What would you do if your husband period shamed you in front of your son?

Question

My 11 year old son asked me about why women have periods like what actually happens to cause this. So I explained briefly that the lining of the womb thickens etc. I kept it brief.

As I was trying to explain this my husband shouted in from the kitchen ” OMG what are you telling him” I replied “ I am explaining the menstrual cycle to him”
He shouted back “ Oh stop he doesn’t want to hear about THAT, eurgh poor boy”
I was trying to explain it briefly to my son but had to keep stopping to respond to my husband. I said back “ no he asked me ok, he wants to know”

So my husband walked in and as I was explaining he looked at my son with raised eyebrows and a disgusted look on his face and mouthed “ eurgh”

I said “‘excuse me what is wrong with you I am just explaining this to him stop being immature” and my son had to say “ what’s the problem dad”

then he completely denied he had a problem. I explained to my son that unfortunately periods are a taboo subject for some men and my son was confused.
my husband then shouted “ oh I know that’s aimed at me “
I ignored my husband and tried to have a mature conversation with my son. In the end my husband kept going on so much about how I was being mean and digging him out. In the end I said “ look your behaviour is quite frankly a bit pathetic “
he denies everything and is now sulking in the bedroom. He has called me aggressive and man hating. My poor son is embarrassed for him.

i don’t know what to do or how to tackle this. I want a positive role model for my son who saw his dad overreacting and I’m worried that he’s not going to have any respect for him

Answer 1

SjE78 | 665 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

my first ex's dad did this infront of everyone and he knew that moment i wouldn't stand for it... in fact he realised that it was actually dangerous for his health to continue what he was doing, as i warned him if he didn't quit and apologise i would ensure that the last thing he saw was blood pouring out of each the places he doesn't want to be pouring from...

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Asker

1 y
What did he say to your ex?
SjE78

1 y
he was period shaming, he started out typical bloody woman always bleeding around the place etc... and got worse from there on... she being upset cos of emotions and hormones being what they were as she was quite young at the time both of us were around 14-15 and he thought he was being funny...
Asker

1 y
That’s so disgusting! Good for you standing up for her
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SjE78

1 y
thanks and yeah, he knew that moment that i would not stand for her being treated like crap, or being upset... as i am like with any girlfriend i have had over the years...

Answer 2

Asker

What did he say to your ex?

Answer 3

SjE78

he was period shaming, he started out typical bloody woman always bleeding around the place etc... and got worse from there on... she being upset cos of emotions and hormones being what they were as she was quite young at the time both of us were around 14-15 and he thought he was being funny...

Answer 4

Asker

That’s so disgusting! Good for you standing up for her

Answer 5

SjE78

thanks and yeah, he knew that moment that i would not stand for her being treated like crap, or being upset... as i am like with any girlfriend i have had over the years...

Answer 6

CoolGuyJoe | 139 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Explorer

First off I want to say I'm sorry to hear what you went through. Is this something characteristic of your husband to do?

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Asker

1 y
Unfortunately yes it is. He often shouts a lot and overreacts and has tantrums in front of them too. They are starting to lose all respect for him. He is 43! I’ve tried to talk to him and say please don’t act like this for your own sake too because your sons are beginning to not like you. But he shouts and screams and says that it is all my fault
CoolGuyJoe

1 y
That is terrible to hear. Since you've tried talking to him about this, you may want to begin weighing the pros and cons of divorcing him. You sound like someone who cares deeply about raising a good young man, and I don't think any one of us can succeed at that goal when their co-parent responds the way your husband does.

I'll say that it *is* possible for your son to be a good man, but it may come from hardships that he will learn to overcome on his own. This is what I went through.

Are you financially dependent on your husband, are you able to work?
Asker

1 y
Thank you so much for putting this into perspective. You’re right. I am struggling so hard. This is just one thing and it’s contact battle between me wanting to raise three boys into well balanced caring young men. I can’t do this with him behaving like this. There are so many incidents of this. In actual fact I believe he is responsible for my sons anxiety problems. I am not financially dependant because two of my children are disabled so it’s really tough to be there for all their appointments if I’m working. I do babe other income. I’m going to have to consider it before it’s too late. When I look back at the other questions I’ve posted on here about him it reminds me of how bad he has been over the years. Thank you for taking the time to respond
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CoolGuyJoe

1 y
I wish you only the best. I am saddened whenever we are unable to help someone if it means we will suffer alongside them. Good luck to you. I hope you come across a good man who can help your son grow into the man you know he can be.

Answer 7

Asker

Unfortunately yes it is. He often shouts a lot and overreacts and has tantrums in front of them too. They are starting to lose all respect for him. He is 43! I’ve tried to talk to him and say please don’t act like this for your own sake too because your sons are beginning to not like you. But he shouts and screams and says that it is all my fault

Answer 8

CoolGuyJoe

That is terrible to hear. Since you've tried talking to him about this, you may want to begin weighing the pros and cons of divorcing him. You sound like someone who cares deeply about raising a good young man, and I don't think any one of us can succeed at that goal when their co-parent responds the way your husband does.

I'll say that it *is* possible for your son to be a good man, but it may come from hardships that he will learn to overcome on his own. This is what I went through.

Are you financially dependent on your husband, are you able to work?

Answer 9

Asker

Thank you so much for putting this into perspective. You’re right. I am struggling so hard. This is just one thing and it’s contact battle between me wanting to raise three boys into well balanced caring young men. I can’t do this with him behaving like this. There are so many incidents of this. In actual fact I believe he is responsible for my sons anxiety problems. I am not financially dependant because two of my children are disabled so it’s really tough to be there for all their appointments if I’m working. I do babe other income. I’m going to have to consider it before it’s too late. When I look back at the other questions I’ve posted on here about him it reminds me of how bad he has been over the years. Thank you for taking the time to respond

Answer 10

CoolGuyJoe

I wish you only the best. I am saddened whenever we are unable to help someone if it means we will suffer alongside them. Good luck to you. I hope you come across a good man who can help your son grow into the man you know he can be.

Answer 11

MzAsh | 486 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Your husband is a juvenile and your son deserves a reasonable explanation. Good on you. Now, you need to check your husband and command him to grow up and be the man your son needs.

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Asker

1 y
Thank you. Yes you’re right. I need to make a stand. I won’t settle for less l. I work so hard at bringing the kids up to be open minded and equipped for the modern world. I feel his and my views are at odd with each other. Luckily for me my children are intelligent and seem more emotionally mature than him. I dont want them to be influenced by him. And in actual fact I doubt they will be, but it’s not healthy for them to grow up and have no respect for their father. The 16 and 11 year old don’t seem to Have any respect for him. And he’s brought that in himself

Answer 12

Asker

Thank you. Yes you’re right. I need to make a stand. I won’t settle for less l. I work so hard at bringing the kids up to be open minded and equipped for the modern world. I feel his and my views are at odd with each other. Luckily for me my children are intelligent and seem more emotionally mature than him. I dont want them to be influenced by him. And in actual fact I doubt they will be, but it’s not healthy for them to grow up and have no respect for their father. The 16 and 11 year old don’t seem to Have any respect for him. And he’s brought that in himself

Answer 13

Lynzerilee | 71 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 7

Sorry to say this but your husband is trash. I hope your son won't be affected by how stupid and ignorant his father is.

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Asker

1 y
Thank you you’re so right

Answer 14

Asker

Thank you you’re so right

Answer 15

Pistolpete90 | 132 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 7

Talk to your son openly about menstration and explain why his father's behaviour isn't acceptable, when it's just the two of you and idiot isn't there.

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1 Person

Answer 16

spartan55 | 21.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Wow, your husband should be absolutely ashamed of himself.

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2 People

Asker

1 y
Totally agree. To deny it and act like I’m the problem is pathetic. He should have owned up to what we all witnessed and apologised. He’s trying to twist reality now and then storming off and sulking. He even said “ you need help” in front of my son... I can’t cope with it

Answer 17

Asker

Totally agree. To deny it and act like I’m the problem is pathetic. He should have owned up to what we all witnessed and apologised. He’s trying to twist reality now and then storming off and sulking. He even said “ you need help” in front of my son... I can’t cope with it

Answer 18

GoodGuyBreakingBad | 3.4K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Tell your husband stop period shamming cause that is giving your son a poor outlook on life

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1 Person

Answer 19

Nayyr

Xper 7

Confused on how I got a period

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Asker

1 y
I’m not sure I follow?

Answer 20

Asker

I’m not sure I follow?

Answer 21

Giggltr0nn

Xper 4

Tell him to back off

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Answer 22

Jmmmfi4 | 994 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Because it's so gross

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1 Person

What would you do if your husband period shamed you in front of your son?

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