Can I give my psychiatrist my journal instead of talking so I don't lie (please read the details)?

SomeGUYonGAG
I promised myself that I would see a psychiatrist this year to finally get help for my mental illness.

One of the problems I have is that I make a great effort to hide my symptoms, I would even avoid eye contact with people because I would think that they would find out by looking into my eyes.
I remember when I was 14 I tried to open up to my mom about my delusions and suicidal thoughts, but she blasted me and threatened to put me in a mental institution. I've tried opening up to her other times throughout the years, but she always yelled at me, put me down and refused to try to understand, as if I'm in control of my own mind. Her and other people would make me feel bad, telling me about the other people in the world who are suffering worse and always one upping me on "victim status" and made me feel guilty.
So for so long I've been playing a facade. I lie to everyone and tell them I'm doing fine even though I'm having delusions, audio and visual hallucinations, disorganized thinking and emotions, suicidal thoughts, etc. I'm basically the color blue that painted itself yellow to sheild the fact that it's blue.
I've done it for so long that I can't stop, even if I really need to. If I seek help, I'm going to lie, I'm going to wear my mask and play the facade I always have just to shield myself.
But I have a journal that I write things down in. My delusions, hallucination, the voices in my head, etc. I have no problem writing it in a journal, maybe I can write the truth and nothing but the truth in there and even write letters to the psychiatrist to explain everything. Of course I'll still come in so they can observe my behavior.

If my tongue can't tell the truth then maybe my pen will.
Can I give my psychiatrist my journal instead of talking so I dont lie (please read the details)?
Can I give my psychiatrist my journal instead of talking so I don't lie (please read the details)?
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