I feel so hopelessly average and seems like I'll never get a boyfriend?

I am an average looking (or so it seems) 23 year old girl. I have my share of problems- I suffer from anxiety and a bit of depression and hate going out.

I have difficulty making friends and really don't have any acquaintances in college. Never had a real boyfriend and am a virgin. Day in and day out, I go through the same boring old routine- wake up, get ready, catch the 8 am train, walk about half a mile to school, take class, and come back home again.

Nothing ever happens during school or in the process. I sometimes frequent the coffee shop, in hopes that I will catch the look of a cute guy, but nothing like that has ever occurred (maybe that only happens in movies and books?). No guys approach me or blatantly hit on me (the only time a guy has hit on me this year said I have a pretty face, but it probably was out of pity for the lonely looking, sad girl), no girl strikes up a conversation with me.

I am at a loss.

I feel like I will never ever meet anybody at this rate. I understand the phrase "my loneliness is killing me" more clearly now.

My life is so freaking boring. It's embarrassing how I must resort to spending time with my mother during the weekends because I have no friends. People my age are out with their own peers, while I am the odd one hanging out with her mom.

I feel like somehow I have my appearance to blame for this pitiful life. I know I'm not ugly, but I'm not really labelled as the pretty girl. I just happen to be a bookish-nerdy looking average nice girl.

Odd this is, I used to be significantly more attractive 2 years ago, or so it seemed. People in class would approach me and guys would show interest in me. Now, nobody strikes up any form of convo with me and guys rarely if ever approach. The only thing that has changed from then and now is how more depressed I've gotten (thankfully, I'm taking meds) and how I found my first strand of white hair last week. I am getting uglier and older.

I know this is a long rant, and most of you probably won't read all of this junk, but hopefully, somebody out here can relate to some of my feelings and have any suggestions to make?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't put yourself down, find yourself. Have you ever heard of the placebo affect? happy energy draws people in, emrace yourself, do what you enjoy and makes you happy without caring what others think. You are you and not everyone will love you but the ones that like you will respect you for who you are.

    Seriously, just find things that interest you and make you feel good. Don't worry about the small things now, having a boyfriend may not be the best thing for you right now. Acheive a much as you can now and don't worry about this now. All of Gods children are beautiful, don't think different :P

    • no offense, but your last sentence is a little bit too cliched :p

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • This isn't advice but I do understand what you're going through. You sound like the exact female version of me. I'm 23, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, don't really have any acquaintances in college.

    You're not alone.

    • thanks:)

    • Same here. We should throw a party for all the lonely GAG virgins in their 20's. :(

    • somehow, I have a feeling that being a virgin in your early 20s isn't all that abnormal.

  • i'm 22 and still virgin, never had a girlfriend, I feel your pain

    • thanks for feeling the pain

    • Show All
    • yea, and as a girl, it sucks to be almost never approached.

    • i hate how low slef-esteem is seen as weakness in a girl's point of view, perspective

  • Awww. :(

  • i'm 24 and in the same boat

  • be glad you don't have to initiate anything

    • ...i never get approached (at least by decent guys)

    • Show All
    • they are probably nervous.

    • no it's likely me, I hate how everything has to be a guy's fault

  • you are not alone

    • well it seems like it, at least where I am. everybody else around me in my age group seems to have such a great social life and no problems approaching one another...i seem like the odd one out

    • yeah because I'm also 23 and never had a girlfriend, also still a virgin

What Girls Said 2

  • Do you have Facebook? A lot of people make friends on there.

    I'm the same age and I'm having the exact same problem. The only difference is I don't have depression (anymore). I think that the problem is that no one is really approaching each other anymore, especially in our age group. Everyone is so shy now. It's just not worth the rejection for most people (just look at some of the answers/questions on here). Then you have the whole hook up culture thing. Not many people are interested in relationships and opt for FWB type situations.

    About making friends. If you don't already have a circle of friends by sophomore year it will be pretty difficult to make friends (at school). Everyone has already established their circles and don't really have a need for more friends. You should probably trying going out to a variety of places too, I don't have too much faith in anyone these days just approaching, but you never know, it may happen.

    • i do have Facebook, but I absolutely loathe it.

  • You have to act friendly or else people will think that you want to be left alone. I hang out with my mom too much too because I have no friends really. You should join meetup.com and attend some group meetings in your area. It will help you get out there and meet people.

    • yea, but stuff like meetup.com seems so cheesy

    • well I mean if you're all by yourself, it can only help.

    • true, true