Why do men have to prove their masculinity?

[Barbaric]

It's innate. Men have always had to prove their masculinity.

Think about our historical roles as men. Until recently men have always had to work together almost solely with other men. For 99% of our existence as humans we lived as hunter gatherers, and that men that groups of men had to go out into the wilderness to bring down mammoths and to fight rival tribesmen. Men have always had to protect their families, tribes and nations with other men in war.

Women don't understand the need because while most women are attracted to masculine men, it's a lot more about men proving their competence as men to their male peers. The reason masculine men in particular instinctively dislike and do not respect soft, weak, overly-sensitive, effeminate men is because for most of our history those men were nothing but a burden. Having a weak man in the group could get you killed.

Also just because we live in modern society doesn't mean that that programming goes away. Like I said, it's innate.

Most people also understand this deep down anyway. Even those who want to encourage men to act more like women and to challenge gender stereotypes. The number one insult they use towards men who don't want to do feminine things is "coward". The reason they accuse those men of cowardice is because it implies a lack of bravery or courage, which has always been an important masculine trait. Calling women cowards doesn't have the same effect at all for that reason.

It's also kind of backwards if you think about it, it's a contradiction, just like saying that a man doing feminine things is secure in his masculinity. If you're saying that a man who does feminine things is less of a coward and is therefore more masculine, that's the underlying implication at least, and that a man who acts feminine is still masculine, then you're saying that femininity is masculinity. In which case masculinity and femininity don't mean anything at all. But this is also funnily enough the same argument effeminate men make because of their own innate need to feel more masculine. As is the idea that men and women are the same, that there are no biological differences, and that gendered behaviour is entirely learned rather than biologically ingrained. All of that is nonsense, but it also in a way proves the things I just said above.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

When a man has masculinity, he doesn't need to prove it. It's self-evident.

When a man has no masculinity, he'll move the heavens and the Earth trying to convince everyone he's the manliest man.

And I don't believe masculinity has anything to do with machismo. It's not about chest beating. Again, true masculinity is self-evident. It's inferred from a man's conduct, his actions, his behaviors. Everyone knows it when they see it, but it resists precise definition. And because its hard to define in precise terms, the men who most lack it tend to make a caricatured interpretation of it, resulting in the petty try-hard machismo that we all love to hate.

Ironically, spending lots of energy on these acts of "impression management" are -- I would argue -- feminine traits in their essence. It's the business of masculinity to get things done, and to seal one's words through a definite course of action. It's the business of femininity to build and maintain social alliances and good impressions (if you subscribe to the evolutionary theory of men = hunters and women = gatherers/nest-keepers). There's just something unmanly about a man who spends too much mental and social energy trying to make sure others see him a certain way. Masculine men don't care what others think about them, because they're too busy getting shit done. A man who's trying too hard to "prove" himself likely has too much free time and no real purpose or goal in life. And we live in an age where finding realistic, attainable goals is getting harder as the world gets more complex and information-driven. So it's no surprise more men are falling behind the curve, and trying to compensate through acts of machismo. Then there's the matter of that Jungian concept of the all-pervasive 'Anima', the ever-judging nature of women as sexual selectors. Men live with the ongoing awareness of their competencies being assessed by women, and essentially rank-ordered by levels of masculinity and success, and the tribal status that's interweaved into that mix. Add this all together, and you start to get a picture of what keeps the average man up at night

[cjgsu]

Sum people are brainwashed by media, society, and how they were raised 2 believe men are only men if they do certain things.

It makes me laugh. They even think guys have 2 pee a certain way 2 be considered a man.🤣

[Agape93]

I 100% agree with you hon!

[MLGbreezy]

It terms of Geneder stereotypes I think they are fucking stupid just do what makes you happy. But the issue is people are so fucking nosey that they can't stay out of other people's lives and let them live peacefully. This is really societies fault because of the social constructs they up hold. If guys show emtion they are weak, if you at all sensitive you are weak or a bitch and girls won't like you compared to other guys, wear pink your gay, your nice your gay, your nice your gay , weak and get not bitches, it's fucking ridiculous. Before I lost my virginity I was treated so different from everyone by both men and women I was constantly made fun of for it and called gay on the low when I'm not and it was fucking fustrating. All because in the eyes of men and women to an extent the more females you get the cooler and more dominant you are on the social latter. Think about it what are men with power always shown to have status, money and a ton of woman. That's why guys find it normal to go for multiple woman single or not. And woman from my experience even seem to think similarly like if you don't have at least a few bodies then your seen as inexperienced and unable to please a woman which isn't true. My first time I left my partners legs shaking in a good way lol. It's just dumb seriously.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you clarified in your last sentence that your real question here is "why do we make men prove how manly they are?".

Because this is not just a man problem, it is also a woman problem. Men are valued by society and by women for their masculinity, and they always will be. There is a lot of denial about that fact in recent years but it's all nonsense in the end. Women today are increasingly outspoken about their disappointment in the fact that today's men are less masculine. Nature intended that men should be masculine, and men who are less masculine will always be viewed as less valuable by others, and as less sexually attractive by women. We can deny that all day long but it doesn't change anything. Sending the message that men shouldn't feel like they need to be masculine is doing boys a disservice by setting them up to be failures as men.

Likewise, women are and always will be valued for their femininity and feminine traits. Women who let go of their femininity are less attractive and have less valuable to men.

[Anpu23]

The problem is that we have lost a lot of healthy masculine archetypes. Some have been shamed, others have fallen by the wayside, others have been reframed as bad or evil. So many guys are facing an identity crisis. So they are either trying to cram themselves into an unhealthy or unnatural masculinity or they are bucking against that idea. There's also a lot of social pressure, media shaming, and misinformation about being "male." It's no wonder that so many young men have lost their way, male suicide is so rampant and there are so many bitter young men.

[Bandit74]

Probably stems from mating, ie women are considered the selectors while men have to compete and prove their worthiness through combination of genetics/achievements. The more conventionally masculine qualities a guy has the more opportunities for sex he will have and the more superior he is perceived to be relative to other men.

That being said I don't think cooking or really makes a guy feminine.

[Heavenly_]

I think being "manly" isn't about physical strength
It is about the person. If he can make his woman feel his love and desire that man is "manly".
That's also what i try mostly lol

[MrHopper]

It's a factor I hate about men who feel need to wave their dicks around. I have very few male friends as I only get on with guys like me who have no interest in a pissing contest

[Bad_Man55]

Too many men feel the need to be uber tough and go out of their way to act in a certain way. I am who I am and do whatever I want and like whatever I want. I know I'm a man and am comfortable with my masculinity I feel no need to prove it or show it

[Jackblue]

Being manly is mainly about not appearing vulnerable to others, if they hurt your feelings don't cry say something that will hurt them more. If we show it when we are hurt emotionally other men will hold it against us.

[Reaperbot666]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/l5TuV1OrG8A

[Ripper_E]

Why do women have to try so hard just to go out?

[bannacookies]

Not all do. Depends on the crowd you are around.

[Anonymous]

Because of male ego