Rejected a guy thinking he wasn't looking for something serious. Now he's dating someone else. Can I get him back?

Question

So last week I really hit it off with a guy on a party. We had already met a few weeks back via a mutual friend. Things were going great, we kissed and he even spent the night (no third base tho). Next morning he made me breakfast and was really making an effort. He spent the entire afternoon and we had some great talks. But when he asked me if we would see each other again, thinking he meant casually, I told him straight up: probably not since I already had a date planned with another guy from a dating app that week and I'm looking for something serious. (Well, the date didn't work out.)

Turns out I probably misinterpreted his moves, thinking he just wanted to casually date. He even had a girlfriend a few months back. Now I regret rejecting him.

I just asked him for drinks and he straight up tells me he also had a date that week with a cute girl and wants to see where that's going. But he would want to see me again as friends or for st casual. I told him that's not my style. He still sends me snapchats and watches every story I post on socials.

Is there any way I can get him back/get him to seriously date me?

Answer 1

SueShe | 673 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Neither you not the guy were really serious since you had a back up plan with another man from a dating app. Those dating apps are really a reservoir of men solely seeking to get under a girl's skirt and never really have the intention to get into a serious relationship.

Since the guy you spent the night with already had a back up girl, it is obvious that he was not really seriously looking for a long term relation with you, just like you were just looking for nothing serious.

Give up the thought about getting this guy back. You let him go and he got the message. You don't want to jeopardize his new relation just because you could not make up your mind when you had the opportunity to.

Both of you seem to have multiple simultaneous dates and both of you chose to go with the one that did not work out...

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Answer 2

PeacefulRainDrop | 133 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Yoda

You made your decision now let the man be happy if your jealous then dont pay attention to them. Wait until another man has come your way.. your only creating problems if you interfere.. let their relationship run its course if they break up then after a month make your move on him.. but dont try and sabotage their relationship if its meant to be it will be.

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1 Person

Answer 3

spartan55 | 22.1K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Why did you think that he only wanted something casual? Because he asked if he would see you again? That makes no sense at all. I don't make breakfast for hookups and I don't know any guy who would. He didn't try to have sex with you either, so I don't get where you got that idea at all.
The only shot you might have to get him back is to apologize for starters. I'm sure he is pissed, and tbh he should be.

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Answer 4

SomeStoner

Xper 1

You already rejected him. If he's a healthy person he probably disposed of any thoughts or feelings he had regarding you. It will be an uphill battle, but not impossible.

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1 Person

Cath777

9 mo
How do I fight the uphill battle? I feel sorry for hurting him through rejection, in all honesty I was just trying to protect myself from getting hurt.
SomeStoner

9 mo
I'm prefacing this by saying it will be hard, and unlikely to work. It may be too late, stuff with this other girl could work out and they might get serious, so it's kind a coinflip on that as it is.

I think the simple move would be to try and arrange to meet him somewhere. When you get there you need to give him your full undivided attention, be friendly, be happy to see him, compliment him and try to boost his ego back a little. Then you need to communicate clearly and verbally about your intent, what you want, and perhaps explain/apologize for last time. You're inviting him after you basically told him he was second best to some other guy ( who he thinks you probably had sex with instead of him), so you should probably pay. It's a long shot but it may be the only shot you have.

He probably resents you on some level and told you about his date to throw what you did back in your face. Getting him to meet you could be a challenge, and even then he may be highly reluctant to take you seriously. Perhaps you ought to take this as a lesson learned, and don't kick a man in the proverbial balls on the way out next time you reject him.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Cath777

How do I fight the uphill battle? I feel sorry for hurting him through rejection, in all honesty I was just trying to protect myself from getting hurt.

Answer 6

SomeStoner

I'm prefacing this by saying it will be hard, and unlikely to work. It may be too late, stuff with this other girl could work out and they might get serious, so it's kind a coinflip on that as it is.

I think the simple move would be to try and arrange to meet him somewhere. When you get there you need to give him your full undivided attention, be friendly, be happy to see him, compliment him and try to boost his ego back a little. Then you need to communicate clearly and verbally about your intent, what you want, and perhaps explain/apologize for last time. You're inviting him after you basically told him he was second best to some other guy ( who he thinks you probably had sex with instead of him), so you should probably pay. It's a long shot but it may be the only shot you have.

He probably resents you on some level and told you about his date to throw what you did back in your face. Getting him to meet you could be a challenge, and even then he may be highly reluctant to take you seriously. Perhaps you ought to take this as a lesson learned, and don't kick a man in the proverbial balls on the way out next time you reject him.

Good luck.

Answer 7

ToastyOats | 119 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

Maybe he wasn't. Did you ever ask? Have a real heart to heart about it and find out his philosophy of love?
Also no! he's gone and you should not disrupt his happiness he has found with the women he has now.
Let this be a lesson to you.

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Answer 8

FilmGuy93 | 1.5K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Nope! Not if the guy has any self esteem. I'm sad to say that you've played your hand with him. He knows what's good with you now.

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Answer 9

Avicenna | 6.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

No, that ship has sailed. You will meet someone else.

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Answer 10

Tunasub

Yoda

When he is done with the other girl... but he probably won't want to be bothered with you then...

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Answer 11

DonkeyDan | 315 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Guru

Nah, you had you're chance and have to move on.

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Answer 12

Twalli | 903 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Probably not

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Answer 13

Anonymous

probably not

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Rejected a guy thinking he wasn't looking for something serious. Now he's dating someone else. Can I get him back?

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