Let me be clear I'm not against marijuana and will even happily have a social puff. My partner however smokes a lot. Cool. We live in New Zealand where it is still illegal although that may change in a couple months. His PARENTS are 100% against it and will be even when its legalised. So we're saving to buy our first house and his parents have a money gift of $100,000 to give to us (rich folk huh) with the condition that he (we) at least TRY CADS (community alcohol and drug services). And of course my man doesn't wanna do it because he's basically a selfish c u next Tuesday. He doesn't have to "change", he just has to visit and see if its something he'd be interested in. For their sake I guess. And when we discuss it he just flips. He's a great guy in every other way, holds down a good job, good dad to our child. And I'm sure there's dumb parent/child/family dramas that make him think twice too, but nothing bad enough to validate him putting us all out like this. Truly.. the man has lived a privileged life it even makes me feel weird sometimes. I mean he's really not thinking about how much money we can save is he? My inlaws just want us to buy a average house but next to a better school for our kids and obviously this costs more so they're willing to put up the extra under this one condition which is just too much for him. What can I do to help this so called man get his head out of his ass and visit? Dont tell me I can't force him because I can, but how? He's so PRO marijuana it's just so hard for him to see ANY negatives to it. In all honesty this has led me to believe his 10 year relationship with the substance has fried him just a little..