I'm married and the girl at work won't leave me alone

Question

Well I'm married and the girl I work with won't leave me alone she keeps coming on to me and behaves really really naughty and puts me in uncomfortable situations and I keep getting told by her that she fets what she wants and I haven't told my wife nothing  Because I no my wife will flip out but I don't no what to do so please help?

AustinMan · Accepted Answer

You're in a really tough spot with her being your boss and her dad being the CEO. If, as I suspect, it's a privately held, probably family held, company, your options are limited and not very attractive. If it's a publicly held company, then things change for the better.

Your first step is to sit the girl down and hand her a memo from you to her complaining about her behavior and in it demand that she stop harassing you and behave in a professional manner. It's your call if you want to bring HR into the conversation. She may laugh it off but if you stick to your guns, hopefully she'll get the message. You might also let her know that retribution against you for asking her to stop is illegal and the basis for legal action. Only you know the situation well enough but if you can, send her dad a copy with a copy to HR. If she persists and you feel you can, line up a few witnesses who will back you up with the CEO and go to him. Ask him to put a stop to this. If he says he doesn't believe it, have a couple of credible witnesses outside his office and bring them in one at a time to testify to this outrage. You might even ask HR to be there for the conversation. I know this is heavy handed but you will have asked her to stop and she won't.

If that doesn't work, I'd give strong consideration to contacting the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and seeking their help. I'd consult a good employment attorney before you take this step to make sure you preserve all your options. You should probably also bring your wife in the loop at this point. Not sure why she reacts the way she does but I had a wife like that. I had cheated so she had a point. If you've tested this issue before by cheating or close, it gets a lot more complicated.

Best of luck. You're between a rock and a hard place but I have to think that if you have to involve her, you can ask your wife for her support and she'll be there for you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This will sound crude, but it WILL work.  Fart in front of her.  It will destroy her fantasy about you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Document that sh*t. Stash a recorder in your pocket with your phone. Also, have you ever told her in a serious way that you aren't interested in her and that you love your wife? Knowing that you're not single and knowing you're absolutely not interested are vastly different things.

It's harder to do anything working for a company her dad owns, but sometimes just playing it back to make her realize what a f***ing tool she is will help. If she's not reasonable, knowing that you have leverage against her might still make her back off.

In the meantime, have you seen that movie "Horrible Bosses" yet? It's ridiculous, but might make you laugh while you plot a way to get free of this mess.

acka72 · Accepted Answer

Two things you can do.

A. Quit your job

B. Tell her that the only reason she likes you is because you are "unavailable". Your wife on the other hand chose you when you were pathetic, single and nervous to ask her out. In other words when you were "available". You have real love for your wife and she would just be a fling if you did get involved with her which you wont. While you are at it tape record the conversation in case she gets violent or threatens to backmail you with lies.

The best thing you can do though is A.

dementedsoul · Answer

That her is she do not stop will report her to HR. That is sexual harssment and she can get fired or discharged for such. I was in your shoes but, with men and some like 3 got suspended for no pay and other one got fired for repeated offensives. I have been in your shoes as the women getting harssed at work. I don't work no more but, I will tell you one thing. Every job I had I get harssed and I DON'T EVEN TALK TO THEM.

please tell your wife as she has a right to know also. I used to tell my man and he would just tell me to visit HR and he supported me and was not angry as if your attractive that is bound to happen naturally.

that lady stalking you is a homewreaker btw.

l-hedoniste · Answer

This is sexual harassment, time to start acting like it. Let her know that if this doesn't stop, you will involve management, and this will get ugly. Once you get serious, she'll back down.

CuriousEddie · Answer

You have a sexual harassment claim. If you are in the US, have clearly said "no", document in notes what has taken place, how you've told her no, and talk to a lawyer.

Iceangel08 · Answer

Sounds like sexual harassment.  Tell her you wil put charges on her. sounds like you love your wife dearly. Don't let some woman at work be the end of something you care about. Hope she stops. :)

allison_lynn · Answer

You need to sit this girl down and tell her to leave you alone. If not, tell a superior and file it under sexual harassment. I wouldn't worry your wife about it unless it gets out of hand.

Anonymous · Answer

Just tell the chick straight up that you're married and that her behavior is unacceptable in the situation.

Anonymous · Answer

Send her my way the dungeon has unlimited space and she's certainly welcome.

CuriousEddie · Answer

You're worried she won't be discreet?

I'm married and the girl at work won't leave me alone

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