There's this guy friend I really like and care about. Well, he had cancer when he was a kid that left him with some conditions. It wasn't affecting his daily life until recently, he told me he is no longer driving. I know this has to do with his cancer so I asked him if he was OK and he said yes, but clearly not being able to drive due to medical reasons doesn't sound OK. I also know that he could like me Because we always hang out on Fridays (at a bar) and we talk a lot throughout the week. Well, recently he's intentionally avoiding any situation that can lead on to something more, even though he has done it before (putting his arms around me, holding hands etc). I care about him and want to be there for him...but I feel like he could be avoiding me because of his condition. What do I do? And how can I let him know that I don't care that he has all these conditions?
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So his health issue is getting worse and he's going in for tests this weekend. Aside from his roommates, I'm the only one he has shared this with so I offered to go to the hospital with him because I didn't want him to be alone. That didn't go too well and he basically blew up, told me that while he appreciates my concern, he can deal with it alone and doesn't need me there. Then why tell me in the first place? He also told me that he feels worse by having his friends worry, so I made him feel worse
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by letting him know that he doesn't have to go through this alone. Then I got completely shut out. However, he did come hang out with a bunch of us at a bar a day later, and immediately shot down my ill-advised idea of listing myself in a singles ad (in my defense, alcohol was involved) and his reasoning was that I'd get millions of hits and will be bothered forever. When sobered up, that got me wondering if he actually likes me in that way...then again there's that "leave me alone" incident
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So I'm totally at a loss of what to think here. At least, it seems like we've let that fighting go and made up, so we're talking. I also tried to let him know that I have my own medical issues (not as severe as his, but it's something I have to deal with for the rest of my life) and so I understand how much it sucks to be alone at the hospital waiting for test results, and he just shot me down.
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His test results came back negative, and his issues are very much treatable, so the cancer didn't come back! We went though a week of not talking much after our fight, but now we're back to how we have been before. The huge irony here is that, I found out around the same time (as his test results) that I have a tumor. It's benign, but long story short, there is a chance that I may not be able to have kids. So now I'm the one who has to go in for tests. Life do like to throw curveballs...
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