It's not that. You're just talking to the wrong men.
There was this one girl on here from a couple months ago, Juju-something. She used to think the same way. She was actually pretty hot, too. Medium0tall, HUGE boobs, gorgeous face... But her personality sucked. She was pretty racist and it was heavily implied she only wanted white guys.
I'm black (mostly; technically I'm mixed race but predominantly black). American. Here's the honest truth. Black women are the least desirable among the races for a reason. Now I don't like saying this, but it would be a lie to deny it. White guys will say this, as well, if they're being honest. Black women are the MOST likely to not take care of themselves (hygiene), to have kids out of marriage, to be negative, rude, and hostile, and to disrespect a man and treat him like an ATM.
Now this isn't saying white women or any other races of women DON'T do these things, too. Cause they do. But with black women, it's like a 60% chance you're going to get that, as opposed to like 20% with white women or 15% with Hispanic women, or 5% with Asian women.
Now, like I said. I am black, too. I have DEFINITELY been discriminated against, due to my race. Even if I'm not a black thug with my pants sagging. I don't like that people do this. But I get it. It's not fair that people prejudge. But they do. And sometimes, it's for good reason. Even if you look at a rich black woman like Cardi B or Tiffany Hadish or Leslie Jones... They still fit the "loud, obnoxious, ratchet, ugly black woman' stereotype.
Now WHY is this? The very simple answer: Socioeconomics. Black people tend to be the poorest. Looking at other races though, you'll see that poor white women aren't desired all that much either, though. No one likes trailer trash chicks the same way they don't like ghetto black women.
Now here's where people like me, @friendlydrugdealer, and possibly you, come in, as well. We are NOT ratchet or ghetto. And quality people, can see that. Racist people won't bother trying to see you as an individual. But QUALITY people, will. (Although in my case, race isn't the biggest problem with women. Being short, chubby, not-too-handsome, and not being an egotist is.)
Now what I SUSPECT you are doing is, only or mostly going after the wealthy white boys. The type MOST likely to reject you or have prejudiced views. And you being a Brit, it's probably more likely to be the case for you, especially if you live in that hellhole called London. But this is the best advice I can give you: Stop going after the wrong men. Because your race shouldn't be the issue.
As far as looks go, only thing I'd say is to change your hair in the second pic. That weave isn't the best looking. The first pic looks fantastic, though. On social media, you should probably post some more pics without heavy makeup as well. More of a natural look, so you don't come off high maintenance and snobby.
That's the best advice and insight I can offer. Good luck to you.
Let me be perfectly honest with you here:
Being black IS a limiting factor in a mostly-white country - most people tend to date within their own race and culture, and while exceptions certainly exist, if you are playing on exceptions, then most of your choices have already been eliminated before you start. That sucks, I know. Things are gradually changing - a higher percentage of white guys would date black girls today than 20 years ago, and that was higher than 20 years before that. But that IS a factor and that can't be denied.
There's something I think that's a bigger deal, though. You've posted a bunch of pictures over the last month or two, and in all of them, you are dressing in a way to enhance your sexuality. Your outfits are always small, tight, and show lots of cleavage. That's going to get you a ton of male attention - as you obviously know - but it's all going to be SEXUAL attention.
We talked in another post how you have an overly-sexual body - "Jessica Rabbit"-like exaggerated curves. No question, that's sexy as hell, but it also sends the wrong message when you're a girl who is looking for a serious relationship - the way you dress says "take me to the club and then take me home after", but it definitely doesn't say "take me home and introduce me to the family." Guys who are looking for a girl to bang for a night are looking for the former - they way you dress and present yourself now - and guys who are looking for a serious relationship are largely going to dismiss you immediately based solely on how you present yourself.
If I was wearing a police uniform on the street, perfect strangers would just naturally assume I was a police officer. If I was wearing a hard hat and a bright orange or yellow vest, people would assume I was an electrician or construction worker. That's because the UNIFORM *advertises* things, and people understand what it is you're "selling." Police "sell" safety. Construction workers "sell" construction. You take one look and you immediately know what they're about.
Your clothes, on your body, range from "hot party girl" to outright "hooker" - and it's not ALL the clothes but also your body. When you have that Jessica Rabbit body, you have to actually WORK to downplay the sexuality, more than most women do. You've been playing it UP, which certainly gets you attention, but also repels the exact sort of men you are hoping to find.
in my opinion, you need to start dressing like you were going to work in a doctor's office or to sell real estate: the only uncovered skin should be your arms and your ankles. Minimal to no cleavage visible. Nothing overly tight. Try to imagine what a Mormon would wear.
You're always going to have a sexy body, even in clothes that are far more conservative, and guys will always know what's going on under those clothes. But the kinds of men you are looking for don't want to be with a woman who looks like she's advertising sex to the world - and frankly that's what you look like. It's hot - no question - but "hot" isn't what will get you a serious man. A serious man wants you to be hot in HIS BEDROOM and rarely anywhere else - maybe for special occasions. Otherwise, he doesn't want every man in the world looking lustily at his woman, and right now, every man looks at you that way - and men looking for serious relationships dismiss you immediately as a result.
I think if you change your "style" to being more conservative, you'll VASTLY improve your chances of finding what you seek.
Why do you want White men? I think all men in general are loyal to their own race and even down to their own culture/ethnicity. I am personally only attracted to South Asians (Indians/Afghans/Persians) and all ethnicities in those nationalities because they’re familiar. I have only ever found Italians, Portuguese, Greek and Spanish attractive in European men because they look similar to me. I don’t know many White men but the thought of being with one never even crossed my mind because I never thought any of us would seriously consider it to lead to marriage and I am not frivolous.
Maybe if you dated good looking Black men you’d have more luck with getting a steady boyfriend and eventually marriage.
And perhaps you’re just bad at judging people and going for asshole White men. Don’t worry about the race of the person in question. Worry about whom they are as a person if you want a good relationship and not to be used.
I don’t thinks it’s because you are black particularly…. yet I expect it could be that people are perceiving you a certain way because of your colour.
And most definitely because of how you look. They feel threatened, and also perhaps because they may think you are high maintenance (who cares if you are or not?)
Also, men are intimidated by you.
You are young and have plenty of time to find someone.
I felt invisible growing up and no one really ever asked me out, yet apparently I was extremely attractive.
It’s the same now. I may get compliments and attention but everyone seems scared to approach me for some reason….
Opinion
116Opinion
I don't know. I do know that your attitude toward yourself is part of the issue. I'd ask you have you turned down any guys that were willing? Ask yourself why you turned them down. Try working on your personality. Courtesy and kindness is valued by usually most people. Many people lack courtesy. Tone of voice is another thing to work on. Speaking with emotion. Smiling. Open mindedness. I'm going to be honest with you I do think media plays a huge role on who we see romantically. Key word romance. I don't recall growing up watching black women in my favorite romance movies. I always dreamed of having a daughter. I would watch movies of a dad of had a daughter. I noticed I felt compelled to want the race of the daughter that was the actor. So if a white girl was the daughter I would imagine myself with a white daughter. But it wasn't until there was a movie where the guy had a black daughter that I felt compelled to imagine myself with a black daughter. At that point I realize the media was very much controlling my desire. The desire is there without media I think but the race is missing without media. Media is shaping the rest of my desire because of what is inspiring me. If any guy lives in the west this is there experience. Whatever culture they are in, that is shaping their desire. White girls who was into black culture are way more likely to date black guys if you notice. Although u said you live only around white people so maybe you haven't noticed. Some people are neutral though. At least that is what they say. Like u say you're neutral. I am sorry honey. I know it hurts to feel like you're not good enough. I know it hurts to not get what you want. But remember everyone is messed up. That is why the world is so messed up. We just all hide are insecurities and bad character traits.
Bad Mental Attitude
- Dampen ones enthusiasm
- Curtails ones initiative
- Overthrows ones self-control
Courtesy
- The habit of respecting other people's feelings under all circumstances
- The habit of going out of ones way to help any less fortunate person whenever and wherever possible
- The habit of controlling selfishness in all its forms
I'm currently dating a black girl. and its not just about the sex.
Im in the USA and i can tell you that a lot of white people go huge chunks of their life before they ever meet a black person 1 on 1 in person. Partly because white people are a majority in a numbers sense.
Sadly this means that a lot of white people have movies or tv as their first interaction with people of color. And i'm sure you know that media is rarely truthful. This means that a lot of white peoples first knowledge of black people is usually a stereotype sadly.
I grew up in a very small town and while there were some black people who lived there. there were not many, so aside from maybe one friend in school. Almost everyone i interacted with was white. That bubble prevented me from truly understanding people who were different from me.
It took moving away from the small town and meeting more diverse people to realize that "oh my gosh, the world is so much more diverse than i thought." its scary at first. but eventually i realized there was more to gain than to be afraid of.
White people generally have been living in a white bubble for a long time. and a lot of times they aren't even aware or are woefully misinformed of the other types of people around them. You should introduce yourself and be that friend. Show them that there is more than just one flavor to choose from.
I don't think your skin tone is the reason your single. maybe it plays a role, sure. but i don't think thats the sole reason. Besides you've had boyfriends before, so im sure you'll find another soon. The timing may just be off at the moment. Or maybe the universe wants you to spend time with yourself for now.
Best of luck in the dating game.
:)
No the truth is it has nothing to do with you - take any part of society most guys are single - So the ones choosing white girlfriends in a predominantly white area is mathematically expected - If every dude you know has a girlfriend then you're right you're in bad waters for some reason - but the way I see it you have an ex boyfriend who is white - which means you're already ahead of the many people who've never had anyone - So I guess like many other girls (and guys) of all races, you're get ghosted, you might have guys who'll use you for sex while saying that they love you, among other scenarios - these are just things that happen to everyone don't worry about it.. Until someday you find another dude that'll want to be with you and you'll want to be with him..
Stop making everything to a race!
Do you know when I was in Canada when I was younger as a guy it was very hairy, a lot of people would make fun of me right in my face call me hairy monkey is your dad a chimpanzee look at his hairy fucking moron and etc..
and no girl would ever like me I’m not gonna bother were you going to deep about other bully stuff but these are just some of the things as I grew older I start working out and I started getting a lot of hair laser removal the problem along the way but I got bald afterwards while I was still in Canada girl told tell me I’m bald Jenny or girls will never date a bald bowling bald headed guy like me I ended up moving now I live abroad. Now I live in South Asia people don’t tell me in my face but as a bald guy I notice I have a lot less chances of going out with girls because here they follow social media a lot and most girls want a tall skinny handsome guy with thick full set of hair.
Do you think I talk about openly? do you think I give a shit no I just try harder that’s life don’t ever let it get into your head because it will become exaggerated remember universe works whatever your thought is whatever you focus on you’ll get more of.
I change my thoughts and I still get rejected tons I don’t let it bother me I’m still bald, I bust my ass to have this nice body and make a good income even though I get rejected a lot still lots in Asian however still very pretty girl still go out with me.
i think it's white supremacist conditionin in part to me there's no women on earth finer than black women and personally i can see why men would just wanna fuck ya your fine ass hell i myself wanna fuck ya but i also understand that most women wanna be valued non-sexually than desired sexually in order to get that from men understand that ya gotta be more than just fine like ya are anyway here's some youtube channels to help ya with your love life hello ladies with rom wills mr. locario women's channel locario speaks alexyss k. tylor return of the mack lessons izm radio tariq radio passion 4 profession tara stiles pop sugar fitness yoga with adriene tone it up body rock xhit daily fitness blender be fit sarah fit bikini model fitness crossfit zuzka light rebeka borucki-bex life jessica smith tv blogilates sceiencebasedsixpack. com thomas delauer the health site. com beauty iq vicky justiz get fit by ivana massy arias daisy keech kenicherie tanaye penn tiffanie ray annabelle hayes renee mowatt abigail ekweghi mandy rose jane kate fitness the bk booty fitness roberta's gym hana milly bright side sonja lauren womens workout channel every day bright nicolettaxo ways and how cindy flores lumowell maryam hamton glamrs rebecca-louise
"Extra" "hard" subjective terms, if you put out you lose out. Without shared beliefs your relationships will always end in ruin. What do you believe? Are your beliefs conducive to healthy relationships? Saving for marriage is the best way to get marriage and keep marriage. That is proven across the board in all countries, ethnicities, and beliefs. However, Jesus is the only one who can provide the foundation for a healthy relationship, first with God, then people. If a marriage is not found in Christ it will have all the problems of the world and no solution. Christ Commands Men to love their wives as he did the church. That is perfect sacrificial love. Women are to respect their husbands as the church does Jesus. If you refuse Jesus, you refuse marriage. You will follow empty relationship after empty relationship, always thirsting never being filled. You can find eternal peace in Jesus.
Matthew 11:28 - 30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Probably not skin color most cases.
White women complain about guys just wanting sex ALL THE TIME.
Usually because they're engaging in hookup culture on Tinder or whatever, and most sane guys would just pump and dump women like that, because women with high body counts do not make good girlfriends or wives.
They go after these top-teir guys who have many options of women.
I bet you have tons of guys in your friend zone or orbit online and offline who would want to be committed to you, but do you want that from them?
Or are you chasing "other" sorts of men?
Just be honest with yourself.
Yes, there is racism. But gender dynamics are skewed right now because MANY Western Women of all races are just giving themselves out like candy.
What do you think will happen? Top-tier dudes with many options will have their fill of chocolate for the day or week and then go back to vanilla or caramel. Lmao.
My thoughts.
Your skin color could be a factor, but unlikely. I think you are also seeing the good side of these white girls lives. I do know at least one blonde white girl who tried to commit suicide because of the way she was treated. You are not the only one.
That being said you do have a fantastic figure, so the boys will want you sexually. The more attractive a girl is the harder it can be to get the confidence to ask her out.
Also I think you may be falling into the trap of wanting the boys that all the other girls want. Those guys 75 percent of the time want only one thing.
I think your just facing the same problems as most girls do. Keep your head held high.
serious as in marriage materal?
It's possible, but not the only reason. I've met multiple black/white couples personally but the norm is certainly common race, w/w, b/b/, chinese/chinese, indian/indian, etc...
I think the bigger issue is what you project. You project a negative "I'm hurt inside" emotional projection. Ignore the physical, most guys would find you attractive in some way, but personality makes a guy serious.
So question is why you project that image and correct the inner "heart". That's what I'd do. Even so, I've met plenty of single women white, chinese, whom takes long time to find a serious guy, so it's time and effort.
I think you find similar complaints about young men are pervasive in women of all colors.
All men want sex
Typically the men who aggressively walk to women ask them out and date are narcissistic so you get men who love themselves and want sex.
Your very beautiful I am sure that less aggressive normal guys find it hard to approach you.
A good man doesn't care what race you are. I am as whitebread as can be. My girlfriend is very Asian darker skin she is my queen for 4 years.
So it will happen, but also understand some white men are looking for women of color like some black men are looking for white women. To basicly have an exotic f*#&.
Have you asked any guys out?
You may be scaring normal guys off if you always dress like that, also you said they can get "hot" guys, are you ignoring normal average guys?
You say guys only want sex, that could be cause your going after all the hot guys, I saw a hilarious YouTube video where some lady was claiming the hot guys at a college had "golden penis syndrome", basically the hot guys know they can always get a nother girl so they hit it and quite it, kind of like how girls do.
I doubt all of UK is prejudice against your skin, lower your standards, learn to pick and choose what matters to you, want vs need, you need a nice guy interested in more than just sex, you just want hum to have abs and be tall. Make the first move
Wow, a lot of people are beating around the bush. It's entirely possible that there are other factors involved like behaviour or how you present yourself etc. (this fact should not be underestimated) but the facts remain the facts. You're in a predominantly white area so you where guys have probably only ever considered relationships with other white people, being black is a very big thing. Im a black guy at a uni where everyone is pretty much white or Asian, I'm shocked to see other black people sometimes (I've come across only 1 Latin American person too). Right now, I'm not even searching because it's a classic case of not being my types type. Good thing for you, you're open to all races, and the world is much bigger than wherever you're at rn
It's because guys today usually suck for everyone. Although I don't know much about the uk dating scene, that's true for the US. You have to look for the right kind of guys, and notice the red flags as soon as possible. You're beautiful, and id wife you up real quick 😫 but focusing on race and letting you hold you back would just create a barrier between you and other people, especially of other colors. It will separate you and make them feel like they can never fully connect because you see yourself as different from them even if they don't see it. It'll cause tension that makes people not want to get serious. Id say not to worry about it too much, and go for the nerdy guys. Theyre cutest and sweetest
Well... You're attractive...
Maybe there's something unsettling about you that guys perceive.
I'm a white dude who dates a black girl and I hope things go really well on the long term. Don't lose hope. You're either unlucky with guys or need to work on yourself a bit. That's all there is to it. Oh and yeah SOME white guys are racist but will still find you hot, I'll give you that.
Well, all I can say is dudes in the UK must be idiots! All I see in those two pictures is a beautiful woman and if I lived in the UK and ran into you I'd definitely hit on you and we'd hopefully hit it off.
All I can say is just be patient, you've just had bad luck and eventually you will find a guy that will appreciate you and is worthy for you to date. I'm curious, do you live in a smaller city? Maybe try going out someplace different to get out of your comfort zone and possibly meet some other guys.
I’m a dark skin woman. I live in South Florida and men from of different race and skin tones are attracted to me. I know the feeling of uncertainty if someone admires you’re beauty and let me tell you that self-confidence is the key to unlock any door. Those who gravitate towards you will and those who don’t they won’t. Don’t seek validation and go with the flow.
It also depends on where you live because you said the UK and I am not too sure how anything functions there. I grew up in South Florida my entire life and it’s common to see interracial couples etc.
I don't think you're telling us the full story. Your exes, what caused the break up? And please don't tell me nobody is currently approaching you, that's bs.
Just based off everything, I will put it to one of these 4 things:
1) Crazy high standards.
2) You might have a temper (I don't know you personally, but if a girl has a temper on a date, there won't be a second date)
3) You overlook some guys that might be interested in you.
4) Your dress isn't the most modest, so guys get the wrong idea.
I would want you to elaborate further and tell us if there is something about yourself that you could maybe change. Truth of the matter is, whether you like it or not sexual racism does exist. People have types, and you can't force them to pick otherwise. You shouldn't want people that aren't interested in you, just give your attention to those who are.
First off you are gorgeous, you'll find someone but also you are right about people treating white girls better then other girls and it's stupid. I'm Irish and grew up in the UK in a working class area where like the only white people are pretty much Irish or Polish everyone else is African, Indian, Arabian etc. Growing up in a multicultural area for me at least women are just women. So I'm thinking if it is mostly white British areas it must be just a case of they don't have experience with different cultures and it scares them
The only thing holding you back is your extremely high and unrealistic expectations. You receive lots of offers but to you they don't count because they don't meet your very high standards.
Since men date down for sex but they almost never marry down, your problem is the problem most young women have. They chase after the hottest guys that will date them for sex or and reject less attractive guys within their league that would marry them.
After numerous one night stands and going nowhere relationship, in a few more years you will realize that you must look for a guy that will marry you; not just fuck you. However, by then, you have lost more of your bloom and the guys you could have but rejected will no longer want you. Instead, they will want someone like you were in your late teens to early twenties.
I think you are beautiful. If I was younger, I would love to be with you. I am sorry that you feel that way about your skin color. I like dark shinned girls. You are very attractive and I believe that where ever you are, guys would want sex from you. All the best.
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