I always dated guys but I always halted myself from turning those dates into relationships. Nothing wrong with the guys, I just never felt an emotional connection or physical attraction with them. I didn’t want to start a relationship when it didn’t feel right and then have that relationship turn into a horrible drama, so I always kept it honest with the guys I dated. Anyway, I recently met a guy and it feels like he is Mr. Right. A few days back he asked about my past relationships, I told him I didn’t have any and pretty much explained I had only dated guys. He seemed really shocked because at 32 I had never had a relationship before. He reacted really surprised but not so much in a bad way.
Guys: is it odd if a woman has never had a boyfriend?
Honestly at 32 it seems like a positive trait for you. There is a difference between being a red flag for others and reserving yourself and being smart about what relationships you get into. It makes you seem smarter and more responsible I guess.
Having relationships isn't a red flag either at all. Tbh I think between adults it doesn't matter how many or how little you have had. Though at my age if you have gone through one and it failed thats a red flag. Because it shows you probably aren't mature enough for a relationship or still have trauma.
You just provided an excellent explanation for why you have never been in a relationship. Not everyone feels connected to every person they date. It makes sense that the higher your number hoes the more odd it is. It might make guys you date or potentially date in the future think twice whether it's worth dating you. Most people date in hopes of moving forward and turning it into a lifelong relationship. So I get why you are asking this. But you still provided a good explanation and that says a lot.
It can be depending on how she interacts with you. Most women who haven't had a relationship just haven't been lucky they are set in their own ways about men, relationships and monogamy. You'll see once you start asking questions.
Yeah, it is odd if a woman never had a real relationship from a traditional POV but in this age there's tons of women who bounce from one guy to another and never can be in a relationship... either because she doesn't want to and/or guys will not take her seriously since she doesn't take herself seriously.
So you suck at picking the right guy OR you never met the right guy. What makes you think this guy is any different? Or is it that you are getting concerned that your eggs are getting old and end of game buzzer will sound soon?
You have a short period of time to find the right guy and get him hooked & he better be hooked on more than looks & sex cause those things fade or can easily be found elsewhere.
I have dated different guys for a LONG time. I’ve always been very clear that the most important thing for me is emotional connection and physical attraction. I didn’t feel that with any of the guys I dated, in some cases I found big red flags. I don’t like the idea of getting into a relationship when I don’t feel a good connection with a guy and when I see red flags, I’ve been patient to find “Mr. Right” and not rush into staring an unnecessary relationship that may result in drama. I don’t worry about not having kids, I personally don’t want marriage, kids, a house and dog…but I’m not enclosed to that idea either. That is exactly what I found with the guy I’m with now. We have a great emotional connection, attraction, similar interest and goals.
So why are you asking about not having a boyfriend? There's a lot of mid to late 30s women who regret not focusing on finding the right guy or who are deluded into thinking they have unlimited time to find him. A woman's prime years for attracting a guy are limited & if she doesn't have more to offer than looks/sex it's a HUGE problem to get a guy to take her seriously. The symptom of not being taken seriously is never being able to find somebody too.
it would be odd only to the wrong people for you. Persons attitude says a lot about them and tendency for them to justify their own actions. So in our society it will be odd to some people that you haven't had a boyfriend yet they won't bother with those that dont standards. In my experience there are 2 types of people when it comes to relationships - ones that take it very seriously, cautiously and search for deep meaningful connections and second that are more free, fluid when it comes to it, they may look only for sex/funetc. Okay, maybe third as well which is - confused. But 2 are the core.
When you look at the past 1. st type was normal before and nowdays 2nd is. So dont bother as both are normal. Both just need their cup of tea.
No. I just assume she has high standards (higher than the typical woman's super-high standards) and/or sleeps around instead of dating.
While you've been with tons of men, the only difference is, you've never gone steady with them, while the majority of women do (they date the bad boys, then get cheated on, dumped, or used up by them).
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Asker
1 y
Lol In all honesty I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t see the point of getting involved with someone that you are not 100% interested on. If you are getting red flags during the dating period, why would you want to have sex and worse, start a relationship with that person? Is like inviting unnecessary drama. So yes, I’ve only dated because I’ve thought is the more responsible for myself and heart🤷🏻♀️ Funny though, I’ve never dated a bad boy 🤔
Not necessarily. I say that because I have only had one girlfriend and that only lasted 2 months. And I'm still a virgin at 26. So if her life has gone anywhere similar to mine, not only is it not weird for her to never have had a boyfriend, it's also IMPRESSIVE as long as it's not because of any major personality, mental, or physical health issues.
I don't think it's surprising and no it's not a bad thing because it likely happens to guys too. You just had bad luck beforehand from getting to find and know the right person in your life. Sometimes it all comes down to timing and circumstance to find the right one. It happens.
It's not "odd" so much as that there comes a point where I just start to wonder why she hasn't found anyone to date yet. Finding men to date is easy enough for women that when she hasn't had any luck, it starts to become an indictment of what kind of person she is to deal with. Again though, that's only after a certain point. Like if you're in your 30s and you haven't dated anyone, there had better be some fantastic cogent reasons why.
If things never felt right. Don’t blame you for not taking the leap. So kind of you thinking about the other person’s feelings by being upfront and honest with them.
You sound very much like a keeper to the right person. Good luck!
It can be a red flag to be in your 30’s without any real past relationships, but I think it’s changing. We’re getting closer and closer to 30-50% of young adults being single and even virgins by 30. Our society is simply in decline.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
1 y
Most of society finds it more shocking for a woman to reach a certain age compared to a guy to have never dated or never had a relationship before, since women don't have to do the pursuing or asking out or being the initiator like men have always been expected to
It's not a problem. There were likely many situationships and things close to it that never came to true fruition whether from shyness or timing. If they've never had any interactions like I described it could be weird.
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