@The_Sal Thank you.
I couldn't have said it better myself!
This is just right wing propaganda to promote family values. It has nothing to do with the gender of absent parent. Single father, single mother same increase of crime tendencies. Secondly young people who have college savings are more likely to go to college. Home owner single parents children also less likely to engage in criminal activities. Ergo single parent kids don't struggle in life because they miss daddy but because of financial inequality. Don't get me wrong it isn't nice to grow up without a father and I actually support the family value thingy but not by spreading false information.
@J2ohhhhh That is factually incorrect. We have not only longitudanal studies and meta data on the subject, we also have cross cultural data as well showing this. This is an absolute fact, claiming its "right wing propaganda" is a meaningless statement because you stating something is propaganda has no impact on whether or not it is and again, scientific data shows this is the case, their is no question about it.
@J2ohhhhh In short you can be wrong or you can accept the facts that what I stated is accurate, their is no other options.
Than prove wrong. Explain why inequality has no effect on ones upbringing. You just said you disagree, this os not how adults argue.
@J2ohhhhh I provided my argument and you provided no evidence or argument what so ever. So if you want an argument fine, if it was poverty then we would see MORE whites doing these things then blacks, we would see more hispanics doing this then blacks because their are more poor whites in this country then poor blacks (because they are a larger population (and if you think that all white people have money then not only are you racist, you have never seen the real world (go to apalachia, southern illinois, large portions of florida and the south and you will find plenty of poor white people (they are every where but those places they are in high concentration)). Yet that is not what we see. We would also have seen all of this happening for all of history yet in the 50s blacks were more likely to be employed, more likely to be a highschool graduate, college graduate (with the exception of black women who having more opportunities then anyone actually graduate at high rates), more likely to own their own business, and were less likely to be arrested for violent crimes and robberies compared to today.Further we have seen that the more fatherlessness we see in the black community the more of these symptoms listed we see occuring, i. e. its occuring at identical rates which is highly improbable that they are purely coincedental. Immigrants who are poor statistically earn more, in fact they are far less likely to commit a crime, far more likely to succeed and far more likely to make good money and move up the economic ladder hence out of the top five highest earning groups in the country the top three are all Asians (indian, thai, and Filipino).
@J2ohhhhh If it was racial then African immigrants would have to be fairing equally badly yet African immigrants (with the execption of somali immigrants) not only fair better then native born blacks, they actually out earn most white americans, earning an average of 20,000 more a year then the average American and are less likely to commit crimes as well. So if it was poverty we would see other populations that are impoverished suffering the same things, we don't. If it was poverty we would see that for the entire duration of time that they were poor this would be occuring, we don't. If this was poverty, we wouldn't be able to mark the trend of their decline (meaning they started better off then they are now so clearly not a poverty issue) with the increase in fatherlessness. If it was poverty then we wouldn't see routinely other groups managing to not only avoid all of these issues, but to also lift themselves out of poverty to become the dominant economic groups in the country. If it was racism we would see African immigrants in the same situation as native born blacks yet they consistently fair better thus showing it is not racism. So that is the argument, the evidence, and the facts (none of which you will likely accept because this is simply how this always goes with only a couple of exceptions).
I didn't say racism I said inequality. If you have to pay for education the kids whose parents are not able to pay will be disadvantaged (inequality). I didn't name a reason why they are in inequality. But if you really wanna bring it up hold my beer. You said there are more poor white kids than poor black kids because there are more white kids. If you really think about this the same applies to single parent house holds for the exact same reason. And the ratio is basically the same. There are about 4.5times more white kid, yet only 2 times more poor white kids or white kids in single parent household. You cannot really distinguish difference between children in single parent household and in powerty because one if not the consequences of the other but increases the likelihood to a significant extent.66% of black kids are from single parent household and 46% of them lives in powerty. Yet only 9.9% of black kids live in powerty with two parents household. It means that 64.59% of black kids who live in a single parent household are also living in powerty. What means single parent household black kids are 6.52 times more likely to live in powerty than black kids in two parents households. You cannot distinguish single parenthood from powerty. And from that moment it is questionable whether the absence of the father or poverty is the main cause of higher crime tendencies.The rate of single parent households were increasing, so do violent crimes. However since the early nineties violent crimes are decreasing yet single parent households just keep increasing. Funfact though that powerty rate hit it's highest in 1993 the same year when violent crimes were peeking. Hence the curbe of violent crimes is fallowing the curbe of powerty rate not the single parent household.In other words $$$>daddy.
@J2ohhhhh No you didn't say racism, but that was what you were getting at and we both knew it so I just preempted you. As for the rest of your statement, your an idiot. First and foremost, no, the average number of whites born out of wedlock is like 28%, for hispanics its 35% or so, for blacks its 74%. We also know that the more fatherlessness we see the worse it gets i. e. one person without a father who knows plenty of other people with fathers fairs better then one who doesn't (which is what we see in the black community). So on both accounts you are wrong (unsurprising).As for the violent crimes decreasing your ignoring reality (again, unsurprising) as crime OVER ALL has been decreasing due to multiple factors yet its been minimal within black communities. We have seen a drop but that started in the 90s due to INCREASED POLICING of those areas, as well as harsher sentences for crimes which kept criminals in prison for longer. So again, you are wrong (I hope your getting use to that). You dont get to ignore some data and accept others thats not a valid argument. Any way I'm done speaking to you, your an idiot who will never accept reality and I do not have the patience to sit here and argue that reality is in fact reality with some one who is not interested in the truth only pushing their political and ideological agenda.
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My extended family on both sides did not like me, every single one of my cousins would just ignore me everytime my mother's whole extended family gathered. As for my father's side of my extended family, I haven't met them much because they live in other cities, and they don't really like me because I left my family's religion, and quite publicly. When I was 11-13, my father worked everyday and quite hard, after he had lost his business. He'd do physical labor the whole day and bring groceries, so there'd be food, my mother wouldn't use the groceries to cook anything though, so me and my siblings would often go without food for days. It was a dark time in my life, the apartment building we used to live in didn't have running water for more than a few hours, I'd go down 3 floors through the stairs everyday and fill 3 gallons of water. After every 3 gallons, one person would be able to take a bath. So, I'd go down again and fill up more and more gallons and bring them up to the 3rd floor every morning. On top of that, everyday, we'd only have electricity for about half the day, but that was a countrywide problem.At 14-15, I made a friend. He was a popular guy and I don't really know why he befriended me. We were quite close but he was very controlling and I was desperate for a friend. He emotionally abused the hell out of me for years. Around that time I dated a girl who was quite unstable, and long story short, she thought I was cheating on her and told this one guy that I was asking for his girlfriend's number, that guy started a whole drama, came around with a friend of his, who was a gang member of a gang that basically functioned as a group that did the dirty work for one of the political parties in my country. Quite surprisngly, nothing happened and we talked things out, it could've gone in a very wrong direction for me though.
Around the age of 16-17, one of my cousins moved from the UAE to my country. I got quite close to him. By then, my parents had pretty much disowned me, I just lived with them. I had to rely on this cousin to buy clothes, and most of the other important stuff that everyone needs. He was very good to me, and I helped him build up his confidence and self-esteem, made him a man from a boy, because I loved him like a brother.When I was 19, I made an online friend (she lived in the US) and it was like love at first sight. After a short time of friendship, she poked and messaged me one night on Facebook at 2:58am, I poked back but did not reply to her message and went to sleep. I woke up the next day and replied back, then I went to her wall and read a post, it was a suicide note, and it was timed at 3:00am, 2 minutes after I ignored her. I have not been able to forgive myself for that, and that guilt will live with me forever. I don't know why she committed suicide, but I should've been there to listen. Her suicide plunged me into depression and I gained quite a lot of weight then.About 2 years after that when I was 21, I came home one day from my high school exams and found my father lying on the floor, I asked my mother what had happened and she basically said I don't know and told me to not annoy her. My father and mother never liked each other. I called the ambulance and took my father to the hospital, some elders from my extended family came to the hospital as well, so my mother popped up at the hospital too, and started crying and all about how was she was so sad.I plunged further into my depression and gained even more weight, tried to join the army but they didn't take me because I weighed too much. I was at a terrible point in my life then and felt pathetic. It became worse though, because my brain decided to sexualize my patheticism. I got into weird fetishes that I don't even want to speak of.
Around when I was 23, I made an online friend in one of the darkest places of the internet. She was a feminist, and helped build me backup by basically becoming my therapist, she did this for years without ever asking for anything in return. I owe her my life because I was thinking quite a lot about suicide in those days.
But just when you think it can't get worse, it gets worse. One day, my sister came home and my mother started beating her, because my mother suspected she was out with a boy, and the boy didn't belong to the religious sect of Islam that my family belonged to, and that is a major no-no. I defended my sister and that night we went to sleep.The next day I woke up to my sister's screams, I ran and defended her from my mother again. This time I pushed my mother to the ground for hitting my sister. My brother was home all this time, by the way. He didn't care enough to do anything though, I think he was playing a game on his phone. So, I threatened my mother, told her that if she hits my sister again, than there would be consequences. I left and went to a cousin's house (the one who moved to my country from the UAE), and asked him if me and my sister could come live with them, and he enthusiastically said yes. So, I took my sister to their house, we stayed one night. The next day, these cousins of mine and their mother, who were so close to me, kicked me and my sister out on the road. I had no idea what to do, so I asked my sister and she said that I should get her married to the boy she was out with, so I did that. The boy came through, he really did love her. I left her at his home, where he lived with his family. I decided not to stay there because it seemed so inappropriate. So now, I was homeless.Word got around, and the religious sect that my family belonged to officially removed my sister from the community, because it's not allowed to marry outside of the religious sect. Since, I helped arrange my sister's marriage, I was kicked out as well. I didn't care though. I never cared for religion anyways.
After almost a day of homelessness, I got a call from one of my cousins from my father's side, and apparently she knew what had happened. She asked me to come to her city and live with her family for the time being. So, that's what I did. I was wearing filthy clothes at that time, borrowed money from someone and hopped on the train for a 22 hour ride to her city. The city she lived in was also the worldwide center of the religious sect that my family belonged to. I was suspicious of why she offered me to stay with her and her family though, because they were highly religious, and since I just got kicked out of the religious sect all of us belonged to, it was odd. Family or not, people become lifelong enemies of those who leave the religious sect. After living at her home for a few days, I decided to visit the religious sect's head office and asked them if me and my sister could come back into the community. The man I met to talk with was very high up the chain of command, he told me that he was happy I was kicked out of the religious sect and he hoped that it stayed that way. So I left, realizing that nothing can be done, I wanted me and my sister to get back into the sect, just to appease my immediate family and cool things down. Living with my cousins family, I realized soon enough that I was called there for a purpose, that I didn't know of. I got anxious, and worried that perhaps my immediate family was going to try and get my sister back through force (It can be done, because women don't have many rights in my country).
Once I got on the train to go back to my city, I was made aware that my sister had decided to hold a marriage ceremony to which my family was invited to, but she didn't bother to invite me, that was quite a blow. Later on, I found out she put the blame on me for the whole thing and told everyone that she didn't even want to marry anyone.I still went back to my city and looked for a friend there, the popular guy who emotionally abused me, because I had no one else to go to. I went to his home and he offered me a job, I accepted. But I still had no place to live. So, I decided to play dirty, and chose to blackmail my family (how I did that is another story), and they caved. I went back to my immediate family's home and they were forced to keep me. I started working for the dad of the popular friend of mine, but when it came time for my first salary after a month of work, they only gave me about 35% of what they were supposed to. That amounted to about 30$. I left that job.Then I decided to blackmail my family more harshly, and they caved again. I've been living with them for years now and I have them right by the balls. I never had it in me to be as ruthless as I am now. Soon enough, I'll be moving to Turkey to study, and I'll be making my family pay for the whole thing. Once I'm well settled in Turkey, I'll cut them off and never contact them again.
The point of telling you this whole story is that it doesn't matter whether you had a single mother or a single father, or no one. It doesn't matter how you were raised. Who you become is who you choose to become, despite the challenges.
Well put. All those data are based.
by the way, the biggest ingredient in the road to poverty for *WOMEN* is to be a single parent.
@Bluemax no doubt... to me it’s very simple, anything that by intent or by side effect, that destroys the nuclear family! Will create nothing but human suffering. that sounds hyperbolic... but at some point we have got to pick our ground and fight this culture war and the nuclear family sounds like a good spot to me!!
I see the effects it's having on my nephew and his mother. Not good. Shuffled around from place to place, being raised by his mom and his grandparents. The last time I saw him on Halloween things were sad for him.
@Bluemax I hear you man. That sucks. there are a lot of people suffering these days. all we can do is help out the people close to us and try to educate our communities.
It's a issue in the white too
It's really an all around issue I think
Well, in the "White" community. . . I thought it was framed differently. Mostly what I hear is that it is used as a way to control men. I actually get told a lot that dead beat dads don't exist. It is a term made up by feminists.
No they take off mostly sounds like sugar coating I work in human services
I had a dead beat so definitely a real thing
Hmmm. . . interesting. Thanks for sharing that.
Typical ungrateful child. They should sent you to China for military school. Teach you about manners and disrespecting your parents.
Bet. I appreciate my mom for what she's done but if she didn't spend most of my teen years playing online mmos and actually got involved with my life in ways that mattered instead of ignoring I had a life outside of home. I'd talk about girls as I was losing my mind trying to just talk to them and noone knew what to do but eventually yell. Maybe I'd had a girlfriend once if they'd had a clue. Maybe I'd understood the dynamics of males and females and groups of people I wasn't used to. Maybe I'd had reason to give a damn about school if my life wasn't lived on video games as that is what I had for inspiration. Bet dude. I'm greatful to live with enough for what we have. But we have no connection. They barely have a sense of reality, they lived by statistics and ignorance. Our dynamic works better these days but looking back this is what I learned.
Don't take this the wrong way but after 18 your parents aren't responsible for your life or you're actions. So past 9 years it's all on you. What you should done turning 18 was become a man. Be part of the solution by getting a job. Not playing videogames. We all played videogames but we still has life outside. Get mentorship. Sign up with YMCA CLUBS. many ways to do things positivelty. Don't doubt yourself you're doing great. Am harsh myself to my life. If I don't fail and learn from my mistakes how will I learn life. If I don't take chances and get into fights and learn how to fight when am younger how will I learn to defend myself when older. You get my drift. So again thank you for sharing really appreciate it. It take guys to vulnerable something am still fighting within my own demons lol. You taught me something tonight.
It takes guts I meant I hate auto correct. Lol
That's very interesting, i did not know that empathy was taught by fathers, you would be led to believe the opposite. But actually it makes sense.
Not sure who made you think that's how people perceive you, but clearly that's not what I read from the majority of comments. You are not worth less than someone who grew up in a 'nuclear family'. People are pointing out how important it is to have a good father guide a child. Also, many studies and statistics have been shared that reinforce that belief. By taking this as a personal attack, you're literally proving everyone's point. That you're emotionally unstable which can stem from the lack of a masculine (fatherly) guide. But all in all, pointing to exceptions to the rule doesn't disprove the rule itself.
Good answer thank you
Thank you WowwGirl.😊
Well put miss
My biological father was never in my life. Mother left him, met him when I was 20 hung out a couple times. He's a real pansy my mom told me why she left him I understood why she did don't blame her. My step dad was abusive did drugs and beat my mom. That really scarred me and my bros. When he was sober he was actually cool, it was the dope though that turned him into the devil he was in and out of our life. The things he did really did shape us and myself. I believe it made ms harder but softer, if that makes any sense. I will fight and get dirty but do have a soft side because of my mother. We also do have a look like he have been through some shit and people see that. You can tell by looking at someone if they love been through some really hard times.Anyway yes If things don't work out with the baby daddy at least make an effort to keep him around your son in some way or form. we were designed to be raised by two completely different people to balance the child out.
Stupid autocorrect 🤦♂️
I liked your reply thank you for sharing
I think so also
Lots of sad stories here. Glad yours wasn't
That would surely count as extenuating circumstances !
Thank you for your honesty. But I think you turned out amazing
Thank you. It wasn't easy.
BOOM truth bomb dropped
@TruthBringer this is only half of it. I couldnt find another meme I had saved up that show all the modern mass shooters that were ironically raised by single mothers. I remember...Elliot RodgersAdam LanzaDylan RoofJames Holmeswere on it
Yeah I agree
Don't be. It made me who I, am now.
Well you turned out great
Thank you my friend!!