Most Helpful Guys
A few thoughts and impressions.
Has your mom always been like this, or recent since you got a boyfriend. My guess is she is either trying to control you by emotional abuse, or she does not like how you are presenting yourself and you are drawing people she doesnt' like, so it on you about changing. This does happen with young girls and parents... like some girls would wear almost nothing sometimes, or floosey stuff and not "get it". I can't tell if this is sinister (parent is ill) or a parent who is trying to do good but having difficulty what to do (lack of skills).
Either way though, it is emotionally abusive and wrong, she is tearing up your self esteem, which is the wrong thing to do to a girl. Where is dad... my guess is he not the strong one. you are paying the price and asking how do you cope?
First off, your reaction is normal human. Withdrawing socially... feels safe, but the withdraw is wrong direction... we are social creatures. so you feel shame instead of love and connection (oxytocin). Thus, it feels worse.
My honest suggestion is time to go before parents and say, this is not working, time for us to go to counseling, I need a 3rd party on my side. school counselor is start if they won't fund it. A counselor could help assess if this is a protective parent for good reason or they are suffering from their own issues of letting you out of the nest and projecting their junk onto you and help them to better manage.
It is not easy at this age for either side, and for this to be going on, something went awry before this in the marriage... again best guess from experience...
Meditate - to cut the stress
Do have social outlets if you can get them, with girlfriends
boyfriend - don't know what to say about that... trouble given mom has torn you down... dumb move mom... now you are cannon fodder for most guys. So I'd keep him at bay.
You'll make a fine psychologist once you get through all of this, sort it out and understand better what is going on.
Become insecure about your insecurities. As math teaches us 2 negatives make a positive.
In all seriousness, you need something to focus on. Can't stand your mother? Jog, run, gym whatever. Get a hobby that keeps your out of your house, volunteer for some shit, maybe an animal pound. Photography, it's easy, you have a great camera right there. Make your boyfriend take you to places so you can snap a pic, get a blog going, post pictures.
You have so many thing that you can do, but all you focus on are on the words your mother said about having a few pounds too many, the world is bigger than the little box you have made yourself live in.
Most Helpful Girl
With a lot of difficulty in my case, while I spent ages agonising over whether to confess my insecurity and risk embarrassing myself. In the end I took the plunge and spoke about it, and realise now just how unimportant my problem is. My only regret is not talking about it sooner.
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