
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RemoErdosain | 259 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Yoda
27 d
As a guy without a father, I can say this post sucks balls, and everyone here patronizing me and talking out of their asses about a situation they can never fully understand makes me want to puke. If you had both of your parents growing up, good for you, but I know way too many idiots and bad people who grew up in a "nuclear family" to consider that I'm less than someone just based on that
Not sure who made you think that's how people perceive you, but clearly that's not what I read from the majority of comments. You are not worth less than someone who grew up in a 'nuclear family'. People are pointing out how important it is to have a good father guide a child. Also, many studies and statistics have been shared that reinforce that belief. By taking this as a personal attack, you're literally proving everyone's point. That you're emotionally unstable which can stem from the lack of a masculine (fatherly) guide. But all in all, pointing to exceptions to the rule doesn't disprove the rule itself.
Smoke-n-Growls | 98 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Yoda
28 d
It usually does, but some guys have a good grasp of those impacts and have worked to resolve them.
I've met men whose fathers ran off on them, but whose moms really stepped up and who essentially managed to make up for it by raising the boys to understand what's going on.
There's always an effect on a child of a parent abandoning them. But with proper treatment, care, and support, they can grow into very healthy and well-adjusted adults.
It might. No matter what having a missing parent affects a child one way or another, but the severity of it depends on the individual
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R3DthatDude | 179 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Explorer
29 d
A missing parent always effects a child. Parents are under rated. Parents are actually the most important people in the world. They shape and form future leaders, athletes, doctors, entertainers, etc. pick any person you consider great and see how they were raised.
My father wasn't much in my life he would go to bars instead of coming home from work and my mother would fight with him cause she would tell him that she would not have sex with a drunk and I would not wish anyone to live with my father he verbally abused me in 1994 he remarried a woman 15 years younger than himself and she's a real doozy to write home about and the way my father treated me I would never treat a woman like and wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy?
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cth96190 | 584 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Guru
29 d
Yes, it does. Seventy per cent of the prison population were raised by single mothers. A father is needed to provide a masculine role model and to kick arse as required.
jasco | 403 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Yoda
29 d
Yes a lot of guys and girls can be affected by not having a father matter of fact, if a person doesn't have a dad then she/he will not know how to treat/be a man later cause they have no role model to look up ti
My biological father was never in my life. Mother left him, met him when I was 20 hung out a couple times. He's a real pansy my mom told me why she left him I understood why she did don't blame her. My step dad was abusive did drugs and beat my mom. That really scarred me and my bros. When he was sober he was actually cool, it was the dope though that turned him into the devil he was in and out of our life. The things he did really did shape us and myself. I believe it made ms harder but softer, if that makes any sense. I will fight and get dirty but do have a soft side because of my mother. We also do have a look like he have been through some shit and people see that. You can tell by looking at someone if they love been through some really hard times.
Anyway yes If things don't work out with the baby daddy at least make an effort to keep him around your son in some way or form. we were designed to be raised by two completely different people to balance the child out.
Grond21 | 304 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Guru
29 d
This has been studied pretty extensively, and it turns out that the biggest predictor of success is growing up in a two parent household. And with out fathers, it radically affects the children.
Over 80% of those incarcerated in LA grew up without a father
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jennifer_bloom | 1K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Master
29 d
I think so yes - the guys I know who did not have fathers in their lives were usually violent and sexually disrespectful to woman - they behaved like callous psychopaths
Tunasub | 162 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Xper 7
29 d
I wouldn't know. I do know that there are some men that I know that we're raise by thier mother only and you would think his father was there the whole time. So I'll say it's the person not weather or not both parents were involve in upbringing.
monkeynutts | 514 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Guru
27 d
Yeah, it's terrible because they miss much out of life, having a broken family is very sad. They carry this missing part of their lives into adulthood.
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anon1903 | 224 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Yoda
29 d
That depends on if he's absence of overall male company. Good grandfather, friendly uncle Charlie, older brother, close male friends... may fill the gap.
@TruthBringer this is only half of it. I couldnt find another meme I had saved up that show all the modern mass shooters that were ironically raised by single mothers. I remember...
Most definitely... He's never been taught how to be "manly" or work on a car use a ratchet strap change oil/tire... He been taught how to be more feminine and open about his feelings... Men are sorry to say expected to shut down feelings n emotions while females are much more open... Toxic masculinity tbh
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Iron_Man | 6.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Master
27 d
Yes of course because he can go up to be a wild child
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winterfox10 | 3.7K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Master
29 d
Yes, absolutely. Having a shitty father, or no father at all can change how you respond to authority, handle responsibility... it can change absolutely everything.
Mehzmeh | 107 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
Xper 7
29 d
Well, for me having a absent biological egg donor had a little effect on me. But, my father was awesome. And made sure I, had positive females in my life. So I, wouldn't hate female's. Lol
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