Am I doing something wrong?

Hi I am new to posting on this website so I am hoping that I put this question in the right section.

I've been trying to get myself out to date since I would like to get a boyfriend but have a hard time attracting nice guys.

The only guys I have attracted so far have been super creepy. I had a stalker in high school before I dropped out & finished HS at home. Then a guy I knew from kindergarten showed interest during the summer & while he wasn't my type I wanted to give it a shot & he came over to play video games at my apt where i live alone & let a friend down the street know he was there in case something happened since I hadn't seen him for like 15 years. He was ok until he found out I was virgin & started asking me a lot of sex questions. He didn't try anything but it was super uncomfortable so I asked him to leave me alone after that. I was also molested when I was 6 so even though it was probably stupid to actually tell him I was but I have PTSD & I was afraid my anxiety would act up or have freeze if he touched my arm or sat too close.
He also asked me why I won't have a bf yet but I had no answer lol I also agreed to let him over as a friend by the way so his mixed signals freaked me out a little bit. I still worry if I over reacted & misjudged.

I'm shy but will talk if someone talks to me, polite, have a passion for music & video games, love animals, & even though I do cuss a lot I never do around people that don't like it. I also don't like makeup.

Also I did tell this guy friend I liked in my Japanese class in college 2 years ago that I liked him (even said it in JP cause I was embarrassed to say it in ENG) he was flattered but I was awkwardly rejected cause he couldn't flat out say "sorry I don't like u like that" & beat around the bush.

So am I doing something wrong? Is it because I'm damaged goods? I'm not good at being a girly girl. I like cute things and looking cute but that's it. Sadly lol

Thank you to those at help me! Sorry its long too.

small correction* I just noticed I put I freeze instead of putting I freeze up and sometimes have flashbacks. While I don't like letting people know about it, I also don't want them to be offended if they come near me and I jump away or keep my distance in general. It takes me a while to warm up to others so people that are extremely pushy tend to make me back away.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not damaged goods I can assure you that from what you've written so far. You just haven't had good luck and that's fine. Good things will eventually come to you, I'm not sure if you heard this saying "Dont go out looking for love, let love come looking for you" or something like that... Well that might just happen, or you know "Expect the unexpected". Just give it time, I'm sure the right guy will appear and will like you for who you are and how you are and you'll think exactly the same of him. As of 2013 the earths population is at 7.125 billion people, so trust, eventually the right one will come :) Don't rush, give it time!

    • thank you for the nice comment and encouragement ^_^
      it's good to know people don't think I am damaged cause I really hate letting people know about being molested but I also don't want a guy feeling offended if I suddenly jump away or keep my distance.

    • Stuff happens and besides it was at an age that you were vulnerable, and just because that happened it doesn't make you a bad person or not someone that can be loved, everyone has their deep dark secrets as well. I'm sure you have tons of good qualities about you and eventually someone else will see them too and they will love you for it no matter what you've been through. So dont give up k!

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What Guys Said 7

  • You are doing nothing wrong, you have just been unlucky with the selection of guys you've met. Keep looking and eventually you will have a much better encounter. And maybe try to get out and talk to people more like some friends to be more ready to handle a seemingly awkward conversation in the future

    • You are doing nothing wrong... God made you perfect just the way you are and has not forgotten you. He made someone else out there for you and has a plan for you. You'll see (;

    • thank you! ^_^ I do the best I can since most of my friends are married. You would think they would do on TV and try to play cupid lol

    • Haha but once your friends play Cupid, next thing you know you're on a blind date with someone who's actually blind!

  • It's a numbers game, some will find the one instantly some may have to go through a bunch of people. Just keep doing your thing.

  • Forget about that friend from kindergarten he sounded like a desperate jerk anyways who just wanted to get in your pants. Just keep trying your not damaged goods its not your fault you were molested having no make up is fine you look like you got natural looks anyways which is great I'd date you if I was single since I love video games :).

    • thanks :)
      Yeah I think you're right about that guy. He even told me he had 22 sex partners like that is impressive or attractive. I was just worried I accidently led him on somehow.

    • No problem :) hahah yeah him saying he's had more partners is the worst thing you could tell any women.

  • You don't need to do anything at all (as a girl).

    Maybe something with your body.

    Maybe more snaps of the face.

    • I'm already thin and like my body. As for more snaps of the face... not really into the whole dating website thing. With my bad luck with men it's not a good idea for me to try.

    • Show All
    • In fact thin is bad.

      I love the fat. That's why I like girls, cause they got extra fat.

    • well good for you but I don't. There's no need to be skinny shaming either.

  • Be more proactive.

    Go up and to a guy you like and ask him if he wants to go out sometime.

  • Choose your one and perfect one ie life partner, if you see in him something so its no bad to be your bf. You're too mature to understand life better. You not to follow gals having bf aimless. Getting something else is different thing.:)

  • Well your attractive, maybe your stink?

    • I don't stink. Stop trolling people's stuff. It's not helpful and just makes you look like a jerk,

What Girls Said 1