HELP? I have the Obsession for wanting my stomach absolutely flat?

hello peeps
so, I'm 20 and before this year i never really payed attention to dieting or exercising. I was very skinny until I was 13 so I thought i had no problem with getting fatter, but then teenage years and high school came, and stress along with them. I gained a lot of weight and at the same time i was ALWAYS so LAZY. I never exercised: I got to weigh just above 70kg (I am 1.69 cm), and the scale and BMI told me I was overweight even tho my friends did not think I was. But now it's different , I lost weight , I pay attention to the calories I eat, I exercise everyday.. the only thing is, I got REALLY OBSESSED with the way I would want to look in the mirror. Every damn second I think about the fat rolls that are still on my stomach despite my weight loss, every time i find myself in front of a mirror, i feel like i need to check my belly, to make sure it's flat enough. I am losing interest on the things that actually matter, for example studying for my Uni etc. And the thing is.. my weight loss results aren't even phenomenal.. i mean yes, I got stronger , I feel healthier but at the same time my body type and my bones are big so I'll always be the "big boned " girl who can't look skinny. Some days I feel skinny but then I take a picture of myself I look fat again.. I just would not want to see those love handles or those extra fat rolls on my body, and I try hard but my body type doesn't allow me to reach the body i would want and probably never have. I have an obsession with counting calories, even the smallest ones. And the worst thing is that I think I am doing all of this not for me, but because I want to look hot for my crush once Uni starts again. I know i sound childish and pathetic, I just never had someone that liked me or not even a boyfriend/girlfriend (I'm BI) and for the weirdest reason I think that people would want me if I get to have the perfect body.
Any advice or help for my situation?
HELP? I have the Obsession for wanting my stomach absolutely flat?
2
1
Add Opinion