Why am I still thinking of a narcissist I no longer have?

Anonymous
Do you like this guy? Not anymore. Not as much.
Have you moved on from this guy? In a way, yes.
How long have you known this guy? Honestly, a few months.

There was this guy I was talking to. His behavior was something else. Very insecure, yet thought so high of their own. He needed constant reassurance. He was a recovering addict. I supported him through his down-falls. I was very supportive. The way he thought so high of himself was always a turn off. He sent me pictures of him flexing. When in reality, ew! I didn't compliment him. He continuously comes back. Realizing the person I am. He last came back, admitting to me he's confused about me. YET. He's talking to other girls.
How can you look at somebody like me? Leave me so many times for no reason. Bash me for who I am. Take advantage of me incorrectly. List goes on. I was nothing but supportive.
I have about a week ago.. Showed him pictures of screenshots of him being mean. I said what I said of how he was never the nicest person to me. I respectfully called him out.
I got no reply. He probably looks at me as the bad victim. LOL.

Why am I somewhat so attracted to him? He's not even attractive to me. His face actually scares me because I picked up who he is. He's admitted to hitting his ex. So forth!
I'll admit. I miss the memories of the goodness. Cuddling. Tickling each other. My weird affection towards him of nonsense baby talks. I was suppose to meet his parents. Never did.

Is this a trauma bond? Should I seek therapy? Just cause I can't step into his town. I'm scared of him in ways I can't explain. First time he came back, we had sex. I attempted to ghost him, make him chase me. Second time he came back, I told him I was talking to somebody (not anymore). HE still came back. Third time, I gave him a reality check since he was confused about me. Yet talking to other females. Telling him what if I'm not there if they ghost him.

His luck with females is just as awful with my very own in men.
Why am I still thinking of a narcissist I no longer have?
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