Can you love yourself too much?

Question

There has been this guy at the gym who is really in love with himself. He is always looking at himself in the mirror. This morning I went in the back to wash my hands and I caught him checking out his abs in front of the sinks. I watched a couple of nice looking women walk by him and he did not even glance at either of them. He was too busy looking at his own reflection in the mirror. He is in very good shape but still it is a little weird.

Do you think somebody could love themself so much that they cannot love anyone else?

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

Yes, but nothing you described suggests that that fella is a narcissist. First of all, the gym is a place to do work. Some of us aren’t as easily distracted as the part-timers and fakers. Second of all, if he’s chosen bodybuilding as a career or even as a competitive hobby, he needs to spend time looking in the mirror to evaluate himself in fair comparison to his competition. Also, if you’ve EVER created anything worth admiring, this wouldn’t even be a question. Without knowing his starting point, you can’t fairly judge his compulsion to examine his own progress. Lastly, he could be celibate or homosexual. Not noticing women isn’t a defect or aberration by any reasonable standard. In fact, i would argue it’s a strength in the current day and age.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

That guy doesn't "love" himself he "lusts" himself. I've known others (men and women) who do the same thing.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Maybe. It's a matter of priorities? If a person is so focused on themselves (say, their physique), they won't really care about making room, and time, etc., for someone else.

He may be this dedicated to his body to get chics (or guys.) Or he may be doing it primarily for himself. Because it's where he sees his value. And it's something he can control - his image of himself.

It doesn't give him confidence in a multitude of areas, necessarily, though. He may also feel he's never the smartest, or cleverest, or wisest, or kindest, etc. person in the room. But he can be the guy with the great xxxx (fill in the blank.) Snoooze. Boooring.

Bratsondanielle · Accepted Answer

I'm happy I read the part where you said this is not him because I was thinking damn I can't blame him. But yes of course it's possible to love yourself too much. It's also important not to have way too small self-esteem though so it's a fine balance

Traumasurgeon · Answer

Its a well know psychological concept that the negative traits you notice other people have are often the ones you feel that you’re missing. If you’re upset this guy likes himself so much. It is possible that he's a narcissist. But its more likely that you’re simply jealous that he has more confidence then you do. Just something to think about.

Lliam · Answer

I think it's important to recognize our flaws but still love ourselves. Loving yourself makes it possible to engage joyfully in life. It makes us have self esteem, care for ourselves, and not engage in self destructive behavior.

So I don't think people can love themselves too much unless it makes them arrogant, conceited, selfish and self centered, entitled, and disrespectful of others. That's when self-love is toxic.

People can love themselves and not be vane.

DoctorSex · Answer

We can all Have more compassion for people would be my answer.

Everyone is trying to go from A to B. A bad place to a better place. We have no clue what most people have been through and the most beautiful person can have more of a crippling insecurity than the average looking person.

The journey to self love is not always pretty, he'll get it right at some point. I'd only advise you not to view humans in snapshots and assume things.. but instead view each and everyone of us as a traveller on a long road trying to move from A to B.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

BullShark · Answer

Well, self obsessed people exist. You could even call them narcissists because they're so full of themselves, they either think everyone else's beneath them, regardless of sex and gender, or just not in the same league as they are.

Now I'm not saying it's not a good thing to love yourself and admire your qualities from time to time, but being self absorbed is another thing. It can even sometimes come off as being toxic.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Yes, definitely... So in love with themselves, to be able to love anyone else, and so in love with themselves they think everyone else is too 🤣

lightbulb27 · Answer

that's not love thats something else. I don't recall Jesus spending a lot of time gawking in the mirror. Vanity, pride? Lack of self esteem? You'll have to hang out with him and psycho analyze:) Boost his ego by complementing some obscure muscle of his and ask how he maintains that... he will probably talk a lot of smack!

I see guys like this and guys that are weirder than that. they may be competing and so every ounce here and there matters.

Honesttguy · Answer

When i didn't have muscle there was nothing to look at, now when there is muscle you just have to check yourself out everyday. Its like addiction our human eyes just enjoy looking at nice things its why i look at girls butts everyday. Its just nice

It be weird if he spends hours looking at himseld in mirror tho, me i glance at my physice everyday when i change my cloth, but its just few seconds then i move on with my life.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I don't know... I'd be in the gym consistently during an underway and then the news would come in that we would be hitting port in Hong Kong in a couple of weeks. All of a sudden the gym would be packed. These dudes would curl and then flex in the mirror like some retards. I have this clear memory of this dude just checking his biceps like they're going to grow instantaneously right there in front of the mirror. People are weird like that.

Chris7094 · Answer

I would have to know the guy to understand if he's conceited or extremely insecure.

I used to look in the mirror a lot in Jr. High and some of my friends thought I was in love with myself. In reality I was always checking that my hair wasn't standing up at the back or something. I was more worried about my appearance.

Marianna546 · Answer

There is nothing wrong with liking your appearance though :/

Logan_96v · Answer

Yeah, but I’ll take narcissistic self-love over insecure or depressed self-doubt any day of the week.

_deeznuts · Answer

It's totally normal to flex and gawk at your reflection if you're feeling proud or hot. just because some nice women walked by and he didn't look doesn't make him self-obsessive, he could be gay lmao.

Chaser3232 · Answer

The question would be, are you lacking in the relationship? If so, then yes! But , if not just enjoy the view!

laurieluvsit · Answer

Rephrased - Can you be narcissistic? ... Yes I avoid them like the plague :)

kitkills · Answer

Why does it matter if he didn't look at someone else? Not everyone is obsessed with drowning their sorrows with sex like everyone (most likely you, if you're so upset by the idea of not gawking at women.)

Flats-Runner · Answer

He’s worked hard to get into top shape and just admiring the results.

Bluethinker456 · Answer

That's more like narcissism, as he's doing it in the gym. I had muscles like this before and didn't do anything like this.

Reesi · Answer

He is probably isn't vain he probably struggles with bdd people with bdd always looking in the mirror

anon1903 · Answer

He might be overweight before. Feels good to look better x.

Exterminatore · Answer

It’s called narcissism. I bet he jerks off to himself in the mirror.

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