Should I learn to love my body or diet?

[Anonymous]

i am 16, 5foot3in and 125 pounds

i have been struggling with my body image for years. i was on laxatives, trying to lose weight, attempted to purge (i threw up once), self harm/ed, counted calories everyday, hated going to the bathroom because of the mirrors,...

i used to be 110 pounds. i was getting compliments but i obssessed too much and ended up gaining by starving, binging,.. etc.

i ended up getting ibs and vitamin defecnies and extreme fatigue. i was also extremely depressed, tha tled to suicidal thoughts.
i am doing better andi feel myself wanting to self harm again or try to purge.

i feel like i gained. but i have honestly so, so tired of everything. i don't know what to do.

[That-Guy]

I am sure you've done a google search "body weight issues?" Have you spent some time reading other people's experiences and their road to dealing with this issue?

You aren't the first girl to deal with this as society puts a lot of pressure on image for women. However... if you haven't done so already... i am sure there's some story you can find that resonates with you and maybe shed some light on a healthier and positive way to live life.

I'm an active person and i've never paid attention to the scale (i'm also not a girl so i don't know what this drives this phenomenon). I just focus on getting better, improving and keep chipping away.

My mind set is: "i do the best i can on my body, if someone judges me or rejects me for it? Then no problem... i'm not their guy."

[scuff1986]

you should always be proud of who you are and not worry about what others think. If your happy with how you look then stay that way, you shouldn't feel like you have to be a set size to be happy

[Xoxoxooo123]

Hunny, you're 16. You're in a perfectly normal Bmi range and trust me you will mature completely later on in your life. And please don't try purging. It's seriously so stupid and harmful. It sounds like you are going through a lot of feelings of low self esteem. Maybe you should try doing things that make you feel better about yourself like pick up a new sport? Biking is really fun. You could also just try to eat more fruits and veggies. Calorie counting is addicting I feel ya, but maybe focus more on eating healthy for yourself. Also screw everyone and their fake compliments lol.

[Asker]

are you calling mental illness stupid? i don't have any mental illness but i know people (in fact, a family member) and she purged and she's much older than you. it's not about maturing. and i eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. i am an athlete, i play tennis.

[Xoxoxooo123]

No honestly I'm not lol. I'm just letting you know if you haven't started purging heavily yet and you're considering doing it it is extremely addicting and you will regret it. I am simply offering healthier alternatives that you could involve yourself in versus eating disordered behaviors. Need my advice or not. And good for you. I am simply stating facts- your body is growing and you are maturing.

[Asker]

i understand. i'm sorry, i was having a really bad night, sorry for accusing you of anything

[Xoxoxooo123]

Its okay hun, please be safe, if you need help feel free to message me.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Simple answer: If you are not in a mentally healthy enough state then you should NOT diet. You are going to be prone to doing unhealthy things so my advice is to not even consider dieting without the assistance and guidance of a doctor, and even then not before you work out these personal mental issues. You will hurt yourself and you're not overweight to begin with.

[Gunit247]

i think u should diet cuz 125 is a lot for ur height. i also think even 110 is still too much for ur height. i think u really need to lose 45lbs and get down to 80

[Intraluminal]

Please tell me you're in therapy. You have a severe eating disorder and you need help. Please get help ASAP.

[Asker]

there's not way i have an eating disorder, i'm too fat to have one. everyone will laugh if i ask for help

[Intraluminal]

No one will laugh. You do need help or you're probably going to die.

[Asker]

i'm not going to die, i eat enough. 1600 calories a day. i used to eat 1200. its just a mental thing, my head is telling me i'm fat, i see other skinny girls and decide to throw my lunch away. i see someone with a flat stomach and i punish myself for not having one by trying to purge. i chew food and spit it out. i cut myself when i realize i gained weight.

[blue_sun]

1600 calories a day is actually probably slowly killing you. Slowly, but surely.

[Intraluminal]

It's not starvation that will kill you, or at least that's not the greatest worry. The purging can upset your electrolytes and kill you (besides rotting your teeth), and you may cut yourself too badly or get an infection, but those are not the worst things.

The worst thing is that your disorder is progressive. Without treatment, it always gets worse. Your false vision of yourself as fat will get worse. You need help.

www.oddee.com/.../..._anorexia_4-walk-12-hours.jpg
www.oddee.com/.../a97982_anorexia_2-model.jpg

[Asker]

my cuts aren't deep enough for it to be dangerous. the deepest i've ever cut only had a few drops of blood drip down my wrist.
i've only purged once. everything iv'e done hasn't been bad enough for me to get help. i just wish i'd have someone to help me get through it but my friends at school aren'ts the kinds i can trust. i can trust no one. my true friend i've met went to a different school and we no longer talk.

[Intraluminal]

Don't you think that the fact that you feel you can't trust anyone means something? You need to trust your parents. I'm sure they love you. Go to them and tell them how you feel. I'm certain you're a great person, but everyone needs help now and then and someone to trust.

[Asker]

i grew up watching horrible things happen. people are rude and can be horrible. i was taught to not trust anyone too easily, because there is always a chance they will use your trust against you. and as for my parents, i trust them, but i just think they won't understand. they won't get me help, they'll call me names (a mentally ill person; they call me that sometimes) and tell me to wake up from whatever i'm thinking, tell me to study to get my mind off of things,.. i don't know.

[Intraluminal]

I can't say this too strongly. You are in danger. Eating disorders are deadly. Body image disorders are deadly. I think deep down you know this yourself, and that's why you're reaching out now. You believe you can trust your parents, well, get the information you need on the web - look up eating disorders, bulimia, and the death rates. Then go to your parents.

[Asker]

i just tried to test my parents to see if they care. i told them i've been having trouble staying asleep (which is true). they just laughed and said to use that opportunity to study more. i told them i feel so tired all the time and my mom told me just to bear with it. i drink 5 cups of coffee per week and it doesn't help at all. and i do not have an eating disorder. i just obsess about eating and food and my body. i cut myself last night after being self harm free for 4 months. i don't have any motivation anymore.

[Intraluminal]

I think that you're minimizing the problem when you talk to your parents, but the most important thing is for you to get the help you need. Go to your guidance counselor at school or maybe one of the women at your church. I will post a search later.

[Intraluminal]

Check out this video.
edition.cnn.com/.../...ansformation-orig-vstan.cnn

[sm17deloro]

Im about to turn 16 Im 5'3'' and Im 140 lbs and I love my body as it is. You sound skinny AF! Dont diet you sound perfectly fine

[apple24]

You should love your body and try to gind a healthy diet!

[Thames]

Love your body! 🙌