After two months we still haven't met?

Question

I met this guy online, we get along pretty well, we talk almost every day, good morning texts included. He is a really nice guy and really sweet with me. But we started talking for almost 2 months and we still haven't met in person. We have talked about it, I asked sometimes about it but he keeps telling me he is really busy at work (which I actually know that is true). Is this normal or a huge red flag?

Answer 1

HollyK21 | 770 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Have you talked to him about what his intentions are? Men like him, who live crazily busy lives, honestly shouldn’t date until they have the time, in my opinion. Sometimes they’re just looking to fill in those lonely times, or maybe they’d like a relationship, but realistically they can’t interest in one, which is unfair to the woman on the receiving end. If he’s so encumbered with work that you can’t even meet, just know that it will always be a problem, and you have to decide if that is something you can deal with. Like imagine if you finally meet, and it took 2 months to get there, then how many more months will it be until the next time?

React

1 Person

verylostgirl

1 y
We have talked and his intentions are quite serious. Our conversations are already about the future so I don't think he is just playing me, I have been played before and this is definitely not what is happening. He is quite shy (those very movie nerds that are quite afraid of women) and I think he is nervous to meet me. Also, I can't complain about the work schedules, I will have equally (or even worse) work schedules when I start working
HollyK21

1 y
I meant **invest, not interest in my initial comment lol. But anyway, I definitely wasn’t trying to suggest that he is playing you, because I don’t think that is what’s going on here. I’m just saying that I think he has good intentions, but just doesn’t have the time to execute them. It doesn’t take away from his character, but when you put the emotions and stuff aside, how practical could a relationship be? Not to say that it wouldn’t work, it just sounds like a lot. If you guys are interested in eachother enough to talk about the future though, maybe your relationship would be a thing where you decide to live together in order to see eachother more often, or consider you relationship an LDR. Not that you are far apart, but considering the gaps of time in which you would see eachother, and getting used to working around that.
verylostgirl

1 y
Well, last night I put my foot down and told him my patience was coming to an end and that I wouldn't have a relationship with my phone so he better start moving. Let's see where this ends. Thank you for your words, you sound like you know what you are talking about
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HollyK21

1 y
Honestly it’s great that you did that! A lot of women would not have the courage to put their foot town, so it is awesome that you did. Hopefully he gets it together after that. And no problem!☺️💛

Answer 2

verylostgirl

We have talked and his intentions are quite serious. Our conversations are already about the future so I don't think he is just playing me, I have been played before and this is definitely not what is happening. He is quite shy (those very movie nerds that are quite afraid of women) and I think he is nervous to meet me. Also, I can't complain about the work schedules, I will have equally (or even worse) work schedules when I start working

Answer 3

HollyK21

I meant **invest, not interest in my initial comment lol. But anyway, I definitely wasn’t trying to suggest that he is playing you, because I don’t think that is what’s going on here. I’m just saying that I think he has good intentions, but just doesn’t have the time to execute them. It doesn’t take away from his character, but when you put the emotions and stuff aside, how practical could a relationship be? Not to say that it wouldn’t work, it just sounds like a lot. If you guys are interested in eachother enough to talk about the future though, maybe your relationship would be a thing where you decide to live together in order to see eachother more often, or consider you relationship an LDR. Not that you are far apart, but considering the gaps of time in which you would see eachother, and getting used to working around that.

Answer 4

verylostgirl

Well, last night I put my foot down and told him my patience was coming to an end and that I wouldn't have a relationship with my phone so he better start moving. Let's see where this ends. Thank you for your words, you sound like you know what you are talking about

Answer 5

HollyK21

Honestly it’s great that you did that! A lot of women would not have the courage to put their foot town, so it is awesome that you did. Hopefully he gets it together after that. And no problem!☺️💛

Answer 6

NopeWhatTime

Xper 7

In today's day and age, and especially during a pandemic, it's probably fine, but still be careful

React

1 Person

verylostgirl

1 y
I definitely will. Thank you!
NopeWhatTime

1 y
No problem!

Answer 7

verylostgirl

I definitely will. Thank you!

Answer 8

NopeWhatTime

No problem!

Answer 9

slatyb | 2.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

HUGE red flag. Are you having video chat? How far away is he? Could he be married? Or maybe in a relationship?

React

1 Person

verylostgirl

1 y
We live 20km apart. He is not married or in a relationship. I think he is just quite nervous to meet me, actually. I wonder why, though
slatyb

1 y
Are you having video chat? How do you know he is single,?
verylostgirl

1 y
No, we are not having video calls. When I gave him my number, I told him I hate phone calls. I know he is single because in the first days of our conversation we had a honest talk about that. Also, I have been played before. I know what is like. Definitely not the casus here. And they way that we talk, it's like already definitive that we will be (or actually already are) in a relationship
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slatyb

1 y
So you've never even seen his face? You are being catfished.
verylostgirl

1 y
I have seen pics 🤷‍♀️
slatyb

1 y
You don't even know if they are pictures of him. Sorry, you are being catfished. If he were genuinely interested he would be on real-time video conference. But that's hard to hide when you are home with the wife and children. It's so much easier to just text. There's a simple solution: insist that he video conference with you or it's over.

Have you verified anything about this guy? Do you know anything besides a cell phone number? If he has an office job you can E-mail him at the business address to verify he actually works there, but I'm guessing you don't have one. Are you even sure of his name?
slatyb

1 y
Have you done a public records search for the name he gave you? Has he sent you a picture of any identification, like a Driver's License or Employee Id?
verylostgirl

1 y
Maybe I'm being catfished but who the hell asks for that stuff when they are meeting someone? I'm not the police
slatyb

1 y
Well you've spent countless hours on someone you know nothing about. If it was amusing that's fine. If you were investing your time in anticipation of a future meeting, then you should at least see the guy before you spend a hundred hours chatting with a complete unknown.

Answer 10

verylostgirl

We live 20km apart. He is not married or in a relationship. I think he is just quite nervous to meet me, actually. I wonder why, though

Answer 11

slatyb

Are you having video chat? How do you know he is single,?

Answer 12

verylostgirl

No, we are not having video calls. When I gave him my number, I told him I hate phone calls. I know he is single because in the first days of our conversation we had a honest talk about that. Also, I have been played before. I know what is like. Definitely not the casus here. And they way that we talk, it's like already definitive that we will be (or actually already are) in a relationship

Answer 13

slatyb

So you've never even seen his face? You are being catfished.

Answer 14

verylostgirl

I have seen pics 🤷‍♀️

Answer 15

slatyb

You don't even know if they are pictures of him. Sorry, you are being catfished. If he were genuinely interested he would be on real-time video conference. But that's hard to hide when you are home with the wife and children. It's so much easier to just text. There's a simple solution: insist that he video conference with you or it's over.

Have you verified anything about this guy? Do you know anything besides a cell phone number? If he has an office job you can E-mail him at the business address to verify he actually works there, but I'm guessing you don't have one. Are you even sure of his name?

Answer 16

slatyb

Have you done a public records search for the name he gave you? Has he sent you a picture of any identification, like a Driver's License or Employee Id?

Answer 17

verylostgirl

Maybe I'm being catfished but who the hell asks for that stuff when they are meeting someone? I'm not the police

Answer 18

slatyb

Well you've spent countless hours on someone you know nothing about. If it was amusing that's fine. If you were investing your time in anticipation of a future meeting, then you should at least see the guy before you spend a hundred hours chatting with a complete unknown.

After two months we still haven't met?

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