Quarantine is making me feel suicidal. What can I do to feel better?

Anonymous
I’ve struggled with depression practically my whole life. I was diagnosed as a child, but my mom is very against therapy and medications. For the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me and I was depressed for no reason, but I got older and realized that I just was in a lot of shitty situations as a child. My family is a dysfunctional mess, I had a lot of pressure placed on me, I didn’t have many friends, and a lot of other stuff. Finally I went off to college, got a boyfriend, and made new friends and I finally started doing better. But thanks to Covid-19 I had to come back home to my family. My mom doesn’t want me leaving the house, even for groceries. I haven’t left my house since mid March, I don’t have a great relationship with my family, I haven’t seen my boyfriend and weeks and we’ve just been arguing over the phone non-stop because we’re both stressed out, I work from home and hate my job, I haven’t been able to see my friends, and a lot of people from my past have been contacting me (I’m guessing since they’re bored) and bringing up old rotten memories. I pretty much just lay in bed all day long and cry. I don’t know what else to do.
Quarantine is making me feel suicidal. What can I do to feel better?
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