my family think that way
I am just lazy to them if the house isn't clean. I have no energy to do anything but my work.
Really, it's an accomplishment that you're able to get your actual work done. I know that depression can make it hard to even do the necessary things, much less anything extra.
Its not as bad as it use to be. I use to stay in bed and do nothing. Like no school and no job. I just got up to eat once a day and shower. Now, I force myself and study even if I don't accomplish much. I feel empowered. Now if only I could force myself to drive so that I could get my license.
What's stopping you from learning to drive?
I have my permeant which means I can practice with someone but I don't have anyone willing to spend the time teach me. I need someone who can force me to drive everyday even if its just a 10 min drive to get comfortable behind the wheel. It use to be because of my depression. I took lots of medicine and it would make me dizzy. I still have some side effects. But right now its mostly money and fear and waiting for other people to give me the time of day.
Ok, I see. That is a challenge. You're not missing much though. I hate driving. I always have, ever since I first learned. I got my license when I was only 16. And now, I'm completely over it. I don't know if you have anxiety along with your depression, but driving isn't fun for people with anxiety.
Yeah I do
I have less now in days
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I had this boss recently that was actually a coach for autistic people. I was grateful in the beginning because I ould finish my apprenticeship that I already worked 1.5 half years out of 2 on. But when he started working with me it kept getting worse. The coach I had before when I was at the other job I was actually happy with butthis guy was such a douche. He's the boss of all the coaches that work in Zürich, he has to run the whole office so he barely had any time for me especially when the corona thing happened as well. So he just gave me stuff to do and told me to read some summaries of books about planning and then just expected me to work independently. If I was good at that I wouldn't have been in that stupid place in the first place.
Then he got upset when I didn't magically learn to organise myself because of those books I read. It's something I've been working on since primary school but he thinks it'll just work because he gave the order. When I tried to explain to him where I was having difficulties and he listened but didn't understand it or take it seriously. He also said I was hiding behind autism and he told me like 20 times how he gave me a chance to finish my apprenticeship here and that I didn't have much to do now and I should take the innitiative more and not just do the minimum and stuff. I became less and less grateful everytime he told me to be grateful. by the way he didn't pay me anything and got money from the disability insurance for employing me and for coaching me so it's not like he was taking a loss. There were thes two tests I had to take with him for the apprenticeship that took an hour for both at the old place but he wanted me to do 15 hours of work for each one seperately. And I even had to do a 15 minute presentation for the second one. I was so not motivated to do this shit which made it quite hard to get through.
No matter what I told him he just kept going with his plan and didn't care about my position. But I pushed myself really hard at my old job and it wasn't good for me at all. So now I don't let anyone push me to go faster than I want to. I'll do as much work as I'm comfortable doing and that's it. Well now I won't be doing any work at all. I hope I can get disability and then work on things I wanna do at home like my youtube channel and stuff. I'll do more when I can handle more that's how it should be. There will always be people who don't get anything and we just have to stand up for ourselves and make sure that we get what we need because the world doesn't give a fuck most of the time.
So stay strong and take care of yourself no matter what oher people say. I kinda went on a rant because this boss seemed kinda nice in the beginning but turned out to be a huge douchebag and he's annoying me quite a bit.
I am really 😐 sorry fuck that guy