Started dating guy but he said he wanted a break and to stay as friends “for now”? Is he wanting to break-up or get back together?

Question

So I recently met this guy through a social event (we knew each other since March but recently talked). It’s been three weeks since we talked everyday. He drove down two times 45 minutes to see me. First time we went out for dinner and we did make out a lot. He even took me to my secret spot. Second time was when we hung out and I ended up staying at his place for a week. We got really close. He was hyping me up and also set me as his wallpaper, said we need to take more pics etc. He is also very affectionate towards me. But one Wednesday he didn’t text at all and the following day said he “needs more time”, but will text as friends for now. He still had feelings for me. He sad he wouldn’t ghost or go Mia so to not worry. But at the same time he also said he doesn’t trust me after I met up with a guy friend even tho I told him I was meeting up with him to get a jacket. Not just that, but he mentioned that his ex texted him recently and he’s worried that he will gain feelings for her. I don’t know if he’s wanting to get back together or leaning more towards a break up.

Concordio · Accepted Answer

Trust issues and not moving on from his ex... looks like a guy who doesn't have his shit together, but there a two possible but conflicting theories:

1) He's unsure about his position with his ex, but has feelings for you and wants to string you along as an option or a plan B. In this case, you should recognise your worth and indicate that you'll leave. He'll only appreciate what he doesn't have, and attempts to reconnect are a positive, but should be approached with suspicion. If he doesn't attemp to reconnect, he was never good in the first place

2) He has trust issues, possibly related to his ex or with how fast you two got physical. Unless you're running a charity, this guy is emotional baggage that will silently make your life miserable

I highly supect the first scenario is the one that's in play. The story of not trusting you meeting another guy is most likely a story that legitimises him potentially leaving you. If this is true, and if he reconnects with his ex, you're might be out of the picture very quickly

ZackBan · Accepted Answer

Downside of moving too fast you kill the flame.

Guys are quick to fuck but but slow to alter their lives to fit a relationship and usually right after fucking we feel so fulfilled we decide maybe the relationship is not worth it.

Nothing wrong with going with the flow and if the sex was good then great but if you want a serious commited relationship you need to be less easy

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

My friend says guys don’t remember girls who make things easy for them - if you want him - decide on a schedule for talking to him and don’t be available to him on his terms - the other thing is, you should demand you guys do athletic or practical activities together such as climbing rocks at an indoor rock garden or babysitting a dog together - give him responsibilities and don’t make the path to physical contact predictable or straight - and last - be mysterious and slowly reveal your character - I think guys don’t trust woman who get close to them too quickly

kyleelyn199723 · Accepted Answer

Leave him be. “He’s afraid he’s going to have feelings for his ex” so no he’s not afraid he will have feelings, he does still have feelings for her. So now that she’s back around , he pushed you to the side. You need to let him know that if his ex is still a priority to him, then you won’t be around. It’s not right that he gave you a week of thinking you would be together and then now all the sudden his ex is back, that week meant nothing.

Account · Answer

I am sorry but I think he is playing you and he wants to get together with his ex. It happens, he is a jerk, you did nothing wrong.

abc3643 · Answer

He doesn't have his shit together.
Don't put your life on hold waiting for him to get his shit together.
You are too valuable a person already and time goes by fast - trust me on that last part. So, feel free to date others and what happens is what happens.

DJB72 · Answer

Do you want to be an "option"? Is that all you think of yourself?

Don't make someone who treats you as an option your priority.

I promise you that out there is a guy who's prepared to walk through fire, barefoot over Lego bricks just to spend time with you.

Vegasrunner · Answer

The irony of this is that you're being treated the same way a lot of women treat betas. I'll give you the same advice I would give them, you need to move on to the next guy. He's just want to keep you around as a "break glass in case of emergency girl" Best to just ignore him and focus on yourself you can't control what his ex did so dont let him make his problem your problem.

AydenHazor · Answer

Don't let yourself go deeper into faking in love, but treat him as a friend. Don't give him "benefits" with the friendship. If he wants to act like you're in a relationship then you need to be in one, but he might, maybe, still be a decent friend, though if be concerned that he is jealous of you having other male friends and that he's still super into his ex

Twalli · Answer

My guess is he doesn't know at this point. He doesn't want to commit to anything too concrete until he knows more. Maybe he finds out he still can't reconcile with his ex and doesn't want it to mean he can't get back with you. At the same time if he does reconcile with her it'd be unfair to you and her both to still be going on dates with you.

Neilbud · Answer

It's hard to tell. Seems to me you let things happen and observe the situation. He could be going through some life stuff, or he could be ending it for good. I would not continue investing in the relationship, but I would stay friends and observe. That way if it is a good reason you can start things bach up. If not than you can walk away.

TallAnon · Answer

Seems like he's obviously still very invested in his ex, the two reasons given were "You might cheat like my ex did" and "I think I like my ex more". Sounds like you might be a rebound, I would be careful. He's using you as a backup option, which is pretty shit.

Magarmor64 · Answer

well I don't mean to be rude but to me, it kind of sounds like he was probably just using you to make his ex jealous and would want him back, so you should play it out and see where it goes and if he does end up back with his ex, then you decide how you should do about it

ally018 · Answer

He probably wants to see other people. He might not be ready for a serious relationship because y’all are so young. Don’t take this relationship too seriously.

Truthatanycost · Answer

You've fallen for societies programming that keeps on telling you that sex is meaningless. In any case you can only connect with another, to the depth that which you can connect to yourself...

Leonharted · Answer

I can't tell you whether he's leaning towards a break up or not. I doubt even he knows. But I wouldn't "save yourself" by refusing to date anyone else until he knows one way or another.

melanieeeB · Answer

He is not interested enough, otherwise you would have been his girlfriend by now

harvest · Answer

So... You met a guy, he fucked you already on a second date and then decided that he "needs a break"? Well geez, I wonder why... 😂

loveslongnails · Answer

He's probably your age (19 - 21?) and got freaked out with all the closeness and romantic stuff. The only thing you can do is decide if you're ok granting him some "away time", and if so, how long? Or not.

Paul09 · Answer

Do yourself a huge favor. Ditch this guy. Seems controlling and uses you for affection and probably sex. While hoping to get back with his ex. Im sorry, but that's messed up. But if you want trouble in your life, please continue.

GhostMochi · Answer

Usually "take a break" is a less hurtful way of saying, "I wanna break up with you, but still kinda wanna string you along and look at other girls too". So I'd say just end it with him.

888theGreat · Answer

1) Are living on your own?
2) Sweet Spot = clit?
3) Is this guy #3 in less than one month?

My opinion if I had a daughter would be that if she can date or let a guy feel her clit, then she is ready to be on her own.

jess05 · Answer

He's wanting to sleep with other girls, but doesn't want to loose you, if the other girls don't pan out.  That's what I would guess. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Danny_dan92 · Answer

He fucked you, and now wants to let you down easy so he can always come back to fuck you whenever he wants

Started dating guy but he said he wanted a break and to stay as friends “for now”? Is he wanting to break-up or get back together?

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