Is he still interested and I’m overreacting or does he not want to tell me it’s over yet?

[Anonymous]

This guy I’ve been talking to online for 10 months has been distant lately. We used to text all day and night, but now it’s different. He says he is just focusing on himself and that’s his main interest right now. I’m okay with that but I feel it’s more to it. We FaceTimed sometime in March for the first time since he really needed to talk since he was feeling low and the conversation was great. We really connected and I never did that with anyone. We talked for hours. We discussed about a future together and he really opened up to me. A week after the conversations he started talking less and less to the point I don’t here from for about two days. The conversations now are barely conversations. When we have longer conversations now it’s an argument and I’m doing most of the talking because he leaves for hours then returns. He told me before he was talking to someone else but he told me he was only doing it because I was doing it as well. He was jealous of the other guy like I was about the other girl. Once he found out I wasn’t talking to anyone else anymore he told me if I wanted him to he would only talk to me because that’s how strong his feelings were and he wanted me happy. He used to talk so much about wanting a future with me and us to be something, but now he doesn’t talk about it. It’s kind of like he is holding back from me but I don’t understand why because he knows I care about him. I asked him about it, his response is “I’m still interested in you but I’ve been focusing on myself” or when I asked if still feels the same he responded with “Not as of right now. I used to have a lot stronger feelings for you tbh but I haven’t been really been interested in anything lately besides just bettering myself and working hard”. He has been deployed to Japan for 6 months but he will be back in the US in May. I’m just confused if he’s actually going to be interested in me when he gets back or is he just going want to be with himself and it’s the end of me and him

Updates:

[Siren777]

When a guy becomes distant he usually is talking to someone else. I would find it hard to believe someone who at 1 day displays emotion and he says all these great things and the next day completely change. That's fuck boy behavior. Any guy can talk about wanting a future and they do this shit to get what they want from the girl. Talk without action is only talk. No matter what excuse he comes up with. It's so childish. Also he becomes bored or he is very busy and starts making all these grand excuses. If a guy takes a step back, you take a step back. Don't go chasing him and overextend yourself when he shows disinterest. People who genuinely like you always have the time for you no matter what and will seize any time with you. He already said he is interested in you. So that answers your question but he also said , " I am focusing on myself." & "Not as of now." When you asked about his feelings. Don't force it love, he made it clear. He will continue to go back and fourth and leave you heartbroken. Start focusing on yourself and meet someone new. If this matters at all to him, he will return if not be okay with it at least you're not getting dragged along and not know.

[spartan55]

This is simple. You CAN'T start and keep any sort of significant relationship online without actually meeting them in person. Even then it is all but impossible. I give you two credit, you kept it going far longer than most.

[Avicenna]

I think he’s lost interest. It’s hard to maintain interest that long without actually meeting each other

[Iron_Man]

Just ask him