How can I feel a bit better about myself when trying to get fit again?

Anonymous
I gained weight since march last year due to quarantine, I went from my ideal weight to 10kg above it, I've since lost a bit of that without really trying, I'm back to a healthy BMI (I was only slightly above it after gaining) and I feel healthy but don't like the way I look.

So I decided to get a grip, I have 3 months to lose about 5-10kg, which is a reasonable target, I'm on a calorie deficit and exercising more, I'm not starving myself and drinking a lot of water.

But despite actively trying to better myself and get back in shape, I hate myself so much, I feel like I permanently messed up, I feel unattractive and hopeless, I feel like I'm going to relapse into my eating disorder.

Do you guys have any tips on how to be kind to myself and not let myself lose hope and get demotivated?
How can I feel a bit better about myself when trying to get fit again?
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