Why would a guy who seem very interested in a girl not make effort to see her/get in contact with her?

[Anonymous]

He likes her. It's obvious from the way he acts around her. He feels tense, blushes, gazes into her eyes, etc...

Why would this guy not make effort to get in contact with the girl?

Note: The girl makes it obvious that she's available and likes talking to him.

Honestly, If I were a boy I would do my best to get in contact with the girl I like. Otherwise, it means I'm uninterested in her.

[Laxgoalie14]

I feel like you could almost be talking about me, there is a girl who I wouldn't mind going out with and I pretty much do the same things around her, especially blushing, I just can't help it pretty much whenever a girl talks to/about me. Anyway what keeps me from asking her out is: 1) never seeing her alone/ I have free for all class with her and her friends that feel would get awkward 2) not being 100% confident that she really does like me. So #2 more importantly make it as obvious as possible that you want him to contact you, you'd be surprised how obvious you may have make it, example this girl has told me in a more friendly manner/ enviorment "I Love You" on multiple occasions and announced during several other class periods that she's my best friend, yet I'm not completely sold, in fact you may just have to suggest seeing him again on your own, but after the first time it's clear to him you're available and wanting a relationship, I'm sure he'll come around completely.

P.S. If you have thoughts on this girl I'm talking about, I'd appreciate it if people would check out

my question. Thanks!

[Asker]

Thank you so much. That was really helpful. BUT I made myself available and even approached him the first time. He has to do something. He feels tense in my presence, gazes deeply into my eyes, etc...I expected him to do something. Some move. Anything. He didn't. Should I forget about him?

[Laxgoalie14]

I would say he like me is either really nervous and/or enjoys attention and/or can't decide if he likes you or not(do you know what kind of relationship experince he has), those are things that I feel apply to me in my situation. I would say if you really like him don't forget about him, and think he might be confused too, and also remember it is OK for you to ask him out it's not unheard of. If you haven't yet please go to my profile, find the questions tab and check out my only question.

[Asker]

Thank you very much. :)

[Alessus]

Lack of confidence could be one or the guy might be very shy personality. Maybe what you think is obvious, he is completely oblivious about. Maybe he thinks that he is receiving mixed signals for some reason and decides not to risk it by acting. There isn't a good explanation I can give you here, because he might just be lazy like that, who knows. Or maybe in his situation he is unavailable or figures that he isn't yet fit for the relationship for whatever reason. There are so many possibilities, that you would have to ask the guy himself to know for sure.

[Asker]

I made myself available and even approached him the first time. He has to do something. He feels tense in my presence, gazes deeply into my eyes, etc...I expected him to do something. Some move. Anything. He didn't. Should I forget about him?

[Alessus]

Sounds like he just isn't ready. For some reason or the other. ?nd if you push yourself onto him, it's not going to end up good. So yes, I suggest that you search for someone else, because waiting for him might take a long time and you'll miss out on things, just for that small hope that he might get it together and actually do something.

[Asker]

You're right. I feel pathetic. I based my acts on his body language and the way he talked with me. He seemed really into me and that's why I approached him. It really makes me feel pathetic.

[Alessus]

I wouldn't call you pathetic. You thought then that taking that chance was worth the risk, so regretting that now is going to do you no good. You need to face forward and advance, not looking back, because that will only slow you down. And maybe the next one will be the one you are looking for or maybe not, but if you hesitate to even take that step, it's not going to help you. At least in my opinion.

[Asker]

So you think, future-wise, it's healthy to make a move on guys that seem interested? Or should I act differently?

[Asker]

Last question, I promise. If I ever bumped into him again, should I chat with him or just keep it short and excuse him? How should I act with a guy like him?

[Alessus]

Well, if you do make a move on a guy, it might make you seem either agressive or needy, possibly both and as such might "scare" off those men. Then again, it's the only way you get your interest across in a very direct manner. For me, the approach thing would be your best option. But then again, if guys would be interested in you they would usually approach you first. So it's up to you, but I'd probably leave the approach for guys you have a stronger than average attraction to.

[Alessus]

Well I'd suggest the short, polite greeting and then leave if you bump into him, but nothing is really stopping you from doing the idle chit-chat. Though if you need time to sort of "get your head back into the game" and so over him, I'd believe you should leave the small talk. If you ever come across a shy guy again, you might end up approaching him first, but if he does the same thing as this guys, you should feel free to just forget it then. If they don't show at least a bit of initiative...

[Asker]

Thank you very much for your help. I truly appreciate it.

[Alessus]

Always happy to help. That's why I'm here.

[swiftsaver602]

Either he isn't interested, or he's afraid to get rejected so he doesn't make a move.

[Asker]

I made myself available and even approached him the first time. He has to do something. He feels tense in my presence, gazes deeply into my eyes, etc...I expected him to do something. Some move. Anything. He didn't. Should I forget about him?

[swiftsaver602]

He could just be insecure and still wary of making a move. Sometimes even when the girl does the approaching, the guy still second-guesses himself. You might just have to take it upon yourself to ask him out on this one.

[Anonymous]

unless his confidence is pretty good, he won't talk to you, unless you start :D

its about fear, what to say, what to do, especially inexperienced ones don't know theys are fine to start with. I for example didn't think I was up to her, or simply receive love because I knew conditional love only which brings very low self esteem. That is, people have to reprogram themselves to believe they are worthy, otherwise fail after fail.

I as an example know a girl for 3 years and I just today managed to mail her that Id like to go on a coffee lol. (and I love her a lot lol) A month ago I met her in the nearby town and we went for a coffee. Otherwise it would be just hi hi, bye thing. Even though I big smiled on her, since its been months since I saw her. So if she doesn't answer, I don't know what to do next. Because if Id propose again or just write all over it would be like if I'm needy. And I had plenty of experience like this, with her.

[Opinion Owner]

she invited me cause I wouldn't dare to :p But now I think, what can I lose, so I wrote to her. I "hope" she ignores me, something she likes. If so I won't write to her again, because its not funny. When I overcome myself and do actually write to her it takes a lot of effort. But if she's silent... whatever. I love her though. She does like me but communication otherwise is terrible :p

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your response. I made myself available and even approached him the first time. He has to do something. He feels tense in my presence, gazes deeply into my eyes, etc...I expected him to do something. Some move. Anything. He didn't. Should I forget about him?

[Opinion Owner]

even if he does make some move, it might not be the best he does, cause he might be freaked about "what to do". If you want him, you need to have lots of patience, because of his very likely self-limiting beliefs, that he's unworthy etc.

[anonymousbastard]

Have you ever asked a guy out? Don't say you have because I doubt it. And how dare you say if you were a a boy you would ask out a girl? That's a slap in the face to all us guys, you have no idea how nervous we get just to say hi. The guy needs to do more then say hi, he needs to be really good looking, tall, muscular, have a nice car, etc. So please don't sit there acting like you know what guys go through.

[Asker]

YES I made myself available and even approached him the first time. He has to do something. He feels tense in my presence, gazes deeply into my eyes, etc...I expected him to do something. Some move. Anything. He didn't. Should I forget about him?

[anonymousbastard]

Again I just love how women think they know, what a guy goes through. I'm not here to bust your bubble, just saying it like it is. What do you expect the guy to do? Get on his knees and ask you to marry him? The reason its easier for you is because you don't have to ask out as many guys as he probably has. He just like most guys as given up. I know I have, I'm not gonna waste my time if I know I'm gonna get rejected over & over again.

[Asker]

I made the first move. Didn't you get that?

[anonymousbastard]

So you made the first move congrats what do you want a medal? I'm laughing right now because a women had to make the move like that makes them special or they think, they broke some unwritten code. The only reason why women don't make the fist move is because they all want the guy to feel ashamed, nervous, and getting laughed at.

[Asker]

You're so bitter lol

[anonymousbastard]

How I'm I bitter? Because I'm right? Women only go out with the jerks, douche bags, and rich guys. Like I said if the guy is fat, ugly and poor forget it he ain't getting a GF.

[Asker]

Not true. You just gave up on love.

[anonymousbastard]

Your right the last girl I knew turned out to be a big bitch, that's when I realized they all were.

[GAG1989]

because he likes the attention and is leading you on