Why do guys think it's ok to rape their girlfriends and wives?

One time I had a boyfriend who asked me how I would feel if he raped me and I was just so hurt and scared by the question I couldn't think of anything to say except "I would cry" and he was seriously confused and he said "but I'm your boyfriend" and he acted really ashamed after I explained why I should always have a choice but I never forgot that question

then several years later I was with a new boyfriend and we were high on Xanax and he tried fucking me without even asking and I kept trying to push him off and begging him to stop and he finally did stop but several days later he said he's never doing Xanax again because it makes him a sociopath and that he was actually going to rape me that night but there were other people in the house. I left him shortly after.

I don't understand why guys would think this is ok. Having your wishes ignored and being forced and hurt by the man you love and trust is one of the worst things. I hate always having to be the weaker one. My new boyfriend hasn't done anything like this but having 2 out of 3 past boyfriends actually talk about raping me to my face even using the word rape has made it harder for me to feel comfortable around him. I'm supposed to be turned on by my boyfriends strength not scared of it.
Why do guys think it's ok to rape their girlfriends and wives?
Add Opinion