Does married male coworker in mid-40s like me (early 30's)?

i started a new job about 2 months ago and I work in corp environment, mainly males. I am one of the youngest (early 30s), female emp in my org with a sr job. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years. There’s a smart/witty/good-looking/married with one kid male coworker, who I will call “bob”, and he’s in a sr job, who’s in mid-40’s.

I was asgned by my boss to have Bob teach me the ropes of how the organization works and how we operate our various projects. After my first meeting with him about 3 weeks ago, I KNEW rt away that he likes me. Why? He started asking personal questions like what I am doing over the weekend. when I said I’m going with my boyfriend to vegas, he asked, “what did you say?” so I can repeat the fact that I have a boyfriend. he still pursued me. I asked him “what are you doing this wkend?”. He was a bit reserved, but opened next time and said he’s wife is making him do stuff over the wkend and he rolled his eyes – I sensed he’s having a hard time with wife (she is a lot older than him, his kid is half his age).

he cont over the next few wks visiting my cube to “teach” me about comp, staying a little longer after our meetings to just talk to me. he mention he used to go bicycling during his lunch break and I chimed in saying that’s cool, and he proceeded to tell me the people that he used to go with doesn’t work there anymore and hinted if I want to join him.

He’s teased me countless times, especially in front of other co-workers during our training courses. He’s paces in the hallway to see me, even though he doesn’t really need to walk there. he runs into me in random places. He visits my cube often and even sits on my desk (which I’ve never seen him do with other ppl) and talks really close to me. There were times to when I needed to work with him and I said to come to my cube, but he would always book a conf rm for just the two of us. he has these long gazes with me when I’m talking. Bob plays with his hair, always copying my gestures, and he tends to “stroke” things! he has NOT asked me to lunch yet

I feel like the dynamics has changed this wk, however, I feel like Bob is distancing himself from me. He stop by my cube just once this week (he did ask me how I was doing with his legs spread out and that my hair looks nice). And he said last min he’s working from home when we had mtg so we couldn’t meet in person because of a car prob he had earlier this week. He’s still in the mtgs with me and helping out. He no longer hangs out after our meeting to shoot the breeze. all of sudden the flirting stopped. I ckd his calendar and he does have other meetings. he still responds quickly to my emails late at night (everyone works late).

Is he playing hard to get? what does this all mean? he told me earlier that he has to get a HUGE assignment started. I am very attracted to him and I KNOW I shouldn’t even think about seeing/dating another coworker (since he’s married and I have boyfriend that I met at old comp).


Most Helpful Girl

  • well it seems like you have your answer to your question already.

    but on the flip side... maybe he's just really friendly (:S) and just wants to meet other women but not in a romantic way since he's been with his wife for a long time and just wants to talk to you and get to know you?

    not the greatest answer I know but I don't really know since I'm still in my teens...

    perhaps this is infatuation and the phase will end soon. but like if you like him I wouldn't hurt your current boyfriend by holding on to him in a relationship when you have feelings for someone else and not so much for him anymore (?)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • To me this is weird. I always hear about sexual harassment, but never seen it actually. Also it seems that girls are more charmed than harassed when flirting occurs.

    Do you like your co-worker more or your boyfriend more?

    I don't agree with having an affair, but its your life. Do you care about your boyfriend? because if your doing this, then you don't deserve him.

    Is he playing hard to get? What does this all mean?

    Just ask your co-worker directly that if he likes you or not. Also this is probably a phase in his life, he probably wishes his wife was young and beautiful again. Have you ever asked anyone else about your co-workers behavior?


What Girls Said 1

  • I stopped reading once I read that you've been in a long-term relationship. Worse, this man is married.

    Focus on your job and boyfriend and push the thought of "Bob" out of your head. It can only lead to trouble and drama.

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