I wouldn’t call myself a feminist because I have noticed that within the feminist movement and from feminist intellectuals there are many double standards, especially when it comes to supporting a traditional woman in her choices. Like it’s all: “let women choose” but if a woman chooses to be a stay-at-home housewife and expresses her joy in that, she’s seen as lame or having wasted her potential- and if you look from an economic perspective, yes, that potential is wasted, because she could be out working and earning giving her time to some company and using her brains for that. But then why are we reducing women to their economic value?
In one sense a woman who stays at home could easily be fulfilling her potential as a mother to her children, I mean in my culture they say the first school of a the child is the mother- how do you know she doesn’t raise children that change the world somehow? Sure, you can cart the children off to daycare for example if needs be, but a good mother will do a far better job at raising her own child than a daycare center. So if a woman wants to dedicate more time to raising her child, why is that so frowned upon? Moreover what is the point of having a child if your primary focus is going to be your career and you just cart the child off to daycare continuously because you career comes first and your child comes second?
When I have a child my child will be my number one priority, and my career will always come second. My career will still be important to me, but it will never be more important than my child and if a man would prefer I work in some company more than he would that I look after my children, then screw that and screw him lol.
I wouldn’t exactly say I’m completely traditional either by the way, because I do want a career, but my career will not be more important to me than my family, wouldn’t call myself a feminist because I don’t believe I need feminism and as I said the movement presents some pretty heavy double standards lol.
Meh.
There is no causal relationship or a strong correlation for that matter, between being traditional and boring, high maintenance, etc.
For me personaly, and in my family in general, the term traditional is defined as upholding and honoring traditions (and nothing more); the way your forefathers chose to live which helped them survive and thrive. It helps to know your history, or I could say, it is essential to know it, so you can see how and when and why this and that particular tradition helped your family rise to prosperity and power, or if, a certain practice, contributed to the demise of a part of your family.
It's far more about having a solid identity, a solid community, and an inter-generational outlook of life and success, rather than a list of "to-dos".
People also often think "traditional" is equal to being "unaware of what one chooses to do", and that hasn't been my experience, although I am aware my experience is limited. In my experience, being unaware of your choices goes beyond feminist and anti-feminist, traditional and, for lack of a better word, "liberal" women or men. I've seen too many feminists who are completely unaware of why they think the way they do and follow the "feminist traditions" they follow.
Note, if traditional is used as synonymous with "dogmatic" (which is the case in today's everyday discourse in which all traditions are somewhat demonized without giving them much thought) most feminists today are very "traditional".
In short, you have dumb people on both sides, and then even dumber people who buy into some Tumbler propaganda.
For cooperation of sexes and division of labour, I don't begin to explain anything. You're a lost cause if you don't understand the usefulness of a type of division of labour that would cover most aspects of life, and would also create a (mostly) functional society.
I don't like radical feminism. But I support women's liberation 100%.
The traditional, pre-1960s, June Cleaver wife is kind of a cliche. Not that there's anything wrong with women who want to be housewives and care for the children while their husband goes off to bring home the bacon.
I like women who have minds of their own, are ambitious, can fend for themselves, and don't act like domestic servants.
But I don't want a domineering woman with a chip on her shoulder, either. I still appreciate women who act feminine - appreciate having doors held for them and admire that I can open jars, get things off of high shelves, lift heavy objects, build and repair things. It's great when she looks up to me as the man who makes her feel safe and secure.
So I prefer a balance. A woman can still be caring, nurturing, empathetic and sexy. But when it comes to traditional gender roles, I like to share cooking and chores. I like that my wife is smart, hard working and resourceful, and has a job to supplement our income.
She went to cosmetology school straight out of high school and at one point was a regional manager for the Paul Mitchell empire. She also became a professional photographer. She wound up in the Hollywood and Rodeo Drive scene and made a good living on her own doing hair, makeup and photography. So she wasn't waiting around for a man to support her.
I think most of the men that women consider "high value" prefer more "traditional women", but we need to define what those terms mean.
Every woman is different and wants different things in a man, but most are attracted to strong, confident and capable men who have what would be considered a more dominant personality type. Those guys are usually more professionally and financially successful because those are the same traits that allow a man to succeed in business or whatever profession he chooses.
What is a more traditional women? One who looks to a man to lead the relationship and is willing to take on most of the responsibilities that are more traditionally the woman's role. That doesn't mean she has to be a homemaker, but she's more likely to stay home and be a full time mom during the children's formative years.
With those definitions in mind, it's not hard to understand why a high value man is not going to be interested in a "dominant" woman or a career focused one, and it's likely he'll get the woman he wants.
Opinion
77Opinion
Neither. A modern woman who can be feminine without being a TradCon, and can be strong without pretending to be like feminists always do. Both are on the extreme end, and I prefer just regular normal women.
I see what you did with feminists though. The sad thing is, you can't even mock them when this is how they actually, unironically think. Feminists are as much of a waste of semen as incels and actual violent misogynists are. Yet they're so arrogant and full of sh*t, they think the whole world should kiss their asses 24/7 while simultaneously thinking they're oppressed and living in "patriarchy," at the same time. I have legitimately tried to find logic and reason with feminists and legitimately have never found any with them before. (The closest are the ones who describe their mindset Egalitarian and call themselves "feminists," even though hating men is literally a requirement to be a feminist; it's called "patriarchy." So I'm unsure to count those "I don't hate men" feminists as actual feminists.)
Feminists are garbage people. F*ck them. (Just not literally.)
In my family, women have always worked. On my father's side my grandmother was her teacher, her unmarried sister was a tailor, like her mother, and her two aunts. My grandfather's sisters have always worked, one rewinding electric motors (a job considered to be a man's job), the other was a baker. My great-uncles' wives all worked, one had a shop, one was a teacher, one was an accountant. My maternal grandmother was a farmer (a heavy man's job without mechanical aids), she still had five children. Her sister was also a tailor. My mom has always worked, like her sisters. None of them were feminist or similar. Despite this, their homes were as clean as operating theaters. Children and husbands were always kept with clothes washed and ironed. Except my grandmothers who were completely unable to cook, all of them were very good at it. The story of working woman = feminist, it seems to me a nonsense and I am Italian who in your stereotype is part of a backward society. As far as I'm concerned, feminists are just neo-bigots with a plethora of cluster B disorders.
You clearly have never seen or met a traditional women. The job isn’t limited to cooking and cleaning but neither are easy when factoring in the talent required to put together flavourful, healthy meals throughout the day, every day. Nor is maintenance with children in the household but I digress.
The job includes (and is still not limited to) organization, scheduling, transportation, family relations and problem solving, coordination, CHILD baring and rearing, school and extracurricular evolvement — just to name a few. All this around the clock and without compensation (non monetary). Please educate yourself.
I'll be honest I don't see the appeal in one or the other. I checked out of society and tuned out a lot of political/social issues. One side is taking on the traditional woman's role in society. The other side is trying to change the role a woman has in society. To me our society is very much like a house with serious foundation issues. It's past time to rip out the foundation, build a new one and put the house back on it.
You can sink as much time, energy and effort into fixing a house that you want. If the majority of issues are coming from its serious foundation issues, you are throwing your time, energy and effort into fixing the wrong issue.
I'm a modern girl I'm not either or. I live by a healthy in mix of the two. I believe it should be a balance. There's nothing wrong with being educated or having a career and knowing how to cook one hell of a homemade lasagna or apple pie. I can fix a broken sink change the oil to my car and I can sew a blanket or a dress or hem a pair of pants. I love having a washer and dryer in my home but I am not above being able to wash my hand wring them out and hang them to dry on the clothesline. I'm capable of doing both I'm a modern woman with some old school skills.
Ofcourse I'm Feminist.
But that doesn't mean I hate men or abuse anyone.
I just stand up for what I want to do in life, even if it means to never find a partner who'll understand me.
I've embraced solitude and self prioritization.
Honestly, I'm a girl but i have never considered myself a feminist. I simply don't care about what guys or men have to say about me. I know what I can do and I know that I will follow my goals without feeling inferior to any man. Feminism is a way to hide.
You know women can be more than just either traditional or feminist, right? Not being a feminist doesn't automatically mean you're traditionalist just like not being a traditionalist automatically makes you a feminist. Not everything is black or white, there's a lot of shades in between...
See feminists bring drama I don’t need. I don’t mind women being equal but if it’s forced it don’t mean shit. Oh I’m being forced to respect you? What value is that? Respects earned and I’ll give it when earned but otherwise you don’t force me to do shit.
And I don’t want a strong woman. I like small frail and feminine women. These feminists arnt anything close to my desire. I want a woman who tells in me to protect her. Knowing I can whoop her if I wanted but choose to take care of her is maculating. Besides women don’t understand you can’t switch on and off your feminine traits so ya you can’t be a man at work and a woman at home.
I´m looking for a rather traditional woman because they have been at least in my experience easier to talk to. The self declaring feminist women often times at least in my view just wanted to talk about gender topics or wanted to tell me how I should live as a guy and wanted to define the "right" masculinity for me.
Don´t get me wrong, I´m not against feminism, I just had bad experiences with some of them. I don´t think that traditional women are boring, they just have a different attitude towards life than other women.
It´s a huge and reasonable task to run the households, bear children and also raise them because the government can´t do that alone.
Therefore I think no one should take their work granted, saying that´s no "real work".
Household stuff like laundry, cooking and cleaning I consider to be basic skills in life. Male or female don't matter. It's like knowing how to take the buss, telling North/East/South/West or how to get dressed and clean yourself.
I gladly help out raising the kids, I want a good balance.
Not sure why I even awnsered this question, honestly. I'm from sweden, I've grown up in a very individualistic society. Balance is the norm, everyone is supposed to have their own job/place here, it's been like that since probably the 80s or something. Even the sense of 'traditional woman', I mean I'm not sure what that would be here.
On GaG I assume we're thinking about the American vision of stay-at-home-wife. People on here talk like you're all from the states but surely that's not true.
I feel like a traditional woman would be more likely to have long hair than a feminist.
Both are very, very evil!!!
* Feminists hate men.
* Traditional want queen-slave relation. (Die for me - women's life is more important, your doesn't count; open door for me like a servant; work for me like a slave, while I stay at home and do nothing, pay for me all the time - you should be happy that I even agreed to spend time with such miserable creature as man, etc...)
I think that the best thing for a man is to either be alone or find a girl that is in the middle of these two extremes. The one that isn't too traditional (that descended from her pedestal), but is not enough feminist too hate men.
Do you prefer followers of Dworkin? Are you an existentialist? How about De Beauvoir? How about bourgeois upper class first world feminism like Naomi Wolff or Barbara Ehrenreich? How about Kate Millet? How's your hair? Do you like Audre Lurde? How about sexual identity, radical leftist sexuality, outlaw sexuality like bel hooks? There is much more to feminism than equating modern female practices with the word "feminism" . ... So many people want to debate what effect feminism has without having read a single major feminist writer and making jokes about how useless gender studies degrees are when these dudes can't even write, much less think or follow the rules of logical debate. In the beginning was the word. And the word was with god. And the word was what? Figure that out.
u I don't want a feminist girl who fantasizes about cutting off my pecker. I want a traditional girl who dreams about forever with the same guy.
I picked neither. Personalities are the real sticking point for me. A traditional woman could be rude just like a feminist woman could be rude and vice versa. Personality is what I look for compatibility first. If she has a nice job then good... but if she's rude I wouldn't find that lustful... but let's say she's a traditional woman and also a rude person in her way... nope to both.
So I voted either. I'd rather someone a blend or just a nice woman. However rare or whatever those are, the rare few 😯🤗🤗
Feminists are irritating but traditional in many mens minds means oppressed and obedient. Neither is appealing
Easy one. I like women with full agency, who don’t feel defined by what other people think of their gender, and who are sensitive about their position in the world. These are the people who feel more authentic, and I’m able to form a better connection with. It’s not only a matter of personal preference and it’s not about what I like: I’m just unable to communicate otherwise.
I do not consider myself a feminist at all. Majority of what feminism stands for nowadays seems meaningless to me. I am a traditional/conservative girl who comes from a culture with long hair and would not mind cooking meals for my boyfriend if I am at home. That does not mean i am oppressed. I am graduating from my B. A, studying to get into medical school, and working a little on the side. I may seem boring to some people but you can not please everyone, no matter how hard you try.
If I were a man attracted to women or a woman attracted to women I’d probably choose feminist because I don't know I dislike the norms. And feminists aren’t so bad. there are different types of feminists, there’s good and there’s bad. I’m Hispanic so I grew up un a toxic traditional household so you get the idea.
